MaShEd PoTaToEs

2006-10-27T11:14:00.000+08:00

had to cab down to school today... big sister took away the alarm clock making me wake up late... was quite irritated by her... i think i need to get a clock of my own... didn't wanna come school initially... but checked that i've already skipped once... i shan't skip another time or it'll be a waste... saving it for the last week of school... school's a drag... but luckily i did come today... cos today's meant for slacking... done my work by 11pm so from now till 2... it's idle idle idle... =D happy day...

gonna get myself my mp3 soon... tamagotchi mp3... damn cute... 2GB from creative... 200 plus... no more pink though... but the pink is cute though...

don't think they'll allow me to order it... i think it's limited edition somehow... a treat to myself... but of course... if once i buy the mp3... i can't buy clothes till my holiday comes cos i've got to save money... and so far... so good... i've not overspent... and i have savings... =D it feels good to know that there's money in your bank and it's not decreasing... hehe...

bought some accessories online too... i love my charm bracelet... it's real pretty... at least to me... =D i bought charm earrings too... i love charms... maybe i should go make one of my own too... hehe... but i'm just too lazy to do and get the stuff... haha...

3 more weeks till Joyce is back... HURRAYS!!!!!!!!!!

chao... bonjour!

2006-10-19T01:30:00.000+08:00

hurrays for my voice being back!!!!! i can talk again... not fully recovered but good enough to talk my hearts out... and darling Joyce allowed me to burst it out on her... LoL... 4 more weeks till she's back... HURRAYS!!!! company from her!!!! can't wait... =D

went to the library to prepare for UT... yes... the first time i did that... and Tampines Library ain't that good... it has very limited reference book... luckily for me i could locate one that could help me for UT... and now i'm back on my com studying more for UT... molecular and cell bio... i know nuts man... in fact... i think i don't know what the hell i'm doing anymore... argh!!!! i'm lost... seriously... very lost... have no idea why... i seem to have lost my directions on where i wanna go and do and things like that... i'm drifting... and drifting very badly... help... i do need help!!! i'm going mad... =X

it's puzzling me the things the guy said to me... prolly being super emo and had a tiff with girlfriend leading to such senseless conversation... what exactly is he driving at and trying to get me to say? i don't know man... i'm disgusted by his actions and thoughts... i guess some people just don't change.. never cherishing what they have and always trying to destroy what they have... how stupid... i sympathize such people... cos they don't know what they want... told Joyce about my encounter with him and she said he's prolly testing me and wanna feel some ego about girls can't be without him and apparently... i haven't given him that... am i suppose to? i said before he'll regret ending with me... and he's now regretting... or pretending to regret... i have no idea... but this's the 2nd already... that's totally pathetic... can't he get a life... he has a girlfriend and he's flirting with his old flame...(if i ever was...) what is he thinking... stupid guy... what a loser... *rolls eyes*

it's going to be 2 and i don't feel sleepy at all... i'm having insomnia... oh my... i hate that... i wanna sleep at appropriate times and be awake correctly... do i have lots on my mind? well... ya... considering that school is full of competitions and test and me not knowing what the hell i'm doing anymore and dreaming of the impossibles... obviously i have lots on my mind... but a person got to sleep doesn't she... but i can't.... WHY!!!! * screams * i should stop thinking... but the thoughts don't stp coming... i think too much... dream too much... drift too much... i'm gonna fall into depression and start isloating myself... yea... i've totally lost myself now.. i'm no longer on track... no longer what i think i was.... i'm drowning in my own life... i'm going crazy... goodbye world... i'm gonna just fall into misery till i wake up again... and i pray that when i do wake up... it's not too late... =(

bonne nuit!! heading back to those notes which hopefully will get into my head before i doze off and head off to that dreaded place of mine when i awake... not from the darkness i'm feeling now... but from my sleep... IF i can get any... chao...

2006-10-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

i've lost my voice... =((( not a sound it able to escape my mouth except the sounds of me coughing and clearing my throat every now and then... this totally sucks... i'm not used to being silent... argh!!! oh well... it'll go away... it obviously will go away... or else i'll be a mime forever... =X

red giselle on friday was good... even though i got a little confuse halfway through... but i manage to get it in the end... it's kinda sad... the story... but i wouldn't be going into detail what it is about... knowing that is good is sufficient... next up... Phantom Of the OPREAAAAAAAAAA!!! hee! =D i'm so looking forward to it... though... it'll be next year... and pricely... but i know it's gonna be good... =D

been coming home directly after school these days... reason being: save money... uh-huh... i've got to save... save for the good times.... SHOPPING!!!! i can't stand being broke anymore... so i'll endure... miss out the rest of the weeks of going out after school's fine.. plus.. i get family time... haha... how cool is that.... hehe...

parents are the best people you can have in the world... when you're sick they give you all the care that you can get and try every means to make you feel better... they may be a pain in the arse on some occassions but they are never fail to be the best in the end... my mum's feeding me yucky tea and cooling lozenges to make me talk again... =D and even wanted to buy some other wierd tea for me to drink... all to just make me make a sound... haha... i guess they miss my voice and talking... i haven't talked the whole day... and the worst thing is when there's a phone call... i can't even answer.. cos the person on the other line wouldn't be able to listen to my bearly audible whisper... yes... that's how horrible my throat is now... but i can feel it getting better... on monday... or even better tomorrow... i'll be talking non-stop and prolly that'll improve my grade... though i do dread monday lessons... they are always taking ages to get done and over with... or rather more of the stupid fac taking ages to get done and over with.... sigh... i hate school... i've already skipped school twice and it's like only the beginning... plus... UTs are coming so quickly... it's suffocating... but on the bright side... there lab sessions to look forward too... i love lab sessions... =D they are so fun... and extremely relaxing... my class people are full of nonsense... vulgar... but nonsensical... but school's still not enjoyable... there are some snobs in class... 2 actually... 1 fat arse who things he's damn great and that damaging school property and almost hitting someone is funny and cool... another... just because he is smart he starts to look down on people and when i mean people... i mean me.... argh!!! what irritants... i hate such snobs... they can go eat shit and die... in fact... i think they don't deserve to be around at all... argh... pissed off...

that's enough ranting for now... my darling's online to talk to me... though i have been talking to her almost everyday.. but it's always nice to talk to her cos she knows me best... =D tata... bonne nuit!

2006-10-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

here i am... sitting in front of my labby... and the tv... trying to multi-task and write something of substance instead of pure nonsense... haha... okay... so maybe i am stuttering nonsense already.... so much for substance ar...

here's the boring day at school... i practically was stoning the whole day... didn't do much... and prepared to do badly again for the 2nd time... where's the motivation i need to study???? i seriously need to get down to studying already... reason being that everyone in class is like a walking encycopedia... i'll have to start hitting the books already... i wanna do well... but the competition's really high... and it really kills me and drain everything out of me that i become brain dead... =X oh well... to the library for books... now who says RP need no textbooks... haha....

friday's mid-autumn... and i also realized that friday's is the day i told Tashie i'm going o club with her... now how am i gonna do that without leaving the party abruptly... hmmm.... oh well... i'll see what happens then... =D i love mid autumn... i love the lanterns... i like the gatherings... but the aftermath sucks... haha... oh well... when my little cuzzies come... meaning the ones that are still in kindergarten... they'll be getting stickers from me... and i'm happy with the stickers i've got them... haha...

i have nothing else to say... but bon nuit! i'm off to my bed... with Floppy waiting for me... meaning my bear... if only Floppy meant my dog... not Coco my dog... but MY dog the dog... you know what i mean? haha... okay... snooze time... bon nuit! again... =D

2006-10-01T01:05:00.000+08:00

i owe you people answers to the questions weeks weeks weeks ago... so here are the answers...

did you get them right? sometimes the answers are quite lame yet logical... =X

blogging isn't one my list anymore... so many things happened that it becomes hard to write them all down and understand the things that happened around us... things that are not expected to happen happened... things that should happen never happen... life's always like that... what's wrong... sigh....

darling Joyce... please don't brood over what's been happening... it's sad to know that you're feeling helpless down under and i can't help in any way... why did it all happen this way... you're upset and have no one to hold to now and all i can do is just listen to you being sad and no way of comforting you... i hope that everything would be alright in the end... and that it'll be a happy ending come November... i'll always be there...

damn i sound lesbian... LoL... but when your closest friend is needing a shoulder to cry on and you're so far away to do that... i guess the only thing that could be done is waiting patiently for her to recover on her own... sigh...

school started for 2 weeks already... good news... i know lots of people in my class... and the ones that i don't know are ubber friendly and i'm enjoying class... bad news... i still don't like school... and school made me reformat my whole computer... another good news... i didn't lose my stuff in my com thanks to Joe's external hard disk... so now my computer's not so empty... =D so it's still good on the whole... =D

i'm flat broke and part jobless... i've stop work for the time being cos my manager said so... she'll call when she need people again... that's why i haven't refunded my 20 bucks stuck with Taka's stuff... pay hasn't come in either... i want my pay... =((( i'm super flat broke... and i really mean flat flat flat broke... it's really miserable... i'm trying to save every penny as possible... but it's hard... real hard... sigh... my pay must come soon... then at least i can survive a little while... i've decided to stop spending money and be on a ubber strict budget... which means... i'll go out after school much less often... and i'll bring my own lunch to school... or even better... not eat... that way... i diet and save money... i've already started on my diet programme... exercising... running in the park with my darling Coco once a week and TRY to turn up for trainings... haha... notice the try... haha... it's just hard to come for trainings... i don't know why... sometimes i feel like it... but most of the time... haha... count me out... LoL... one day when i announce that i'm out of tennnis... don't be surprise... hehe... but at least now i know how to play tennis... i could always do it for leisure... =D

there's so many concerts i wanna catch at the Esplanade... but most of them are always sold out... or with bad seatings... it's annoying... and the woman at the ticketing booth thinks that we can't afford the good seats and didn't bother reccomending them to me... what's that suppose to mean... i may be a student... but if i really wanna watch it... i can afford to pay for the good seats... MTV Overdrive's coming... i wanna watch... and it's cheap... hopefully there'll be good seating still too... if it's higher than the 3rd level... i can forget about watching it... cos then i'll be just seeing their heads... Red Giselle looks good too... and Carmen... all i wanna see and all are full of people watching... sigh... try my luck next time... watching ballet with Ping on Children's Day... The Nutcracker Ballet... it's cheap.. haha... and i think it would be good... at the same time check if 3rd level of the concert hall is good... cos if it is... then maybe we'll be getting the seat at the 3rd level for Red Giselle and Carmen... the tickets ain't that expensive either... which is good... =D but we'll see first...

before i forget... HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!!!!!! give yourself a lollie or candy to celebrate this day... let the child in you come out to celebrate this happy and fun day... this would be the day you'll be excused for any mischief... afterall... you're just a kid... for that day... =D

i ought to be sleeping already... morning yoga... afternoon concert and having children's day... hurrays... good night world and people and the tiny little things that exist with us... bon nuit!

2006-09-05T20:49:00.000+08:00

here's a few questions for you to ponder on... it's really interesting... have fun testing your intelligence... answers will be revealed by the next entry....

meanwhile......... ENJOY AND HAVE FUN!!!

a little tribute to steve irwin the wacky crocodile hunter... his death is really surprising and the cause of death was not what i always imagined it would be... to him... thanks for the amazing and entertaining shows you put up with the crocodiles and showing your enthusiasm towards the crocs... may you rest in peace.... and have fun with your croc friends wherever you will be... =(

chao chao... and bonne nuit!!

2006-09-04T01:19:00.000+08:00

i'm finally going for training... but it's a rather tight schedule tomorrow... right after training i need to have a quick bath and head for town for a job interview... this week's rather packed... i'll be working endlessly after wednesday... porvided i get the job.... =D money rolling in is a good thing... but then again... it sucks having to stand the whole day... and 1% commission of personal sale sucks... it's like close to nothing... but hell... as long as it fetches me shopping money.... i don't care... haha... but my pay will be going to a mp3 i need... so maybe not much... so far i haven't calculated how much i would earn in this job... but i don't think it would be that bad... prolly enough for me to buy a mp3 with some leftover as savings...

sponsored shopping today... very contented... got a skirt and a top... and 2 pairs of earrings... all cheap deals... and nice... =D finally got myself a skirt... but it's not denim skirt which i want.. and haven't got myself a bag.... hmmm.... but i can slowly get them... and hopfully the jacket that i want from bugis is still there... then i pretty much got what i want and need... clothes will never stop coming into my wardrobe... but i'm controlling my spending now... =D Jie Jie got my skirt and earrings... my top was cheap... it's only 9 bucks... future state's having sale now... that's explain all the good deals... in fact lots of places are having sales now... this feels more like the great singapore sales... maybe singapore should change the great singapore sales to september... cos that's when everyone's having sales... =D I LOVE SALES!!! and shopping... =D happy day...

an uncle at a foodcourt near simei irritated the shit out of me early in the morning... apparently i wanted to eat mee pok for lunch... so i told that uncle mee pok dry ta bao... fishball one... i thought he got it... but nooooo.... he didn't.... he stared at me... and then said... mee kia ar? i said mee pok... then he said mee kia ar? then again i said mee pok.... he was about to cook the noodle and asked me again... mee kia ar? i was like.... argh!!!!!!! but obviously... i didn't show my fustration... i continued saying i want mee pok... then he started asking me... ba chor de ar? and i said fishball de... then he asked me again... fishball ar? then i said.. yea... fishball... then he started putting in the bowl and of course i quickly said uncle... ta bao... and as if it was my fault that i didn't tell him earlier which i did... he gave me a disapproving look... he didn't hear it man... he only thinks about mee kia... what can i do... then after that i said i wanna have soup after looking at the amount of chilli he put in... he gave me a frown like i'm ridiculous... and that's the end of my encounter with this weird uncle... he really can irritate the hell out of me in the morning... all for just a packet of mee pok... how fascinating....

shaik told me an auntie colleague of his told him i'll be one fat arse when i'm pregnant and given birth... will it be true? i pray not... i don't wanna be a fat arse... =( i'm still losing weight even before i'm pregnant... and it's tough already... what would after being pregnant be like man... noooooo.... anyhow... that's too early to think about... focus on getting my ideal weight first... lose those flabs... and i'll be contented... =D *dreams*

i'm off... bonne nuit! and bonjour!

P.S: i learn a new french word... omelette du fromage... tell you what it means next time... =D

2006-08-27T02:28:00.000+08:00

yoga later in the morning... stretching myself to the max again and bringing my muscles aches to training the next day.... my.... this is painful... but i know this is for the better... i need to get back to my original prone-to-osteoporosis weight... then i won't be so huge anymore... =D bye bye fats... you're going away for good...

i've been spending money again.... no good sign... i'm supposed to save and be financially stable... =X i got clothes again... last saturday i bought this...

and just thursday i bought a top from Zara the red one...

they are having a sale and it was a good buy so i was tempted and ended buying it... then i spent 35 bucks buying tickets to watch children's day programs at the esplanade... but they are really worth it... so maybe that wasn't THAT bad... haha... i was tempted to buy many other clothes too... 2 from topshop... 1 fromWh... but i didn't buy them... i've decided that i should restrict myself from buying things to 1 item every 3 times i go out... or everytime i go out... that way... i would spent so much... i don't go out that often anyway... and if i do go out often... then i'll just bear with it or have some financial support first when i go out... =D and of course i'll make sure that i really really like it... or if it's a good deal and i'll wear it all the time... then i'll get it... i have to be wiser now... =)

packed my room yesterday to make it neater... i wonder it stay that way again... haha... so far it has stayed tidy for 2 days... but the untidiness is coming back already... i think i'm an untidy person though i like being tidy... so contradicting... to put it simply... what i like isn't what it'll be... does that make sense... talking about sense... i told my cousin this when she said she wanted to eat sashimi but didn't want to pay so much for a plate during a buffet... so i told her this...

if you wanna eat sashimi without having to pay... here's a way...

take a salmon sushi...

take the sashimi...

throw the sushi...

then hide the sushi...

and you'll get your sashimi....

does that make sense? she laughed at me and said what kinda logic is that supposed to be... i thought that made sense... i'm just teaching her how to eat sashimi in a buffet and not get charged for food wastage... everybody does that... it's a known tactic... yet she doesn't know... i don't get it... *wonders...*

i better get some snooze already... it's 2.53... i need to get some rest before i stretch myself in yoga in a few hours time and go ummmm.... after lessons... seriously... they do that... amazing eh... i love the last part... lying on the floor and closing my eyes... i could just fall asleep during that part... haha...

okay... i'm off to bed already... chao... bonne nuit!! & bonjour!

2006-08-24T01:48:00.000+08:00

holidays have started... and 1 week of it is going to end soon.... that's fast.. i'm waiting for my nails to dry now and that's why i've decided to blog again since i've been missing for almost a week... and i mean literally... the last few days of school i didn't bother turning up and announced holiday unofficially... but i don't think i missed out much in school or class either... so no harm done... if i'm asked what i've been doing the past few days of being missing... i would say.... nothing... nothing at all... i don't even know what i was doing... i just didn't have any motivation i guess... not even a single feel of going school... the only worry now is that the school's really gonna take 12 modules instead of 14 out of the 16 even though it's been said and confirm by many people and facs... but i just can't help worrying stilll cos my grades aren't that fantastic neither is it bad though... but i kinda risk it... please let my next class be better than the last one... not saying that it is bad... but i guess the sense of belonging comes a little too late and everyone is mostly in their own world and group.... =D oh well... it's over... let's await the next long hours and days in school and be happy and scram from the school... =)

went for my first yoga lesson last sunday and was aching all over by monday... =X this is bad... and bacause of my ache... i didn't go school and didn't turn up for training... now that's bad... i'll prolly get kicked out soon... but i think i have no one else to blame but myself for such ending of my tennis... i do love the sport... no doubt... but i just don't have the determination to attend trainings regularly... reason being... i don't have kakis perhaps... the girls are nice... sure... we can talk... we can laugh... but it's still different.. further more... they are already in their own group... and they are in a clique already... it's hard to suddenly be in it... so i guess i skip trainings sometimes... and so there goes my lose-weight plan... but i think my yoga will help me... and my swimming.. so i'll not be completely hopeless... =D now that's comforting... haha...

meeting Ping for lunch in the afternoon... before she goes to work and after that Janice.. 2 things to collect... my pay..[*YIPEE!!!*] and my shoe... a long long time shoe that i ordered but they failde to call me when they said they would... stupid people... coming september gonna help Jordan with stock take and at the same time earn some cash... not alot... but enough for me to survive i hope... =X definitely will... budget spending... i really do need to budget...

David tao is my new chinese music love interest... his songs are nice... though not easy to sing along to... but keeps me listening... and never bored... just like jay chou... both have talent both ain't that good looking... but both have nice music... and worth the listening to... =D

good news arrived to me on tuesday about my darling Joyce... she's coming back early... yay!!! though i'll still be having school by then... but she coming back early is still good for me... at leasy i'll be able to talk to her as and when i like since it'll be local charges... haha.... and meeting up with her just for fun would be easy too... and i don't have to wait for her letter... haha... and this time... i'll give her her gift before she leaves... that's for sure... haha...

i'm not really sure if my nails are dry already... but i'm starting to feel sleepy already... and i still need to get up rather early around 12pm(to me that is...) to be able to be on time to meet Ping... =X i'll definitely be late... darn... i think i shall have to stop here already... my eyes are getting real tired now... it's the holidays... i'll blog often now since won't be busy with work since i'm jobless and it's the holidays... =D

i'm scramming now... the creepy crawlies are coming out soon to freak the hell of me... =S *faints*

bonne nuit! & bonjour!

2006-08-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

the end of WCG @ suntec convention... and that means end of money making for me... the place is full of weirdos... seriously... they talk funny sometimes... LoL... but not too bad people around... RPians were like everywhere in the event... and many subscribe for this online gaming forum after some easy persuasion from Valen and me... mostly Valen did it... haha... anyways... saw a couple of people that i know and a few that knows me but i don't remember them... and some from same secondary school but don't recall seeing... whatever it is... they still helped me finish my job early... HURRAYS!!!! the only problem is that i earn lesser too... but then again... staying in a place full of computer geeks for too long is quite tiring... no offence gamers... =D DOTA is a game that i'll never get its excitement and a total tranquilizer... i can just fall asleep while the competition is going on when everyone else is cheering for god knows what... Samsung hosts were irritating though cute... they kept going on and on and on... never seem to get tired of talking or dry from hours of entertaining the crowd... but one of them is really cute... some mediacorpe artiste called Randall i think... quite style... and i think he drives a cooper if i'm not wrong cos i saw him coming out of the carpark this morning... a big man in a cooper... hmmmm.... but his cooper is damn cool... i love cooper... but beetles are still my no.1 car on the list... =D

hamstie's cage is finally bought... yay!!!! and it's the one i've been eyeing for a long long time... the water bottle is damn cool... is not like the normal bottles that you see... it's a mushroom bottle... haha... really cool... next time i'll show you the picture... i think Hamstie's still not use to the new cage yet though... he seems lost of what to do with so much space and so many things especially the wheel and this mushroom house thingy... haha... but i think he'll make use of them soon... he's getting skinnier though... it's time to feed him more again... i don't like skinny animals... they look sad... and tortured... I LOVE MY HAMSTIE!!! that's so random... =D

yoga lesson's set already... my parents are signing up for me... i missed the first lesson already which happens to fall on today... but oh well... can't be helped... Anna's coming with me... yay!!! someone's gonna exercise with me although Anna is already bones... i don't get why she still wants to go for the exercising yoga... haha...

yesterday's the end of my fireworks festival... and the finale was extremely beautiful... the fireworks were sooo slow... yet beautiful and mesmerizing... it's the best ever... but then again... to me all fireworks are always the best ever... we should be like sydney... have it every week... like every saturday or sunday... so that we can appreciate the beauty of it... costly perhaps... but very satisfying... no one ever gets bored of fireworks... it always look pretty... =D

trainings have been made to wednesday... what crap man... now my wednesdays will be no going out for me cos at 5 i need to be in woodlands for training... what kinda rubbish is that man... wednesdays are my off days... i don't deserve such treatments... =((( bloody tennis in-charge...

i've got an ulcer on my gum and it's hurting me very very badly... it's bloody painful and i can't do anything about it... if i put salt on it tears would prolly be squeezed out during that process cos it'll hurt like mad... but i guess it's the only choice i've got or else it'll be there for a long long time...

okay... i'm gonna put salt on my ulcer already... feel my pain people... feel it... =X

chao chao... bonne nuit!!

2006-08-07T01:36:00.000+08:00

1 hour and 32 minutes ago... it was officially my mummy's birthday.... me and ah ling jie jie did a room service celebration for her... and i think it did make the starting of her birthday bright.... now her room smells of durian... LOL.... a recordable flower for her... that had me and my sister's singing in it... but that won't be the end of her present... at the end of the month all 3 of us are saving for either an Aigner bag or Coach bag for her... tough to save... but must save... cos it's important... =D

dinner at night with mummy later... after i go for a briefing for my weekend job... Valentina's gonna join me... great... i've got a partner... working won't be a bore then... i'm gonna earn money... weeeeee~!!!! won't be so broke anymore... soon... for now... i'm gonna be.... i've got my concession to pay for... i'll be living on 20 bucks the rest of the week... no going out for dinner after school for me... i prolly be good this whole week...

Mummy bought me lingeries finally... and more knickers... cute Mark & Spencers knickers... haha... what i need now are bedroom slippers... comfy nice and reasonably priced bedroom slippers... i need bedroom slippers... but i don't know where to get cute and comfy yet reasonably priced ones... i see cheap and cute ones but not comfy... comfy and cute but comes with crazy price.. if not it'll be comfy and cheap but not nice...
the monty python one is sooo cute... and it's selling for $47.18 on ebay without shipment price... cute eh? and i bet it's extremely comfy too... well it does look comfy... haha... this would be very cool slippers... i love it... funny cute and cool slippers.... I WANT!!!! if i have the money to buy it... which i don't.... shall save for it... but i don't get the payment method... prolly consult Joyce darling about such matters... haha... she's a online shopper now... a member on ebay... and had bought tons of things from there i think... so she'll be a good person to ask... one day might even get hooked on eshopping too... =X then there goes my money again... haha...

went shopping with ahling jie jie today... she bought me 2 tops and 2 pair of earrings... she herself bought 2 tops 1 dress and a pair of earrings... and they are cheap... very very cheap... bugis is the best... though... they should sell clothes that will also cater for bigger size people like me? haha... cos seriously... they maybe cheap... but they are all for ubber skinny people... petite and skinny... soon they'll just disappear into dust... LoL...

coco look so cute.... no... he is cute... and he looks like a seal in the picture... haha... lazing around on a saturday afternoon in my living room after a bath and being super clean and the best thing is his ticks are all gone... all dead... finally... gone from his body... he'll be able to roam the house again... =D hurrays!!! haha... i love coco...

okay... i'm off to bed already... long day ahead again... UT and birthday celebration for Mummy... chao chao... bonjour and bonne nuit!!

2006-08-01T13:36:00.000+08:00

late for school as usual... came in during first break... finished my work 10 mins later... thanks to Jasmine... i provided what i needed... no trouble at work... the slackiest days of my school days... when i'm done... boredom starts to kick in.... school's really lifeless... then again... 2 more weeks of school... and i'm free!!! =D hurrays!!

i like today... everything's so fast... fast work done... fast presentation... fast day... fast everything... makes the whole day less draggy... and tiring... and i'm leaving class fast too... and fast fast reach home... and then meet Ping at TM... the middle of the week is coming soon... days are flying past fast now... yippee... the hols are nearing... and soon christmas will be here... oh my.... i even thinking about christmas... but i love christmas... christmas means Joyce coming back... christmas means nearing of graduation of RP.... christmas means get togethers... christmas means chinese new year's coming... so many things to think when christmas's coming... weeeee!!!!! i'm already in holiday mood!!! =D

i think i've got rashes... my face's itching bad... i hate mosquitoes when they bite my face... and places where i can't scratch when it itch cos it's obscene... shoo mosquitoes... shoo!!! bite someone else and leave me alone... =(

i'm looking for bedroom slippers... nice comfy and cheap... where can i get that?? those i like either too ex... or not comfy though it's cute... =( there's many things i'm looking for but can't get it... WHERE'S MY SUGAR DADDY!?!?!?!?!? oops... haha...

it's almost 6ppt time... but my last group refuses to go... as usual... damn... oh well... shall continue waiting and stone... i'm having a sudden headache and my throat feels sore... =( I WANNA GO HOME!!!!

chao chao... bonjour! 6ppt time...

2006-07-25T12:05:00.000+08:00

time check: 12 noon
i'm done with my work.... =D the fastest ever and i did something... i contributed... i participated... i did something... now i should be able to get a decent grade... i need those grades...

i'm tired... sleepy... in pain cos of my tummyache... i felt a sharp pain after eating breakfast... so pain that even when i go detox myself it painful... what's wrong with my stomach... =( so wanna go home... i miss my bed.. i couldn't get up for school today... i was like falling asleep even on the way to meet Diney... the tiredness was really unbearable... but i have to drag myself to school and go through school... can't skip school no more... only one module left to do that... and i'm keeping it for the last week and last day of school.... oh well... endure!!!!! =(

Ah Ling Jie Jie loves me... she got me a Blythe doll... blue haired wearing a kimono.... so pretty... i took a picture of her... she's my first... next would be the bigger one... the one that has lots of clothes and accessories to buy for her... the splurge.... hole in my pocket... =( but i still will do it... =D i'm such a spender... =X

time check: 1.46pm
it's still quite long before 3rd meeting starts... darn my classmate for requesting to start at 2.30pm... what am i gonna do till then??? oh ya... read my story book and sleep... =D and do some online window shopping? haha... i saw a pair of Monty Python Bedroom Slippers online... and it's so cute... it's a bunny rabbit with pointy teeth and your feet will be at the mouth so it seems like it chomping on your foot... damn adorable... but it's freaking 69bucks plus... i'm like stepping on 69bucks... =X anyway.. i didn't have the cash to get it anyway... so oh well... and i saaw Blythe dolls online too... but it's in yen... but very pretty... in fact the prettier ones were already bought by rich doll collectors... =( i also want one... *pouts* =D

this is the end... chao chao... bonjour!

2006-07-18T12:07:00.000+08:00

i'm tired.... i'm always tired... i'm forever tired... tired's getting into me every hour minute seconds...

i think i'm sick.. the tired sickness... is there a such thing? i don't wanna see the doctor... it's not worth it to go tell the doctor:"hi... i'm always feeling tired... can you prescribe something that would make me awake?" what if the doctor find out that i have some horrible illness? =S i hate the doctor's.... with the sickening medicine smell everywhere... yew.... =X

i'm finally back in school... i have lost all drive to come school... everyday i'm dragging myself to woodlands and falling asleep during meetings and breaks... to put it simply... i come school to sleep... not how fun is that.... haha.... and when i wake up i'm full of burps that refuse to come out... that's very uncomfortable...

now i'm still doing nothing... in fact... just woke up... haha... and i don't know what to do... so i'm here blogging... how's that for wanting to chiong for the rest of the remaining weeks... haha...

KL was good... i bought a few stuff under the expense of my parents... =D although things in KL are still quite expensive so not much could be bought... thailand's still shoppers' paradise... so many things to buy and everything's so cheap.... i love thailand... i wanna go there again... interested party please call me? =D

daddy bought me gameboy cartridge... weeeeee!!!!! and the games are mostly Super Mario!!!! hahaha... my favourite... i just love Mario games... it's so fun... and there's the other normal games... 160 in 1.... RM75 which is about 35 34 bucks? somewhere there... i think.... anyhow... i finally got games to play... the Urbz is nice... but i don't have the patience to complete it... haha... besides... i have no idea where Ah Ling Jie Jie put my cartridge already.... Mummt says she would buy me a better one... like Nitendo DS something about touchscreen thingy and WiFi stuff... that's cool... and i can play the GBA game in the Nitendo DS... now that's good deal... but it'll be awhile before i'll be given one...

i'm off already.... i need to do something... to make up for my sleeping...

chao chao... bonjour!

2006-07-13T15:52:00.000+08:00

I AM DISDUSTINGLY FAT AND UGLY!!!!!

and

I WANNA BE ZIZOU'S GOD DAUGHTER!!!!!

the mystery of the headbutt has been solved... i'm so happy for Zizou... now he's cleared for his insanity or some people would say... stupidity... all's well now...

i'm gonna get a puzzle...

chao... bonjour!

2006-07-10T13:52:00.000+08:00

it's the end of the world cup... and a very disappointing one indeed... france was playing so well.. then the complications started to come... first Ribery was off the field... then Henry was taken off... and both of them were replaced by Wiltord and some guy who tried to be Zidane... now... that wasn't the bad part... the worse thing that could ever happen... my darling Zizou got provoked and headbutted the italian player... now that really was very disappointing... he could have just bear with it... and he did... but because the italian guy went overboard... like prolly cursed his whole entire clan that made him pull such a stunt... and when it came to the penalty shootout... that stupid guy with the no.20 jersey just had to pull the stunt Zizou did during the first half penalty.... now how stupid can that guy get.... everyone knows that Zidane's Zidane... no one can score like that other than the man himself... oh man... this is fustrating to see such thing happen... and that's the last i see of my Zizou... i love him still... just know that never provoke the man... or he'll just headbutt you... I WANNA BE HIS GOD-DAUGHTER!!!!!!!! =D

lost chocolates to diney... oh well... but hey girl... you are currently unwell... you shouldn't be eating chocolates... lol... let me buy you fruits instead... lol... just kidding hon... =D

not in school today... will be later though... i've got freaking UT... and training... so if i go for UT i go for training... but i'm lazy to go for UT... but my dad's doing hourly check on me to make sure that i've got for UT.... well... exam to him actually... haha.... so i've got to go... and then i would have to go for training cos i've got 2 tennis players in my class... and if i don't go and tell them some reason... one of them would just give me a quizzical stare and i'm like "huh?" so yeah... to avoid all unnecessary stuff... just go train... besides... it's been a long time since i went... so yeah... i should prolly go if i wanna keep my CCA... =D

okay.... gotta go already... chao... bonjour....

2006-07-08T00:05:00.000+08:00

i managed to go through class giving cintributions and not nod off halfway today... that's an achievement... maybe coffee does help... and going to the library too... maybe that'll be my trend now for the next 6 weeks of school... darn!! it's 6 weeks... it's still very long... and UTs are jammed pack next week onwards... what brainless arrangements they have for our UTs...

it's been a year plus that i'm in RP and i'm still complaining about their system... oh man... this doesn't seem right... but then again... i'll never learn how to love school... it's just not my cup of tea... haha....

diney was so sick today that i was afraid that she'd collapse halfway... it's very worrying to see a rather good friend so sick and vulnerable... please stop your addiction darling... it's making you even worse... get well soon alright babe? thank god you made it home safely... =)

the finals are nearing and i can't wait... France's gonna make me so proud... Zidane's my hero... i have faith in them... now those that had said France wasn't going to make it are eating their own words already... who said that old teams are lousy teams? even brazil didn't even make it... so much of being the best... hahaha... okay... i'm biased... but hey... this would be the last world cup i'll be interested in already... cos Zidane's leaving after sunday's match... then it's not worth anymore... hopefully he gets the award for the Most Valued Player... he's nominated in it... and it'll be nice if they gave it to him after his last ever match... i'm gonna be sad that he's not gonna play anymore... sigh....

i've been skipping too much school lately... i've gotta stop... especially for applied chem... i got a freaking D+ for my UT... it totally sucks... all those mole calculation got me such horrible grades... i've got to buck up man... my GPA can't afford to plunge any lower... i'll be damned if it reached a 2.9... i'll prolly fall into depression and mug like shit till i'm lifeless... or maybe not... lol... but i'll definitely do something about it... hehe...

chao... bonne nuit!!

2006-07-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

spring cleaning today... my room's so neat now... and not dusty anymore... hurrays!! i spent the whole day cleaning up and rearranging some of the things in my room... not much arranging though... but a little is still done... next thing i'll be doing is paint my frames...

this saturday i'm going IKEA again with Mummy and Daddy... more storage thingies for me... i just love IKEA!!!! =)

i found my jewellery boxes already... yay!!! and i put it into my treasure chest this time... now it won't go missing the next time i wanna find it... =D

Daddy bought a new phone and he's exchanging it with me... it the phone that turns up... =)

pretty phone... he ordered it online... and he says he's got a very good deal... haha... and he's utterly satisfied with his good buy and patience for waiting for this deal...

3am... i'm gonna see Zizou again... =) then i'll him again this sunday... =) i can't wait...

Italy and Germany's match totally boring... i fell asleep watching... woke up during extra time.. and that was where the action was... hehe... Italy scored 2 goals at the last 2 mins of the game... how sweet is that... now the finals would be a fair play... oh yay... 3 more hours to go... no point sleeping now... coffee's gonna be my diet tomorrow... but it's all worth it... =)

chao people... bonne nuit!!

2006-07-04T12:45:00.000+08:00

HURRAYS!!!! FRANCE'S GONNA WIN THE WORLD CUP THIS YEAR!!!!
diney has become a bookie... the stakes? choco babies... money's not good to get involved with....

the past 2 days i've been nodding away... without fail... in class... from the moment class begins all the way to second break... there's seems to be a problem with me... and because i keep nodding off... i'm not doing anything... and when i'm not doing anything... my grades are gonna be bad... and when that happens... it sucks... talking about acedemic stuff... i got my FIRST A!!!!!! and for the most inexpected module... BIOCHEM!!!!!! =D i'm so proud of myself... how did i do it i'm seriously not sure... but i'm thankful for such results... cos that means it makes up for the horrible grades i get everyday... =D i'm so happy...

haven't gone training for a uber long time... 3 weeks of skipping... =X i feel so bad.. and scared... cos i don't wanna get kicked out... my coach has changed... it's the IVP coach now... the one that i heard ain't friendly and drills his students like hell... oh man... save me!!! but i've got to go still... for the exercise... and for the knowledge of learning tennis... =D

i've been doing lots of retail therapy recently... first was a IKEA... here's the list of things i bought:
1. Frames(2 in a pack) x 3
2. Blue giraffe x 1
3. Treasure chest storage box x 1
4. Rattan basket x 1
5. Scented Candles x 1
6. Candle holders x 1
7. Colourful boxes Packs of 3 x 1
8. Magnets(8 in a pack) x 2
9. Paint brushes(5 in a pack) x 1
that's probably about it... the total was 80 plus dollars... =X but everything that i bought is useful to me... cos i'm going to repack my whole entire room tomorrow... i realized that i'm living in a pig sty recently... and i felt an urge to do something about it to make me feel better... it's good exercise too... and at the same time find some things that i've lost or rather misplaced when i revamped my room...

then came last Saturday... was out with my cuzzie Jan... and here's what i bought again:
1. Mirror with cute poodle
2. T-shirts x 2
3. Voodoo doll(large) x 1
4. Voodoo doll(small) x 1
5. Stress pig(for ping) x 1
6. Pictures(photo machines) x 2

then just yesterday... i did manicure... pretty nails i do have now... =D i'm very contented with them... and the best thing is... it didn't get destroyed on the day i did it... =D how cool is that... keke... simply loving my nails now... although... it my nails were longer... i would be able to do even prettier ones...

today... i'm gonna do retail once more... FRANCE JERSEY!!!!!! for france!!!! hurrays... i'm gonna see them in the finals... i believe they would make it... =D they'll have their glory again... =D=D=D

place my bet with diney again...
1-0 Italy...
please make this game a fair game this time round... it'll be disappointing if the referee is bias towards the hosting team again... it's very fustrating to see that happen...

finals at my place or at a pub in clarke quay... still deciding... anybody wanna join us? please contact me... =D (invitation open to my people obviously...)

i need to go to the CC... i need to go yoga... Mummy's not gonna sponsor me for fencing... =( oh well... i learn it one day... maybe when i get a job... and have the money... i'll pay for my own fencing lessons... or even better... the uni has fencing... then i can join... oh yay... Mum asks why i don't join golf instead... but i told her golf's ain't interesting... it's not even exciting at all... and walking to wherever the ball lands is totally tiring... =D so maybe golf just ain't my cup of tea... tennis and fencing is still my top choices... =D

i'm off now... gotta try to contribute at least a little... =S
bon jour!

2006-06-29T01:50:00.000+08:00

i made a mistake and i feel bad about it...
i'm sorry...
i lost the trust and i know i deserve it..
i'm sorry...
i should have kept mum...
then there'll be no mistakes...
damn i'm sorry...

you know who you are...
i'm sorry friend...

2006-06-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

why is it that men don't cry when they're sad...
scream when they're mad...
or just show some kind of expression in front of women?
while the women would show all kinds of ways to express their unhappiness....
their joy...
their fustration...
and their stress....
is it that hard to be expressive?

the weekends wasn't very pleasant this week... and probably it won't be for the next few too... it's scary to be caught in the middle of a war... it's very confusing what to do to make things not erupt.. every step taken is very cautious... suddenly i miss ah ling jie jie... cos she does know how to make this kinda situation better... hopefully this would end soon... or i'll just run...

i've got anatomy UT later in the day... i'm not in any mood to study for it... i'm hating anatomy more and more... i hate the fac... she's really driving me crazy... does she hates me so much? what did i do to her from day 1? argh!!!! she sucks.. spoils my day all the time... sigh... thank god 8 more weeks and i'll never see her again...

i've got to make a trip to the CC soon... yoga lessons for me... exercise... till now... i haven't found a place that has french lessons... language schools are expensive... but CCs don't have language classes... is it worth it to pay so much for a language that i would rarely use? hmmmm....

pay's coming!!!! yay... finally the pantene people are gonna pay me... sabby will have money soon... i'll have money soon... ah ling jie jie and lloyd will have their money too... YAY!!!

Coco almost got lost today... at that point of time... i was really afraid we were gonna lose him... and the thought of it was scary... imagine if we didn't realized he's gone... he'll be stuck in the drain for days and worse more than a week... then he'll be hungry and thirsty and lost... we'll be worried sick too... if we had search longer and couldn't find him.. i would have probably cry... can i make a police report if pets goes missing? do you think the police would help owners find lost dogs or kidnapped cats? do kidnappers kidnap pets and ask for a ransom? hmmm... i'm just glad Coco didn't get lost after all or get kidnapped... he's so old already... the poor old man can barely see especially at night... nobody would be that bad enouogh to kidnap a poor old dog eh? whatever it is... Coco's back... and that's all that matters... he shan't have to experience that again... i'll make sure... =D

going to IKEA to buy frames and some decorative stuff to make my room to more livelier... especially the walls... i've got a dull room... hmmmm.... and messy... maybe i'm gonna re organize my stuff in my room on days of nothing... and maybe find some long lost things... hehe... that'll be like treasure hunting... LOL

i should try to sleep soon already... or else my grades will plunge again... tata... bonne nuit!

*FRANCE'S IN SECOND ROUND!!! TOLD YOU SO!!!*

[i MuSt sMiLe tHoUgH i'M sUfFoCaTiNg iNsiDe]

2006-06-22T22:44:00.000+08:00

i've finally got down to changing my blog skin... it's another happy skin... happy people with happy skin... sad people all the more should have happy skin... angry people should have peaceful skin... peaceful people should have exciting skin... okay... this is so random... keke...tudy

school's a total bore today... exceptionally boring in fact... i kept drifting away... far far away from where i'm suppose to me... i'm losing my focus here... i wasn't in the mood for anything today... just felt like going home the whole damn day... but i couldn't leave my team mate alone in the team... but at the end of the day... i regretted not leaving... i didn't do a shit thing at all... i know i deserve the D that'll be coming... or maybe even an E... =X my school work's so screw up... damn i need a break... i wanna break away from all these stress... i've got a UT tomorrow... and i'm not even considering studying for awhile... cos i know nothing's going into my head... i'm not in the mood for any of that... got to study before the test tomorrow i suppose... another last minute hard work... how am i gonna survive next time in other schools... i'll probably end up as a drop out... sigh... i'm feeling so low about myself now... at the rate i'm going... i'm gonna be the worst student ever... gosh... there's goes psychology then... my GPA's gonna be like shit... *faints*

i'm gonna work... and hopefully i do get the job... i need the job... being broke is just so not good... there's so many things i wanna get... but due to limited funds... i can forget about it... haha... yesterday i made good deals in my shopping... 30 bucks for 1 set of clothes.. not bad eh... i'm liking the T-shirts from that cart now... it's in cineleisure if you're wondering... there have really nice shirts there... and the prices are rather reasonable... the boss of the cart is also nice... she's willing to give me a discount... =D do patronize there... nice bosses of carts should get reccomendations... =D that would be my favourite shop from now on till it shifts... did more tee shopping from Heerens... Queen's Couture... they have nice tees too... but it's rather ex... but still nice... and i bought myself one... i might go back there for the cookie monster tee... maybe i'll get oscar instead... they are both my favourite sesame street peeps... so either one would do... =D wait till i get the money...

the pantene promo job still owes me money... that's very irritating... I WANT MY MONEY!!!!!! sigh... they are refusing to pay... and i feel bad for not being able to get it... cos Sabby would then not get her money too... sigh... so we both have worked for nothing... i think i'm gonna get the no. from that stupid company and demand my pay, ah ling jie jie's pay, lloyd's pay and sabby's pay... now that's alot of pay... damn those kinda of company that doesn't pay their employees... they ought to just close down and run out of business once they pay us back... stupid arses...

i'm finally going to buy frames and magnets... i find my room wall's too plain... i need to do something about it... that's why i'm gonna buy frames... print photos... and hang them on my wall... i don't think they'll fall when i'm asleep... nails don't come out easily ya... got to ask my dad if my wall is safe to nail though.. or else if i accidentally nail into a pipe then i'm screwed... hehe...

okay... i'm wasting my time here already... i'm gonna scram... adios... bonne nuit!!

LoNg LoNg dAy.......

2006-06-19T13:41:00.000+08:00

i'm blogging again... i'm bored at school... there's nothing to do anymore... i'm having stats... and that sucks... i've decided to change my blog skin... is it nice? i'm suddenly bored of the pink... too girlie already... suddenly i feel like having something more serious... i wanna learn how to make my own skin... will anyone teach me? i wanna have my own design... but i guess for the time being i'll have to make do with custom made ones...

France almost made my day today... but the Koreans got lucky and ended up with a draw... i just can't believe it... how can they be so darn lucky... Zidane's not going to play in the next match against Togo... damn... all because of the yellow cards... the first was so unnecessary.... the referee was just being a pest... argh!!!!! not he'll be on bench... and France loses a good player... Henry better do France proud... or i'll chop him... okay.. maybe i can't chop him... but the other French will...

i'm having my 3rd cup coffee today... desperately needing to be awake in class... i'm gonna seriously have a detox session soon if i continue with my coffee... with the world cup on and France still in the game... i'm gonna have to have coffee for the next few weeks to come... and bad eye bags.. although it doesn't make any difference since my eye bags are already that bad...darker wouldn't make any difference... =D

i'm a little worried about my labby screen... it's being pressed by something and refusing to get better... i hope i don't have to change the screen... it'll cost me a bomb... especially since my warantee is over... damn... labby been sick lately... first was the motherboard... now the screen... product life is kinda short eh... i've been extra careful already... but why still like that... sigh... labby please be well again... don't go cranky... i'm depending on you for my grades... =D

time to have a change of blog skin... tell me if it's nice.. =D

bon jour!

WiLL FrAncE RuLe mY mOrNiNg?

2006-06-19T00:35:00.000+08:00

it's 12.34 now... i'm suppose to get some sleep before the match... but i can't sleep... darn... i'll look like shit on the first day of school... why can't i hav tan skin????? then eye bags won't show... sigh... but it's all worth it... i'm gonna see my Zizou... =D i'm happy watching him... keke... but please let france score a goal... let the koreans just die in that match.... they got to win... if not it'll be damn disappointing... so yea... GO FRANCE GO FRANCE!!!! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!

it's the end of my holidays already... this totally sucks... i'm broke and have not enjoyed enough... i wanna get my france jersey... but it's so freaking expensive... is $109 expensive for a jersey? i think it is.. i'm not too sure about that... but it's like so nice to hav one... then i can go to the printing shop and ask them to put zidane's no. plus name down... then it'll be his jersey!!! hurrays... my sisters and parents would sure kill me if they know i'm gonna spend so much again... but hey... world of sports is having sales... maybe i can get a discount there... then it won't be that expensive anymore... but first thing first... i need to have the money... which i currently won't have unless i starve for 2 or 3 weeks... then i can get it... by then i think it might be gone or worse... sold out... =( but i can't rush into getting it... i don't have the cash... darn it's not nice to be a princess... will someone turn me into one please? where's my fairy godmother? where's my sponsor... hahaha.... okay... enough crap... lose weight and get my jersey.. =D hurrays... wonderful diet plan... a meal a day... i can do that... it's all for the best... stress... come to me... i need you badly... =D RP should have big exams... then i'll get so stressed i won't eat... then i won't be fat... then i won't have my mum keep saying i'm too fat... then i won't be little miss huge... then my sisters won't be able to make fun of my stupid weight... ahhhh.... then i'll feel peace... then i won't be so depressed... then i'm a happier me... haha... i love planning like that... but i don't think it'll ever happen... they'll still make fun... they'll still say i'm fat... they'll still complain... i'll still be broke... stress'll never come.. i'll still be fat... still be little miss huge... still be ugly and fat... oh. well... that's my life... i've got to live it... =D good thing is... i'm never depressed... i don't know how to be depressed... depression is just hard for me... i'll still be happy... no matter what... even when the worst things happen... i don't know why... but depress just seems foreign... =D happy girl!!! =D

okay... i'm gonna catch some snooze already... it's almost 1... i've still got 2 hours of rest before my match and before i go bonkers... bonne nuit!!!

Zizou... My Love...

2006-06-15T00:19:00.000+08:00

Zidane... my idol of all times... though i am no soccer fan... but he's the one that makes me wanna watch the match no matter how boring it is... my attraction to the whole game... the only reason why i would sit through 90 mins of the game plus it's half time... do the maths yourself... =D don't he just have that nice smile... too bad he's married... he's only 31... too bad i'm too young... so many too bads... sighsigh... my french guy... please bring glory again... don't let the swiss or koreans or tongans or brazilians or english or argentineans or mexicans or spanish or italians bring you down... you can do it... kill Henry please for always missing good passes that you gave and opportunities that you gave to have a score... Henry should just die... =D i don't know why i like this man so much... hahaha... the first time i saw him was when he was playing the France 98... and i immediately like him so much... he's good... my sister says so... but 4 years ago's match was really really disappointing... but nevertheless... i still i like... he's captain of the national team... and he's my captain... but i'll still never like soccer... he's just an exception... tennis guys are still hot and more handsome... Zidane's just an exception... he's one of those that is on the good looking side.. France will win south korea... top their group table... and play in the finals with brazil... i cross my fingers for that to happen... i'm praying hard that they do not fall... =D

my holidays are ending soon... that's very devastating... it's back to school and facing those stupid facs and those competitive classmates of mine... the only reason why i'm able to sustain my grade is because of my UTs... but even that won't help me for long... i'm getting tired of this school... it's making me so sick of studying.. isn't poly suppose to be a much enjoyable environment to study in? why am i not feeling so?? argh... stupid school with their stupid system and stupid facs putting me together with stupid competitive people... just kill me!!!!!

i'm broke... so flat broke... i need a job but can't get one... i need my pay but the company's pushing the respondsibility to transfer the pay here and there... i want zidane's jersey but i can't find one and too broke to get one... i need to lose weight but apparently no matter how much i exercise and stop eating and go to my trainings... i'm not losing it!!!! okay... so my life's screwed up... pathetic isn't it... on the bright side i'm getting a new phone... that's not too bad isn't it? hehe... i get something i want for a change finally... i need to change my Mp3 cos it's spoilt and i need it for my daily travel... but i can't cos my dad doesn't approve... luckily the phone is a Mp3 itself...

there's so many things that i want... and i say i need them... but sometimes i wonder... are they really a need... maybe i do need to change my spending habit for a change... or else i'll always be too broke for anything... and then i won't be able to pamper myself when it's time to... like occassionally buying something as a reward for achieving something... or getting my parents or sisters something good... like i wanna get myself a zidane jersey as a once in a while reward thing... but i'm too penniless to do that... i wanna treat my Anna to a lunch buffet... but i can't do that... all because i've overspent... now how great is that... just fabulous...

is my dream of being a psychologist very impossible? does every shrink necessarily need a shrink... then what about the shrink of the shrink? will he get a shrink too? then who's the ultimate shrink of them all to be able to shrink without another shrink?? i've never been so determined about one occupation before... and psychology made me very very interested... where that attraction came from i have no idea actually... i guess i do think alot about things... maybe some people think it's funny to think deeper into things even when it's unnecessary... but maybe that's what separates a shrink and a patient... the patient can't think deep enough to help himself so decided to get someone who can do help them... does that make any sense? sigh... doesn't matter what others think i guess... at least i have a dream... and a career in mind... and a goal to look forward to acheiving... i will be a shrink that doesn't need a shrink... i'll prove that stereotype wrong... i'll do my PP on a psychologist.... and ask them that question... and then prove to everybody that that kinda stereotype is so shallow of them... =D

i think i should take up french lessons... haha... i like french... but i know i'll never get to use it... or rather... it'll be rare that i'll use it... but i still wanna learn french... i wonder if class would be expensive... french is sophisticated... hehe... anybody wanna join me in learning french? hehe... okay... enough said.. i've got training at 10 later... luckily there isn't any match that i'm interested in today... i can sleep early...

toodles everybody... I LOVE ZIDANE!!!! haha... i don't know what's that for... but oh well... =D NIGHT PEOPLE!!! bonne nuit! =D

mOnEy fRiEnDs HoLiDaYs

2006-06-01T11:23:00.000+08:00

it's the second last day of school and i'm so not in the mood to do anything for the whole week... bad results are coming my way... and the suckiest thing... i've got UT on the last day of school... what kind of shit is that man... sigh... so much of happy school... =((

it's very sad what money can do to friendships... it's always spoils the relationship between people... i've got a friend like that once and now i think i'm having it again... i don't know why is it that some people could actually not want to pay me back and even insist on me going somewhere else and paying for the ticket for me when i'm not interested... and after rejection what happens? i'm blocked away and kept at bay... just because of some small amount of money that may not seem important to her but important to me... maybe she thinks that she's the only one that has money problems but sometimes maybe she should think again... what's so difficult of just paying me back my money when she's actually making some from selling her dumb tickets... sigh... i guess that's just how some people are... it's rather disappointing to know that i again have met such people and treated her as one of my good friends... i didn't wanna rush her... but i think there's always a limit... can't she just be automatic abit... sigh sigh...

the hols are coming and i can't wait... i'll finally be able to execute my swimming plan which i have been saying at the start of school... haha... i'll be able to get my sufficient sleep too... on the bad side... i won't be able to enjoy the GSS that's happening... all because i'm too broke... flat flat broke... even after ping returns me money... i've got pay that hasn't come in... debts that hasn't be collected... concessions that has to be paid... and total cut off of income for the next 2 weeks... imagine if the hols were longer... i think i'll probably die... i'll have to hunt for jobs and chances are i won't get any... =X

i'm gonna learn baking during the next 2 weeks... lol... cook whatever cakes that'll taste good and easy to do... =D the only problem is... i don't have the ingredients... haha... shall get mummy to buy for me... so that i've got things to do at home and then i won't want to go out and spend money... great saving plan eh... anybody wanna be my partner or have good recipes... feel free to tell me... haha... then i'll bake them for you... keke... =D happy baker!!!

chao!!

mOnEy & FuN

2006-05-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

the past 2 days have been spent promoting Pantene's lastest product and earning 8 bucks an hour... it's not exactly a bad deal... my sister got that job for me... and i'm thankful to her for that... =D now i've got more extra money to spent... hehe... and that means i'll be able to of course treat my mum to her mother's day treat coming wednesday...

it's chaotic for the past 2 days during the promotion... a real mess... but i did have fun there and got good deals... MY HAIR'S GONNA BE RED!!!! RED!!!! hahahaha... been waiting so long for my red hair... and it's finally here... hehe... i'll dye it soon... when i have the time... =D and hamstie needs to change his bedding already... tomorrow i've got to get down to it... or else hamstie will faint in filth... who wouldn't...

Sabby joined me in y second day of my promoter job... which is today... =D i guess we had fun there... promoting to the aunties who are very very VERY cheapskate... probably all singaporeans are... but seriously... some of them are so cheapskate that they actually went to find out the actual price of the free gifts and see if it's all worth it... -.-''''''' there's even one who doubt the free gifts and even suspect that we are giving away expired products... why would we right? i don't think the company's that stingy till they do that kinda thing... it's not like the products that are given away for free are lousy ones... there's like hair dyes from wella which are pretty expensive... skin care products from olay which are equally expensive... and pantene products... and the cheapest of all was the Pringles which still was worth at least 2 bucks plus... i was thoroughly irritated by those who kept asking if we could give them more than one gift when they only bought 1 small bottle of shampoo... can't believe their cheapskate-ness...

anyway... i think Sabby has some affinity with other promoter aunties.. hehe... she attracted many at 2 locations and they brought their whole cohoot of prmoters to but our products... haha.. at toa payoh the auntie promoters even helped us to promote too... LOL... interesting... hehe.... i had many photos taken of the whole event... but sadly i couldn't bring home any of them... but at least i still had fun... =D

i would very much like to show you peeps the pictures i took when i went tanning with the babes 2 wednesdays ago... however... bloggie doesn't seem to want it published... prolly cos of my huge lumps of fats... i'm not very proud of it... and really want to lose them... but no matter how i strave myself... i can't seem to lose them... anyone has tips on losing weight... i need to be stressed!!! sigh...

buenas noches everybody... =D

uTtErLy bOrEd iNsiDe oUt

2006-05-02T15:02:00.000+08:00

it's third meeting now and i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooo to ifnity bored... schools a bore and class is even more of a bore... my grades are bad... my class is bad... everything's so bad around here... argh.... i'm so depressed with myself now... and i'm sooooo sleepy... practically everytime in school i fall asleep... i've just woke up from my sleep and decided to be here blogging...

i woke up sooo late today that i freak out and did everything in a rush... luckily for me i brought everything i needed except spare batteries for my MP3... i had to run for all my buses and stand in all the way from tampines to yishun... but still toturous cos i didn't get to sleep my way through... i'm damn freaking tired... luckily today's UT was just a mock one... or else i'm screwed... this thursday i've got to be early... even if it means that i have to take the first bus... i've got no choice... cos i have UT that day... sigh... school's so tough now... i've got to head for the books tonight and tmorrow to be prepared for my biochem UT this thursday... ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! i need HELP!!!! BADLY!!!!

i just finish my presentation... and obviously... it didn't go well... i'm losing it... sigh... this sucks... why did i end up in such a competitive course with competitive classmates... sigh... i've got to STUDY!!!! got to go to the library and start making notes and studying and do well... motivation MOTIVATION!!!!!!!

okay... i'm sick of this all already... i want my As!!!!

adios todo el mundo!!!

FaT aRsE eNtRy

2006-05-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

happy labour day everybody!!!!!!!!!

and also it's my sister's birthday... soo...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH LING JIE JIE!!!!

my long weekend is over just like that and i'm utterly broke... a good way to diet though... but my pay's coming in on the 7th of May.. which is this sunday of next monday... YIPPEEEE!!!! a few hundred bucks means alot now... i'm gonna buy a new cage for Hamstie... his current one is all rusty and look hazardous to me...

hamster cages are so expensive now... and there's so many things i need to get for Hamstie... and i just realized that today... i need to get a cage... a new water bottle... a sleeping area... snacks... and toys... and all of them are so expensive.... very very very VERY expensive... but i have to get them... they are after all necessities cos Hamstie needs them... and he is after all my baobei... he deserves the best... cos i love Hamstie... =D

i've got a job... but i didn't tell my parents... i intend to keep it a secret... but i think it's gonna be kinda hard... cos every sunday i would not be free and won't be joining them for dinner... and that would be bad ain't it? sigh... but i don't know how to tell them that i've got a weekend job... they'll probably object to it... but they don't know that i do need to get some extra cash sometimes to suvive... cos my pocket just ain't enough at the rate that i mostly spent all 3 meals outside... i can't even pay for my concession now... which they actually have transferred 100 bucks to my account... but i ate into it... and now i'm screwed... =X that's the trouble... they always transfer the money in a month before the concession expires and then claim they have given me the money without me knowing so that i'll eat into the given money and make me screwed for the whole week with expensive bus fares... total madness i must say... i start work this wednesday... they pay is low... it's 5 bucks per hour... but at least the job ain't gonna be boring and not much things to do.. cos cashiering ain't that tough or is it? i mean how hard can it be? it's just about taking money... giving money... serving tea... giving magazines and the rest of the day just stone and do my own things... sounds like a relaxing job eh.... i'm keeping my fingers crossed for that....

Joyce darling left for aussie on saturday morning... i couldn't wake up... and so her pressie wasn't given to her... i feel so fustrated with myself for not being able to wake up in time to give it to her... she called when she was in the DFS area... i don't know what you call that... i forgot... anyway... she called me while she's there to bid me goodbye... and told me that i can give her the pressie the next time she comes back... but it would not be the same at all... i told her that... but she said it was okay... but i felt otherwise... i wrote a note for her inside... and it just felt right for her to open it and read at that point of time instead of waiting for the next time she's back and leaving again... sigh... i guess the next time round i should give it to her before she leaves...

i got to lose my fats and flabs... ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no more skipping of tranings... no more snacking... eat less... and no more sweets for me from now on... and no one and nothing shall tempt me... i'm very determined to lose those fats already... cos i'm sick of being Little Miss Huge... i wanna be Little Miss Slim... not huge... huge is disgusting... by september i'm gonna be what i were after my O's... skinny... i read in SHAPE magazine tips for losing weight... and the first step... to list 10 reasons why i must lose IT... so here are they...
#1 to fit into more clothes...
#2 to look good in more clothes...
#3 to make me feel better about my weight...
#4 to allow me to eat with more peace...
#5 to be a bikini babe... =D
#6 to stop being the fat arse in the family...
#7 to stop wearing baggy clothes...
#8 to get rid of my double chin... (it's always there)
#9 to stop being HUGE
#10 to be able to stop thinking about eating Xando or Extrim pills...
bottom line... JUST LOSE THOSE FLABS FAT ARSE!!!
and the ways to lose achive those reasons?
#1 exercise.. meaning... go to all trainings and jog everytime possible...
#2 stop the snacking... never touch the food on the coffee table and in the freezer and the fridge...
#3 only eat fruits... drink fruit juices...
#4 eat less... eat till 3/4 full...
#5 give up sweets... bye bye slurpee lollipops and chocolates and anythin sweet...
#6 no fried food...
#7 1 meal/day...
#8 go for buffets only once every 3 months...
#9 swim whenever i can...
#10 STRESS MYSELF UP!!!
that's my plan... and i do have to strictly follow them... sooo... i've wrote it down in my notebook to remind me... =D wish me best of luck to reach my target weight... Little Miss Huge's Operation Lose IT!!! commences from 2nd of May... please await to see the new Little Miss Slim in 4 months' time... I CAN DO IT!!!!!

buenas noches...

HoPeLeSs iN sChOoL

2006-04-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

been awhile since i stepped in... and one week of my school's gone... and the sad thing is... it's was only the first week that's gone... which means... why is freaking school taking such a long time to pass?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! *SIGH* school's getting more and more of a drag and to think that i already found year 1 boring and having a class that sucks... seems like i'm fated to have a bunch of boring mates for the rest of the years in RP... *ANOTHER BIG SIGH*

diney was horrid last friday... she did a thing which she's not supposed to... yup yup... she exchanged her pao for a new pao... hmmmmmmm.... and the best part of it all... the whole gang(implying me jenni sabby and ping) were all implicated... here's the crime details...

it's was about 9 plus 10... location... 7eleven... me jenni and sabby were off for our usual break at 7-eleven in the morning... we had pao... diney couldn't make it to join us however she had asked us to buy a mock char siew pao for her and to deliver it to her class or rather hold it on for her till the next break...

as you know... the class is cold... and so heat would be lost and coldness start coming in... and that's what happened to the pao... that's part I... so here's where the crime starts to commence itself...

sabby had to pass diney her pao during 2nd break... and on seeing that her pao was cold and hard... she didn't like it... and set her heart to change her cold hard pao for a brand new one... here's the funny part...

as we enetered 7-eleven... looking guilty of changing paos which in the end didn't end up in diney's mouth but her boyfriend's... we were on the lookout for the people working in the shop so that we weren't caught... little did we know that there was already one that just prolly a meter away from us... and obviously we all... even jenni who had stationed herself in front of the camera TV to keep a lookout had overlooked the only one that was sooo close to us... we were oblivious of her presence the whole while that when we realized that she was actually one all the time... we just started bursting out loudly... uncontrollably too... lol....

and that was the whole incident of the girls and a pao... moral of the story... try not to eat the pao in RP 7-eleven... you'll never know if it was 2nd hand... =D

i just pierced my 2nd hole in my ear... and the prcess of it was a nervous one.. i squeezed my darling Tashie's hand till it was all red and full of my hand marks... hahaha... sorry baby... didn't mean to cost hurt... cos i'm just scared... hahha... love you still... =D

i may wanna tattoo or do another piercing... but haven't made up my mind... cos tattooing is even more painful then piercing... it's a million times more pain... *owwwwww* so i don't think i would like that... but then again... i might want it but prolly when i've gather enough courage... =D

was out with my darlings yesterday... though it may be for a short while... it was still enjoyable... and an embarassing thing happened to me.. yet they helped me... that's why i love those girls to bits... hahaha... tomorrow it's another outing with them... hopefully i wouldn't be too tired out tomorrow after school to enjoy... that would totally sucks....

darling Joyce is leaving soon... i have yet to get the book i wanna get for her... got to get done to it before she leaves... maybe i'll pop by eastpoint today after school to get it for her so that i can pass it to her tomorrow... i need a reminder... but my brain so not functioning noormally these few days.. brain dead... too much slurpee too much brain freeze? maybe.. mentally tired... *sigh*

the 1st team's presenting now and i'm blogging away... oops... gonna stop here now then.. chao people... tag boards needs talking... do leave some of your words of wisdom behind when you people pop by... =D

hApPy DaY!!!!!!

2006-04-11T00:24:00.000+08:00

i'm a week away from school... 3 days away from being jobless and 4 days away from seeing my darling Joyce again... this is a mixture of sadness... dreadfulness... happiness and elationness (if that's such a word...)

a whole new class to begin with... a whole new school to get lost in... a whole new ulu place to be bored with... that's what school's gonna be like... far from the people who made life in RP not so miserable... where's Ping gonna get hidden in? where's diney gonna run off to? where's Sabby gonna disappear to? where's Jaff gonna crap off to? where's Tan Tan gonna be loud speaker to? ahhhh.... the class of my first part of year 1's gonna be disperse everywhere... none not near to me... will we still meet up and relieve those days? =D

being jobless sometimes seems good yet bad all the same... i don't know how should i feel about that... i'm very happy that i'm leaving that dreaded place at last with it's endless workload... irritating sissified unreasonable boss... yet a little sad that there goes my big money plus some funny people... except that stupid rolly polly Betty... i just hate her to bits... just wanna strangle her and hang her by the toe everyday i see her more... but that's besides the point...

my mum asked me if i would ever go back there to work... and i told her never... and even if i really really really really had no choice and went back there... i would never ever ever ever ever go back to that stupid department or anything close to that again... the next thing i wanna work as is a sales girl working in a pet shop.. not pet lovers' centre or pet safari of that sort... just some simple pet shop that has a few animals... does grooming services and bathing services... that's the kinda pet shop i'm talking about... i think i'll enjoy working there more... cos firstly... i LOVE these animals... secondly... it's more interesting... thirdly... i might be able to get a guinea pig... and lastly... i'll be able to learn new stuff about looking after pets and have good tips on them... =D sounds like a nice job... yet... where do i find this kinda job... normally this kind wouldn't need much people... sometimes just 2 people tending the shop is enough... sigh... would somebody help me find that kinda of job pretty please...........

i snipped of my hair... from a long hair that's braline length to just a luttle over the shoulder length... it's really really really short... hahaha... but i like it... cos it's not ccurly like last time... i did a thing called relaxer... something like rebond yet not rebond... it makes people's hair look natural yet not tooo wavy at the same time... and the best thing about it is that it's a whole lot cheaper than rebonding... and i'm very satisfied with the outcome now... just hopes it stays that way for a long long time... maybe i should do relaxer from now on... saves me quite a lot of money... next thing on my list is to dye my hair red... only trouble is i'm afraid that once i dyed my hair... the effect of the relaxer would be gone... =( now that would be bad... i'll probably go ask that hairstylist who did my hair about it... she's a nice person... and she picks the hairstyle that suits your face.. that's why i didn't look funny in my hair now... =D that i have to thank William, my big sis's boyfriend for the ood reccomendation... may be a wee bit costly... but i guess it was all worth it... =D

my eyes are shutting already... i'm gonna doze off soon... i'll stop here for now and blog another time... my hair's not dry yet though... oh well...

adios... buenas noches.... =D

FiRsT pOsT oF tHe MoNtH

2006-04-05T22:46:00.000+08:00

it's ages since i have entered here to blog... i guess my thought of me having more entries since it's the holidays was wrong... in fact... it got lesser...

been very very veyr busy these days... everything's about work and meetings and more work and more meetings... no life at all... on weekends... i spent it on just sleeping... sleep my days away... and that's how my precious holidays are going to end... =( on the brighter side though... pay day's only 48 hours away from me... uh-huh!!!! that's the time to release the long awaited shopping diva in me!!!!! =D but it's all hard earned money that somehow i might not have the heart to spend so much aftetr all...

bad news for awhile... my darling fish, Fishie... he has passed on... unfortunately... i don't know why he left me like that... but oh well... i guess it was just the time for him... many may think i must have ill-treated the poor bugger... but truth be told... I DIDN'T!!!! he just died like that... =( on a lighter note... I'M GONNA INVEST IN A GUINEA PIG!!! yup yup... a giant version of my hamster... how nice is that??? hehe... and he won't die that fast.... and he can share food with Hamstie... and he shares the same bedding as Hamstie... and he will have the same running ball as Hamstie... yay!!!

work's getting tougher and tougher... i hate that fat lumpy woman( no offence to fat people... don't worry... i only hate the one at work... i'm part of the fat people club too...) she's pissing the shit out of me... she's overloading and overworking me and Janice!!!! ARGH!!!!! bloody fat arse!!!! i wish Belinda recovers from her pox soon... then work won't be 2 times more dreadful than before... i'm going nuts there and grumpier ever at work... ssomehow i'm starting to snap at people who talks to me after 6.30pm in the office... this is total madness i tell you... pay day's coming... and i won't let that fat arse ruined that day for me... i'm gonna leave that awful dreaded place happily and thankfully...

Janice thinks she likes Ryan... but is she really serious about what she says? i wonder... how didshe ended up liking him... he's such a monotone ah beng... i told her she'll get over it after we officially leaves the office... but seriously... he has a girlfriend and totally look like an ah beng... which is definitely not her type... so why? haha... it's kinda funny... i even thought that she would actually like Rui(i think that's how it's spelt... or maybe not... whatever... it's pronounced that way...) he's more the kind of guy she'll like judging from how she picked out a cute guy from the whole office... haha... Rui's the mumbler... he really membles till you cn't make out what the hell he's trying to say... but probably that's what made him cute... i don't know... i suppose i need to find some cuteness in everyone in the office to make work more enjoyable i guess... and here's what i came up with...
1. PohLeng: the mumbler... the one with the most gossips... and does a funny sound of blowing with her nose even if there's nothing there...

2. Darryl: the outgoing one.. the one who shares the same sentiments about our boss... the one that talks to me the most... and does funny expressions when he's reading his mails...

3. Rui: the mumbler too... walks funnily... life seems dead to him... Darryl's very very good friend... comes early and leaves early...

4. Ryan: the Ah Beng... monotone... can be funny... but only recently... have no idea why... the one Janice seems to think she has a crush on...

5. Betty: the irritating lump of fats that feeds on her own fats... the contract tearing woman... the most irritating of the whole department... most hated by me and Janice...

6. Clarence: the one that can't be bothered anymore... the serious one... the one that would be leaving on the same day as us...

7. Brian: the bo-chap one... assistant HOD... funny at times... getting married to a teacher that looks very alike to Fish Leong a.k.a Liang Jing Ru...

8. Lai Hock: the ultimate irritant... the HOD... my boss... the one who complains to my mum about me so that i'll go work... the one that eats non-stop...

9. Belinda: the mother of many temps... M.I.A... the one that's doing the jobs that me and Jan have to cover for her now... COME BACK QUICK!!!!

now there's about all the there is in my department... that's how small my department is... and that's pretty much what they are...

Janice said i'm like Sid... the one that keeps singing out of nothing... and the one that tlks non-stop... am i really much like him? haha... but he's kinda cute ain't he? haha... so i guess she's saying i'm cute... haha...

i'm gonna head for my comfy bed already... long day ahead... =( good night everybody... adios...

LoOk aLiKeS..

2006-03-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

it's interesting to see people that really look like people we know... i have come acrossed many... for example... vanessa's boyfriend look very very very in fact... scarily identical to Vincent... it's really freaking... the way he smile... and the way he just look like that it's freakingly idetical to him... is it possible to really have your identical half out there on the same planet?? the other day... i came across an I/C that look exactly like my friend... and it's really funny... especially since that picture was taken when that client's in NS... and my friend happens to be in NCC... and there's another time... another client looked like my anna when she first came to singapore... lol... it was really funny... there probably many other identical people that we don't know of... our unknown twins? would there be such things? it seemed to have happened... it' scary... yet pretty interesting... how can there be someone that look exactly like you yet not connected to you at all... there definitely have to be the genes connected but yet it's different people from different prarentage yet almost identical genes to make 2 strangers look so alike... would there be a study for this one day? that'll be fun... =D

enough about this creepily interesting stuff... it's the 2nd week of work and i can't take it any longer... i'm going crazy at work because of boredom... it has been countless times that i fell asleep on my job and my colleague even had to offer sour plum to me cos she says it keeps people awake... i have tried various ways to try to keep awake at work... there was the music... sweets... sour plum... and even sour lemonade... yet none of them worked... this is the first job ever that had put me to sleep everytime i'm at work without fail... you get the picture... it's a TOTAL BORE!!!! even with Janice around... i still fall asleep... cos she's sooo far away from me... and it's impossible to talk to her cos she can't go online... so i'm left alone drifting off to sleep... 4 more weeks of this kinda rubbish before it's back to school... both puts me to sleep... argh!!! but i guess school would be more interesting that at work... cos at least if i'm bored... there'll be people around to do some entertainment... =D i must love school... just to get me through another 2 years.... ENDURE is the word...

this holiday is another busy one for me... what with work... appointments.. meetings... outings... trainings... and what have you... it's really a hectic one.. but yet it's rather satisfying... maybe cos i'm doing something instead of staying home and get fatter... at least i'm exercising... and getting myself out of the house and earn some extra cash... =D the thought of the pay is just so contenting... considering that i am doing OT almost everyday... it would cover up all the leaves and half days i took... and probably fetch me even more... =D ahhhhh.... i love that thought... hopefully it is right... =)

i need a swim... i wanna go swim... i think i will go for a swim... a night swim... so that i won't get burnt... trainings have already made me so red that my face looks like a tomato... it is so red... why i choose the tomato instead of an apple? cos my face is red and soft with fats just like a tomato... red and fat and soft... sigh... somehow... i can never get rid of those fats on my face... is there a face exercise that helps face lose weight too? i don't wanna be a rolly polly... it's horrible... very very very horrible although... rolly polly sounds like something cute... whatever... just lose those fats... =D

i'm giving second thoughts about shopping and just use the money to get myself a Nano and probably a new hairstyle instead of buying bags... clothes... accessories... jackets... would that be a better investment? i can't really decide...

Creative sales is here and they are selling web cams at very very very very cheap prices... just 19 bucks.... that's super cheap... but i'm lazy to go all the way to jurong east just for the sale... cos after the sale... there isn't much place to go... then i would have to take a long train ride back home and out... the price is very tempting though... i wonder if anyone i know would go to the sale... maybe they'll be kind enough to help me buy instead... then it would save me the trouble of going all the way down... =D i shall ask all possible candidates... lol...

it's time for me to go... a long day awaits me again tomorrow... fingers cross that i won't get knocked out and break the record for once... =D

sTaRt oF tHe HoLiDaYs... tHe bEgiNniNg oF bEiNg cLoSeR tO sHoPpiNg SpReE...

2006-03-06T22:53:00.000+08:00

today's the first day of work in my mum's company... it sucks... it totally bores the shits out of me... it's killing me... and there's no one to talk to there... there's a generation gap around... sigh... Janice ought to come in as early as possible... then i won't be so bored... i have someone to talk to... the feeling of not being able to talk was killing me... i needed to burst into a series of rapid talking... i need my JOYCE!!!!! hahaha...

talking about her... my baby called me yesterday... i was over the top when she said she wanna call me... hahaha... i was finally able to talk to her and have non-stop babbling about how life sucks... and school... and guys... and what have you... it's like a release of lots of things that's been inside for centuries... hahahaha.... and we really talked... that's why today... i was like a living dead doing data entry... hahaha... i barely had an hour of sleep before i had to hate for work... and i almost fell asleep while i were checking names against some listing that is provided... and the worst thing... i steal some sleep while doing.. cos everyone is everywhere and can see if i'm sleeping on my job... but anyway... i had a good 4 hour talk with my baby... and i'm so glad i did... i miss her soooo much... and i'm pleased to know that she misses talking to me too... we just can't seem to get enough of each other... i miss her so badly... i wanna go shopping with her... and buy heaps and heaps of stuff with her... and take photos using both machines and cameras... she's still my ultimate... no wonder i love her so much.. and she loves me just as much... hahaha... oops... =D

she's coming home soon... i'm counting the days... when she's back.. i'll have the money to shop by then... and that'll be perfect... i get to get my stuff... and she gets to get her stuff too... and we get to go out together.. hahaha... i can't wait for her to get back... then i have someone to talk to... not that i don't have any... it's just that talking to Joyce is different from talking to anyone else... she gets what i'm saying even though sometimes i don't know what i'm saying... haha... a invisible special bond between us i guess... =D but no frets... Tashie is still as dear to me as Joyce is... just in a different way... i still love them both... and i'll forever will... nothing lasts forever... but this case... i'm pretty sure it will... no matter how far apart we are... we are still the 3 girls... haha...

i need a planner to keep track on my stuff... and the planner that i wanted to get was really just what i needed... it had everything i need to want down... a to-do list... a shopping list... contacts list... monthly planner... scheduler... everything... and even a doodle page... sadly... when i wanted to buy it today it was the last one left and it was in a very very very VERY bad condition... so i had to leave the shop in disappointment... maybe i'm gonna go back there tomorrow again.. and ask if there would be any more of the stock coming in... and if there isn't what about the stock in the other outlets... i want that planner badly... really really badly... it's my perfect planner.. i NEED that planner... =((((((((((

there's a class chalet coming... and i bluffed my supervisor at work that it's a school camp... haha... but he allowed me to take those 3 days off... how cool is that huh... hohohoho... and he also lets me comes in for half day on thursdays for my trainings... it's very nice of him to be very understanding... but then again... maybe because i'm just a temp... so he really doesn't care about whether i come in for work or not... cos if i come in for shorter times... that would mean i would get lesser pay... which means... he doesn't have to get the company to give me so much money... but on the bright thought... on thrusdays... it's chances for me to do OT... and get even more pay... haha... cos it 1.5 of my usual pay... it's great ain't it? maybe everyday i shall do OT... then i'll get lots more than i have calculated... which means i get to buy more things... but of course... i would have to set aside probably a 100 for my parents cos they were nice enough to help me get a job in such notice... that's the wonders of parents... they will try to help you get what you want within their means... parents are good... although sometimes... they can be a total pain... everyone definitely would feel that way... but at the end of it... they are still appreciated in everyway possible... =D

i'm gonna head for my comfy bed already to get some proper sleep of 7 hours... although i know it's not enough to cover the sleep that i lost yesterday... but still better than none.... oh and i have yet to upload the photos of my last day at school with the sem2 class peeps... got to get down to it tomorrow... so that i can delete the photos in the camera and save the space for any meetings with my darling Tashie... =D and the chalet...

chao chao... night... zZzzZzZZzZzzZzzZzzZzzzZZzzzzzzzzzzZZzZzZZZzzzZzzzzzZZzZz

a DaY aWaY FrOm pArAdiSe

2006-03-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

i'm about 1 hour away from the last day of school!!!!! officially off school in 17 hours... then it's bye bye school and hello 12 weeks of no school... weeeeeeeeeee!!!!! finally away from the early morning awakening and boring lessons and boring class.... =D big big smiles to them...

i took a day off today cos i just didn't feel like going school... and ended up missing training as well... not a very good thing but temptation and laziness made me do it in the end... besides.. i think it's kinda brainless that i go back school since i'm home already and at 4.30... that's the time everyne goes home... so yea.. i decided on not going instead... i'll promise i go for trainings during the hols... =D hopefully my mum can get me a job and hopefully the job allows me to take thursday mornings off... =D please do.... cos i need to keep my training but at the same time earn some cash... =X

yesterday was madness... i went singing with my cuzzies and i sang till my voice went dry... almost lost my voice... butobviously didn't... if i lose my voice again... i don't think i'll be able to sing again... or maybe not... =D we sang till rather late yesterday and it cost us $36.80 altogether... it's not that ex after all... i remembered the last time we went... just the 3 of us... it was 48 plus bucks... so not bad... maybe we should go on wednesday nights all the time... then it would be cheap... =D we were mad in the room yesterday... really absolute madness in there... i guess we were the noisiest room in the whole place cos the staff working there kept peeping into our room and wanting to clear the glasses and refill the snacks for us... haha... oh well... it doesn't matter.... i like being noisy... it's fun... especially with my cuzzies... cos they go crazy with me too... love them to bits...

Anna bought a belly dancing VCD today... and she tried to learn it... haha... it was hilarious watching her trying to copy the way the people on TV move their body... she was damn stiff... just like the way i try to dance... hohohoho... maybe my house is not gifted with people who can dance.. hahaha....

there are so many things i want to get... my list never seem to stop... i need a sponsor... would anyone be kind enough to sponsor me? i promise i won't make you go bankrupt... i'll leave at least 10 bucks for you to eat at a kopitiam for a week... =D =X =)

i realize that as we get older... we see less of our family... even if we living under the same roof... just look at the no. of times i see my sisters... sometimes even my parents and Anna... there can be times where i don't see them for a week or so... that's very long... i know i don't see much of my 2 sisters at all... cos they are always not around... or rather... when they are around... i'm either asleep... or out... and it can get very boring after awhile... cos there don't seem to be anybody to talk to or just be a pain in the arse to... when all of us start working which one is already by the way... would we not see each other at all... for months? years? well... maybe not years since every chinese new year we are bound to sit around and eat together and stuff like that for 3 days... so ya... but other than that... would we get to see each other?

i was looking through thee-mails my school send via my school's mail.. and came across universities in California... and i were very much interested in it... there would be a fair commencing this sunday and i wanna go... i have asked Janice to go with me... they have psychology there and when i saw what the starting pay could fetch there... i almost flipped... it was hell lot of money... =D but of course i've got to get a doctorate in order to get that kinda pay... and i'm rather interested and determined to get that... =D i pray hard that i can... would my parents agree on me about going there to study... cos i know it would be expensive to send me there... but i so wanna go... i just have to check it out first and of course know what is the criteria to get into the course cos apparently... the websites doesn't seem to tell me the requirement to get into the universities there... and it's not one... in fact it was all the websites that i visited.. be it Chapman in California.. or Albany which is in New York... they just don't wanna tell me what are the requirements for me to get into psychology... they only show the requirements for the local students there... and no informations for international students... they should be more global friendly on their webbies... no offence... just felt that they should show the requirements to get into the various courses plus the requirements to get into the school...

i'm off to bed for the long day at school... chao chao... maybe there'll be more frequent updates the next few days... cos it's the HOLIDAYS!!!!!!! happy early holidays people!!!! =D=D=D=D

HoLiDaYs sWiMmiNg iN mY hEaD

2006-02-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

it's one week before my holidays!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! i LOVE holidays... i don't have to wake up so early to drag myself to the dreaded place... i don't have to see my facs... i don't have to attend boring presentations... i don't have to carry my labby all around... ahhhhh.... heaven... but on the other hand... no income for me... no money to spend... chance of getting fat... sigh... sometimes i wonder if it's good or bad... then again... more of good then bad... =D

i recently went to the zoo and i love it very much... the only part that sucked was the part with the stupid yucky creepy butterflies... which my dad took joy in holding it and walking around with that dreadful things... ewwwww... =/

what has been going on for the past few weeks... i don't seem to really remember... but i did do some shopping... got myself a Nike training bag... a Roxy handphone strap... soon i'm gonna get myself a Adidas jacket that caught my eye... and probably some clothes... but i have to find a job first to support my shopping... which of course ain't gonna be easy... cos who's gonna hire someone who's gonna work for 1 and a half months? sigh... but i do badly need a job... cos i ain't got a boyfriend who'll be able to handle my shopaholic lifestyle... i'm always buying and buying till i havn't got a penny left... will i be able to survive next time?? where's my Andy Lau? then he'll be able to make me a tai tai... even a half-tai tai is still good enough... cos a half-tai tai would eventually become a full tai tai one way or another... won't it... sigh... Andy Lau please come and save me.. =D or anyone close enough to be Andy Lau...

a thing to consider... is it acceptable to accept someone because the person buys you a gift? is that considered buying someone over? is it good? should it be accepted? would things happen? what would be the consequences? should it be accepted? is that call liking or bribery? is that buying a girlfriend? will that be happiness? no doubt it's sponsorship... but is it what it really should be? sigh... so many things to consider... yet no answers to be given for all these... oh well... i suppose nature and fate would somehow reveal all these doubts... going according to how you feel should be the answer now i guess... when the time is right... maybe it'll be right to accept and be happy.. maybe...

joyce darling has a labby already... YAY!!!! talking would be much easier now... although... there'll still be lots of letter writing to do... i need to buy my pens and pencils... i need to buy my letter pads... i need to by envelopes... i need to buy stamps... so many things still... i have yet to send my first letter either and i'm about to write the second... how weird... haha...

okay... i'm off to bed already... chao chao...

dOwN WiTh tHe bUg =((

2006-02-12T23:16:00.000+08:00

i'm down with a flu and a stupid headache... argh... this sucks... runny runny nose... ain't a very good feeling... it's been a long time since i've caught the bug... sigh... it's making me drowsy all the time... and the feeling of just puking and drop dead on the ground is buzzing around my head... when will the bug just leave me... =(((

RP bash was boring... real real boring... with their stupid performances and stuff... and it was too crowded... school doesn't have the brains to realize that a small club can't fit the school and the public in... they are totally dumb... that's why i got out of there early with my baby and her baby... to get the fresh air... and i feel bad for sorta ignoring the person who sponsored my tickets... it was done unconciously... trust me.... bottom line of the whole thing... it just sucked... the only good side about it is that it didn't play techno or songs that go "tiu tiu tiu"... if you get what i mean...

i think i just have the natural ability of pushing people away without realizing... a natural rejection action which i'm always unaware of until a few hours later... is that a bad thing?? it's no wonder my circle of friends would never expand... somehow i have withdrawal systoms that makes people steer clear of me after awhile... an introvert? well... it's had to say if that's being a introvert... cos i can be quite an extrovert too... so which am i? i'm neither here nor there... or maybe... i would suddenly become a introvert when i start to encounter with certain things and an extrovert when i know it's going to be a short period of time... what's wrong with me? i've yet to find out... but i'm sure i would one day...

got a cut on my ringman today... cos i was playin with this spinning thingy and i caught the thingy and then i gave me a cut... it hurts... and it still does... i'm not using my ringman to type anything for the next few days cos i'm scared of the pain... i'm not one that can handle pain well... although of course i try to hide it now and then... that's being strong... =)

i bought a fighting fish recently... it's called fishie... and he's living well... so class people... stop asking if he's still alive... cos he is.. and he will be for a long time... by the way... he's gonna have new friends coming in soon... my dad's bringing home 2 more... that would be fun... i'll get to see fishie showing off his thingys to the other fishies and for once show my dad that fishie's not that ugly after all... =)

the drowsiness of the stupid flu is kicking in already... i'm gonna snooze now... chao chao... good night...

ToTaLLy TiReD oUt

2006-02-06T22:35:00.000+08:00

i barely slept 3 hours this morning and the next thing i know i'm awake and off to school... it's totally draining... i was so listless in class... i didn't bother helping to do much... my team mates are probably unhappy and gonna give me bad evaluations... oh well... i guess i deserve it anyway... cos i seriously didn't have the mind to do anything but just stare into the screen and stone... and watch shows... and tomorrow's module is even more dreading than today's... sigh... school's a drag... i can't wait for the holidays to come... 3 more weeks... or maybe... and it's my holidays again... i can't wait...

i wanna go KL during my hols... but then again... Janice might not be able to make it to go with me... i so wanna go sunway lagoon... it's a bit too outdated to go there perhaps... but i've been wanting to go for who knows how long... then again... going to the city to shop at the twin towers and stuff like that is just as much fun... =D argh!!! if only i can drive... then i can learn my way there... then i'll get to go there without much trouble... but then again... i don't like malaysia.. it may be shoppers' haven to go there although not as good as thailand that's for sure... but i just don't like the people there and the toilets are really filthy that i can't stand it... even thailand's toilet is of much higher standard than theirs...

was studying about glowing flowers today and how they actually make them glow... how nice if all flowers glow... especially daisies... haha... uh-huh... that's would be very nice... pink glowing daisies... hahaha... would that be possible? then again... why not right? scientist made orchids glow... so it'll be a matter of time before my daisies start glowing too... =D maybe i should be the first to do that if i decided to be a lab researcher after all... and if i can't make it in psychology of course... the best is if i get sent overseas to study my psychology... then i can buy my cottage that i want... hohoho... maybe i dream too much... but at least i have dreams... =D and that's something that i would always look forward too as a target that i'm gonna be one step closer... =D

i just realized RP is full of crap... they are still not gonna allow me to specialize in my course till my final year... what total shit is that???? it's totally wasting my time in this stupid school... the module selection thingy is confusing... am i suppose to have a core specialization now or should it wait??? and what about the core discipline thingy?? argh!!! this is so crappy... i hate my school... now you know how crappy this school can get... with it's stupid system and all that... it's trying to hard to be different... and this ends up screwing their fellow students' young live... and that includes mine!!! damn... now i'm lost... oh heck... i'll just get done and over with in this school... get the desired GPA to take psychology and vamus from there...

i'm gonna make a scrap book of me and tashie for darling joyce for her birthday... haha... i wonder if we'll really get down to it... cos that would means we really have to hang out lots and take a million pictures to put in the bookie and send it over to her just in time for her birthday... and talking about her... she hasn't written to me yet... i wonder if she has settled down and is free enough to give me her first update... haha... cos i'm scared my mail will get lost halfway there if i send her first... hehe... =D

going off to sleep already... can't be listless for this whole week... my UT's coming and is the most dreaded one cos obviously it is computing one... yeeeeewwwwww!!!!! hate it.. never see joy in doing maths at all... although it does takes my mind off things when i have problems... cos it makes my mind go bonkers... whatever... i'm gonna snooze already...

just one more thing to add... i just don't understand how come some people could be so thick-skinned to ask to borrow money and it's alot of money at one shot... what's a job for if you're forever in debt... if you do not have the money... you get that thing or whatever it is... being in debt for life... is it very exciting??? just don't get it... maybe i should be enlightened sometimes... but on second thought... i wouldn't wanna be enlightened by that sort of people... cos they are more of losers for the rest of their lives... maybe i sound crude... but that's what i think... these kinda people should just stop to think about their life sometimes...

chao chao...

LaLaLaLaLa... fLyiNg HiGh...

2006-02-05T01:24:00.000+08:00

blogspot was bad to me for 2 days... it refuses to show my entry that i wrote on thursday... and made me repost it on friday again... but it still didn't work... and now... it decided to be nice to me again... bad bad BAD blogspot... =D

friday was a day out with my Tashie darling... we had lots of fun fooling around in Toys R Us... it's really really fun there... haha... took a number of pictures there dressing up... and creating a hell of a noise at the baby toys section... =D here are a few snapshots...

that's us being princesses... we look so sweet don't we? cheers!!!

i present to you... the furry duo... i don't really look good in this picture though... i look so round... but the furry neck thingy is so much fun... hehe...

the powerpuff girls paid us a visit... or rather... we dragged Bubbles and Blossom into our mischief... hohoho... they are hawaiian powerpuffies... Buttercup's missing though... and again... i look horrible in this picture too... sigh...

don't bother the ugly pictures of me... it's ain't the main point... the pictures are more focusing on how we played with those toys and not buying a single on of them... =D

this one's on the third day of CNY when she came my house to visit and was on the way to sending her off to the nearest bus stop... short ride but managed to snap some shots... haha... this should be the best of the ones we took in the car...

decided to go to the bash after all cos there's my people to go with me... won't feel bored... =D saw my pretty fac outside MOS on friday... as usual... she looked damn pretty... =D she asked me to join her but i didn't want and couldn't... i'm not of age yet although this year i am of age but not legally... however according to the chinese year... i am.. but i can't tell the bouncer that... so ya... too bad... besides... i wasn't wearing right for the occasion... but it's nice to see her though... =D

went to the revolving restaurant near sentosa today with my family and Uncle Seng Kiat... it's dizzy up there... but beautiful at the same time... =D i love it up there... and we managed to catch a glimpse of the fireworks happening after the Chingay thingy... and there'll be more everyday at the same time for 17 days starting from CNY till 2 days after CNY... i never seem to catch in time though... fireworks are sooo pretty... i love them... =D

by the way... happy birthday everybody... 7th day of CNY's everybody's birthday... so ya... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! happy to me... you... them... they... us... the whole of the chinese clan... =D

tomorrow's about visiting and praying... gonna go off now then...

]*[just for your information : those that born in the year of the dargon. dog, ox and one more i forgot... you people have offended a god called Tai Sui... please go to the temple to get yourself chopped with some red thing and seek peace so that things will go smoothly... it's up to you to listen to this piece of information... just an advise from me... i've gone for mine... =D oh and at the same time pray to the gods there... you might even be able to get 4D numbers.. =D]*[

1 mOnTh oF FeAsTiNg... dEvOuReD bY fAtS...

2006-02-03T09:46:00.000+08:00

4 straight hectic days... i ate... i played... i sleep... and i'm eating again... that's basically what my Chinese New Year is all about every year... a series of dinners and going people's house to snack on the goodies... it's kinda nice cos it's not everyday that i'll see all of my relatives... the only one that i see most often is Janice Ng... then the rest of the year would be history...

RP bash is coming up... and i'm wondering if i should go after all... i'm still considering and pondering cos i wanna have khaki to go with me... if i don't have... then i'll probably pass it... Ping says it's very messy... i don't really understand the meaning of that... messy in what way? oh well... my Tashie's gonna confirm with me if she's going with me on sat... so i'll just wait then... =D

my darling Mother Goose has gone to aussie... i suppose she has arrived in Aussie already... if i'm not wrong she's in Perth or Melbourne... not too sure... but either way... she's in Aussie... when i have the money and time... maybe i might go down to meet up with her... that'll be so fun... but definitely not gonna stay in Melbourne... we shall go Sydney instead... not so dead there as compared to Melbourne or Perth... whichever she may be in... we might even go Gold Coast... Yipppeeee~! that'll be fun... it's been years since i've been to Aussie... i miss the rides there... partly because i didn't get to play much cos i was too young when i went there and i cried when i just took a kiddie ride... that was bad... so this time... since i'm older... i should have more fun then... =D she'll be back only in december... cos she says this term whole year is essential for her... so she can only be back during the december hols... which i think it's fine... cos her vacations months crashes with mine except for her december vacation... =D

it's fun that i'm gonna start having old fashion mails... hehe... Joyce doesn't have a com with her when she's in aussie... so that means the only way of communicating and keeping in contact with each other is through snail mail... the feeling of awaiting a mail is sooo fun... haha.... and i can start buying nice letter pads and envelopes again... hehe... this is going to be sooo much fun... but i don't really know how much is it to post a letter to Aussie.. $1? $0.50? $0.20? $1.50? i think i'll have to ask Jie Jie about that... cos she did send cards back while she was there... it would be the same amount i think... anyhow... it's still snail mail and it's fun to write snail mail... it makes it more precious... better than e-mails... =D

i miss my Goose already... i wonder if she can feel it... hehe... she's probably missing me as much as i miss her... haha... my bestest bestie so far.. =D

training later... it's getting tougher... i hate running... but then again... to remove the fats... i have to persevere... i need to lose weight... it's depressing that i'm getting fatter and fatter by the day... i need to feel stress... where's my stress when i need them????? i need exams... i need exams to stress the hell out of me... then i'll stop snacking... and when i stop snacking... i stop over eating... and when i stop over eating... i start losing fats... and when i lose fats... i won't look so round... and when i don't look so round... i don't feel depressed... and when i don't feel depressed... i feel happier... and when i feel happier... i live longer... one thing just leads to another doesn't it... =D

i have nothing much to say already... i'm gonna stop... i have new pictures... shall upload one day.... =D the camera's still lying in my room waiting for me to upload it... =D

chao chao..

OnLy oNcE

2006-01-18T11:10:00.000+08:00

i realized many things only comes once... and it is kinda sad to know that truth... yet sometimes because it only comes once we remember... we treasure... we produce hope...

real love that you feel it is comes only once... that's why we remember it and treasure it even when it's gone...

cute guys in my perspective also only appear once and somehow vanish elsewhere... it's like a once seen thing... that's of course seem to only apply for me... somehow the cute guys i've seen so far always seem to appear once... hehe... which makes me like cute guys more... haha... cos i think after knowing them... they are not as cute as they appeared to be anymore.. haha... but of course... some exceptions would always be around... =D

marriage also only comes once... let's not see the part on divorces and separations... by right... when marriage comes... it only happens once reason being that the vow taken has already said to spend the rest of your lives with the other one... the only time when it's right to re-marry is in cases like becoming a widow... but if all goes well... it's only happens once...

chances are given once... you missed it... then that's it...

opportunities are also a one time thing... when it's gone... it's gone.. your life or something might take a turn and your life route would change totally...

you get the picture? it all happens only once... it's a pity that good friends or best friends have to regard each other as enemies... is it worth doing this to each other?? i'm thankful that i do not have such cases in my friendship triangle... haha... my close friend circle is only enough to make a triangle if you know what i mean... hehe... anyway... yeah... my close friends that know me have not come to a point where we are enemies... and i'm certain we will never come to that point cos there's no meaning to that... =D

about the cute guy part... i have an announcement to make... i have a new cute guy... lol... he's cute and he drives... hahahhahaaha... know him form open house and only a day... oh well... too bad it's only a 1 time thing... hahaha... if there's fate... we might pass by in school someday or maybe even be classmates in year2... yay... =D lol...

that's about it for today... chao....

iS tHeRe a TitLe tO bE sEeN?

2006-01-14T23:20:00.000+08:00

pretty template i've got there ain't it? edited the skin a little within a few mins... i'm rather staified with it... there's a Blythe too... although it's not as nice as other Blythe pictures i saw... but it makes the whole template look very sweet... haha... i like my taggie now too... it's so sweet too... haha... this is a very sweet template... haha... which makes me sweet too cos i made it look sweet together with of course the person who created the skin too... =D

been busy ever since last december... suddenly i seemed to be filled up with lots of things to do and it's soo rush... but it's kinda fun having something to do... maybe because december was all about work and training and now it's all about open house training and school[which by the way is getting more and more boring...]

i received a very weird message from someone who i never thought would actually say that... it's a bit freaky to me... i don't know what to make of it... i figure it's just desperation that let to it... i mean rejection could be pretty hard when it's not once but thrice... a pathetic liar is what i would call that fellow... it's so abvious that a lie was told... but of cousre... admitting to it would only make it more pathetic... ignorance is the path i chose to deal with this nonsensical message... i would rather play a game of fate with that fellow... if we do really have fate... somehow or rather... ignorance will still lead me to the matter... but i doubt that would happen... reason being is all a lie in the first place so it's just something that is said but with no meaning in it at all... and the worst thing is... the message came in the middle of the night when i'm SLEEPING!!! which made me stay awake for the next few hours till my official waking time cos of the message tone AND the STUPID phone call... brainless...

it's the open house first day.. and i'm dead beat... my eyes are shutting soon... even as i'm typing all these... tomorrow's going to be more hectic cos there'll be "celebrities" coming... and i'm sure their crazy fans would come down and create chaos there...

well... chao chao now then... i'm gonna drop dead already.... =D

[weather report : SUNNY DAY!!!! very hot day... sun out all day...]
[expected weather for tomorrow : SUNNY DAY!!! no more black clouds... bring a cap to block the sun...]

2006-01-12T14:49:00.000+08:00

i am obsessed with Blythe dolls now... i like everything about them... they are pretty... their house is stylish... their clothes are gorgeous and their pictures are beautiful... they look so perfect... yet the only thing that's keeping me away from these gorgeous dolls are the price for just one... it's too expensive for me to get it and most stuff had to be ordered online... with this doll, it's going to make me go broke in a few days beacause of all the clothes and accessories that i would wanna get for her...

it's just too bad i'm not rich... or rather rich enough to spend money on this doll to make her look beautiful cos i have things to get for myself that would be more necessary than this... my obsession would last... no doubt... but when would i finally get one? it's unpredictable... just look how pretty they are... i took some pictures from websites that sold Blythe stuff... i hope i don't get sued for taking their pretty pictures into my bloggie... here's one...

this one by a Blythe collector and a photographer called Gina Garan... she takes really nice pictures of Blythes... this one's wearing a Gucci dress... simply stunning...

there's another one...

i particularly like this Blythe doll... i like her hair and her pixie look... in fact... her owner called her Pixie... she really does look like one... i like her lots... when i have my Blythe doll, i would want her to look something like that yet she will have a own style and image that's different from Pixie...

the thing about Blythe collectors is that they treat the their Blythes like human... they give them houses... celebrate their birthdays... make clothes for them... talk to them... care for them... bathe for them... and even have stories about them... it is amazing that they does that unlike regular doll collectors like Barbie collectors... Barbie collectors collect Barbies but they never really touch them and give them stuff like Blythe collectors...

what made me attracted to these dolls is something i'm not sure of... maybe it's the clothes... or maybe the photos... or maybe both... it's not very certain... but one thing's for sure is that i'm determine to get this doll one way or another... =D

maybe i should go change my blogskin to Blythe skin too... it would make my bloggie nice too... =D

i'm done talking about Blythe for now... chao chao...

[weather report : still raining consecutively for 6 days... gonna be a week of raining soon... weather suggestion : bring brollies out everyday now... don't wash your clothes to often these days or you'll run out of clothes soon... keep warm under your blankie... bring a jacket wherever you go to keep the wind out...]

2006-01-04T21:04:00.000+08:00

NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!

Andy Lau's gay no more!!!!! yup yup yup... he's just single cos he's wants to be single... he has a kid though... adopted kid... just to have a kid... he's too old to have a kid already anyway... so adopting one is sweeeet.... =D =D =D =D =D

my mum confirmed it for me that he's no gay and he'll never be gay... so to those who told me he was gay today and agreed with that stupid fac that he's gay: STUPID LIAR!!!! MY ELIGIBLE BACHELOR'S NOT GAY!!! DON'T SPOIL HIS NAME!!!! XP it ain't good to lie eh... especially to someone that seems to easily believe such stuff...

that's the end of today's sudden....

NEWS FLASH!!!!!!

tune in again for other interesting news... or so i think... =D

2006-01-04T12:05:00.000+08:00

today's a wednesday... it's a boring day... i had UT this morning... come to think of it the UT didn't turn out all that bad... central limit theorem and all that statistical crap.... it was more like simple a-maths and e-maths stuff... algebra and things like that... simple stuff... no complications... but the only thing that is bad is... i didn't complete my paper...=( no time to finish it... so ended up leaving out 3 sub-questions out... =( oh well... i'm glad it's over... still dreading the next one that's coming and the following lessons though... i have no more enthusiam to go for computing class anymore... it only drains life out of me...

training's tomorrow instead of today... argh!!!! i thought it was today and so i ended up lugging all my stuff to school for nothing... luckily there's a "locker" in class for me to dump my stuff into it so that i can keep them for tomorrow... i don't suppose anyone would steal the whole "locker" away eh... i'm praying not... my racket's inside... they can't steal it... cos firstly it's not mine... and secondly... it's expensive...

i need to buy shoes... i need slippers... i need clothes... but for now... i can't get them... reason being that i've got my hair to rebond... my nails to do... and stationary to get... although i'm in a paperless school... but i still think i need to buy stationaries... i enjoy buying pens and pencils and erasers and coloured pens... that's why i enjoy going popular... i just wonder into popular without realizing when i'm bored just to look at pens and buy them and coming out of the store an hour later feeling very contented... =D later... i'm gonna buy 10 bucks worth of stationaries... haha... that's not alot of stationaries come to think of it... it's actually quite little already... this is a list of things that i need to get using my 10 bucks voucher at Popular:
1) pencils!!!! i need them... i lost 2 of my pencils somehow and now i have nil pencils... =(
2) pencil lead!!! i need to have pencil lead if not i can't use my pencils that i'm gonna buy already right... =D
3) erasers!!! got to refill my eraser pen already... plus i need the normal ones for rough erasing... hehe....
4) blue pens!!!! for some serious writing... i lost them too... i don't remember where i put them...
5) some more coloured pens... my old ones are gonna die off soon... and some new colours could make things looks nicer ya?? hehe... you get what i mean... =D
6) stars... that's for me to make when i'm bored... like when i'm on the train or the bus or in class or wherever and whenever i'm bored and have nothing to do... =D
7) a temporary pretty scheduler... till i find a pretty one that i love... have to write down my schedule now... suddenly i have have things to do that i need to note down if not i would definitely forget and might lose some pretty good stuff... haha... like missing my exercise days... or having good meals... haha... =D
8) a pretty temporary notebook to do workings or write down stuff during school or anything... like during UTs especially computing paper...

i guess that pretty much covers what i wanna get and definitely that would cost more than 10 bucks... i might even have to top up on the stuffs... haha... but i'll be happy to do that though... cos it's what i call joy... hehehe... =D

it's half an hour more till 3rd meeting starts.. i havn't read my team's presentation properly yet though... i've got to do that at 1.45 soon... so that i'll be in time to be prepared for the whole thing... my enterprise fac's changed again... sigh... why... i want wilson ang to be back teaching... hehe... =D don't get me wrong... i just like him innocently cos he called me smart... LOL... i like anyone that calls me smart... haha... a good feeling... haha.... so Wilson Ang should come back teach... =( haha...

i'm writing a very long entry again... haha... i like ranting about things... especially here... cos it could just go on and on and on forever without ever stopping... the only people that's gonna suffer is the people who bother reading my blog... haha... cos they have to seat through all these boring rantings for maybe half an hour or so?? and probably give up reading half way cos it's just way way waaaaaaay tooooooo long for them to handle... hahaa... well... my apologies to whoever these people are then... haha...

the final news for this entry... THE MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR AKA THE MAN OF MY DREAMS AKA ANDY LAU IS GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(((((((((((( i was kinda sad after receiving the news... maybe that's old news to others... but it's new to me... cos i have always thought Andy Lau's straight... the only reason why he isn't attached is that he just got tired of the string of girlfriends that he use to have... but the horrible truth of it all is that he just didn't have any attraction to the female gender.... it's devastating... such a waste... he's good looking... good singer... good actor... rich... famous... what else is no perfect about him... sigh... the part that he is gay made it imperfect... sigh... hopefully Shawn Yue, Edison Chen, Vincent Ng, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Zidane, Won-Bin, and the other japanese actor i forgot what's his name are and never will turn gay... =D

okay... that's the end... chao chao... time to read my presentation slides already... =D

2006-01-01T04:06:00.000+08:00

******************

CAUTION TO ALL READERS WHO READS THIS... IT'S A REALLY

REALLY REEEEEALLLLLLLLY LONG ENTRY....

AND A LITTLE HARD TO READ THE WORDS COS OF THE SPACING...

APOLOGIES FOR THAT...

YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE IT AND GIVE UP HALFWAY...

BLOGGER IS NOT RESPOSIBLE FOR SUDDEN BOREDOM OR

SLEEPINESS IN CASE IT DOES HAPPENS...

READ THIS AT YOUR OWN WILL... =D

Happy Reading!!!

******************

it's new year's day already!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPSIES!!!!!

ahhhh.... new year... it means Chinese New Year's coming soon... weeeee.... i love chinese new year... hahaha...

i wanted to watch Narnia on new year's eve but i couldn't get good timing and good seats... i had no choice but to abandon the plan to watch the show i've long to watch ever since i saw the trailer... argh!!!! hate it when i can't watch the show i want... but on the bright side... i watched Wallace & Gromit... it's a little draggy... but i enjoyed it... in fact i still like the show... =D so since i couldn't watch Narnia with Ping... we ended eating the Fondue at Haagen Daz... it's was nice.. but made me sick... just didn't feel like it's a good day to eat fondue somehow... =( but it doesn't matter... i met my sis after meeting Ping... and that's where Wallace & Gromit came in... we caught that movie instead at Eng Wah... and had Rice Table for dinner which is still as yummy as the last time i went there with my parents... but it was kinda like a rushed dinner cos we had to gobble everything down by 9.30 to make it in time for them to start packing up... i was already bloated by the food...

we then passed time at the arcade and i must say... the crowd there especially around the House Of The Dead machine was super big... back to the main people at hand... us... we went to watch people play games... grab toys... grab PSP and then decided on the game Photo Hunt... and we unfortunately wasn't allowed to play on any of the machines till almost 45 mins later... which is irritating... and the worst thing is that when we finally got to play... we just had to sit beside a bunch of stupid fucking noisy and loud bloody ah bengs which were irritating the shit out of us and trying to make me go deaf... we were really pissed off... so we left and these stupid people decided to leave right after we left... why didn't they just left earlier so that they won't waste our fucking time... but then again... what can i expect they ARE what we call ah bengs... so they will never have the courtesy to shut their trap or try lowering down their voice for a change so that they won't disturb other people playing... [some may feel offended at this... but hey... i'm anti-bengs... i detatse them... i just think they are a waste to Singapore's resources and should probably just disappear from the surface of the earth cos the simply just S-U-C-K-S!!!!!] anyway... after they left... we continued playing till it time to countdown...

fireworks display at the Esplanade was beautiful... gorgeous... whatever pretty words you can think of... i'm still very fascinated and wow-ed by fireworks... everytime when one pops out and burst into the sky... i'll just start screaming... i don't know why... i just like doing that... it's the most most MOST pretty thing that always happens at festivals or occassions... =D fireworks makes me go MAD!!! haha... i like it... nooooo.... wrong... i LOVE it... hahahahah.... took some pictures... here and there... and i went to Haagen Daz... yes... once again... haha... this time it was just for ice cream... you see... on new year's day... you're allowed to be sinful in your eating... hahah... i know these are excuses... haha... but i still love my ice cream... i forgot what it was called already... it vanilla ice cream on top of a brownie dipped in coffee... i didn't really like the coffee though... cos it's too bitter for me... i don't like bitter things... the rest was just yummy to the core.. =D i bought ice cream back home for my parents and my anna too... 3 sticks one for each... i was actually thinking maybe i should buy a pint instead... but my sis said buy the stick ones... so i ended up buying that...

when i got home... i played with the dried ice... it's been ages since i last did that... haha... i played them with Coco... haha... yup yup... my boss of the house who is pampered by all including my parents and relatives... he's family... that's right... ohana... =D i woked him up unintentionally and started playing with the ice... after a while he lost interest in it and started searching for food instead which of course he turned to us and the dry ice... it's fun making fun of him... but he soon got tired and refused to budge when we wented him back to his area... i had to carry him out and coax him to stay where he was and asked him to shut up cos he won't stop barking... sigh... he's just sooo adorable... although he attacked me over a ChipsMore cookie which i think was so unnfair of him to do that... i still love him... cos no matter what... he already made a place in this family as the pampered one where all new animals have to seek approval from him to live happily here... and i really mean it... =D

so now here i am... blogging about the day's event... later at night... i'll have to go to my cuzzie's place for a party i think... if i didn't remember worngly... i'm not entirely sure actually... i'll just see how it goes...

school's starting soon.., and this totally sucked... i'm not in the least looking forward to stepping into that stupid retarded school at all... March... please come quickly so that i can proceed to Year2 and do what i have come to this school for... and let me pass all my modules especially my Computing one... so that i won't have to retake it again...

some things puzzle me and i don't really know what to think of it... is there more than it meets the eye? maybe i shouldn't think too much.. but a little part of me wants it to really happen... maybe i'm too inexperienced and probably naive to figure it out... if only the answer was there... i really don't know what to say or do or even make out of it... what IS actually going on... what's exactly am i expected to make of it... will i ever get my answer... i hope this part gets read by the person i'm hoping that would read it... i need answers... cos curiosity does kills you know... take it as i'm immature or what... but what is it that's wanted... hidden meanings all around... too much thinking?? well... simplify it for me then... cos i don't think playing this kinda joke on me is very funny at all... go pick on somebody who can deal with it and leave me alone instead of saying funny things that don't seems to make sense at all... i'm not a code breaker... i do not have time for this kinda nonsensical brainless and mean jokes... JERK!!!!!

by the way... it's pay day already... i saw my pay come in... i wonder if there's more than what i just see in there... haha... i'm happy... weeee.... i'm finally gonna do my hair... =D it's in a mess... but it won't be for long... i promise...

time check now is 4.49am... this is the longest one i have written ever... probably because i'm making up for the next few days' and the previous days' entries... =D

i'll try to update more often... but no gaurantees... no one reads it anyway... it's all for myself... and if people DO read it... i hope those that is meant to read parts of it DOES read it... you know what i mean... =D

chao chao... i've gotta catch my snooze already... =D

2005-12-27T02:16:00.000+08:00

What's Your True Color?
Cynthia, your true color is Red!

Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.

it's funny eh... but i've been liking the colour that's been me all along... hehehe... although... it could really be crappy.. haha... these kind of online tests are so full of nonsense.. haha... but at least this one picked the colour i love most... hahaha...

lots of stuff been happening these few days... besides work which one super tiring this time although i don't know why i was feeling extremely beaten out... i was practically not in the spirit to continue working but had to forced myself to do it... i suppose the late nights are eating into me now... it's really draining... christmas eve was just wonderful... we had singing... and talking and eating... and lots of leftovers... hahaa... a weird thing happened and i don't know what to make of it... probably just me thinking too much... but i just feel that that guy is acting weird and saying funny things... and i'm totally freaked by him... what's so wrong with him?? i don't know how i should react to what he messaged me on christmas day... am i supposed to be glad?? but somehow i feel that it's wrong... all so wrong... there's a hidden agenda somehow... but then again... it could be all just part of thinking too much and being it so early in the morning... maybe he was thinking straight... maybe he's just mad... i guess i'll just leave it that way... i don't wanna ask him why he told me that for... i was thinking so what when i first saw the message... i'm spooked by him... argh!!!! crazy guy... i shall not bother about such madness... maybe he was talking to the wrong person... i'm not the only that wrote him a card eh... it could one of his other girls... he just happen to tell it to the worng person... this should be it... i have no doubt about it... =D good explanation... =D

okay... i'm going off to play LOTR with my sister already... tata... will keep it update again someday... =D

2005-12-15T19:56:00.000+08:00

it's been a long long long long time since i wrote anything here... hahaha... oh well... been busy lately... and it's really busy and tiring... had to work... and do stuff... i'm glad whenever i get time to sleep... went for tennis training for the first time... it's tiring and freaking and really really freaking hot out there today that now... i'm once again burnt by the sun...ARGH!!!! rosy cheeks... but rosy nose too???? sigh... and it's itchy... but still... trainig ain't that bad... i learnt something new and i get to do some exercise to lose weight... ain't that great or what... hahaha... not gonna be fat anymore... just have to remember to bring along towel, sunblock and a cap the next time i go for training...

tomorrow's working day again... yipee!!!! cashflow... income... oh yay!!! hahaha... this time it's not going to be overnight anymore... fix hour and no sleepovers... weeeee!!!!

my mum says i'm very fragile... do i really look fragile?? so is that a good thing to be fragile or not so good thing? i may be accidental prone... is that considered being fragile?? haha.. i think it's funny that my mum thinks i'm fragile... i bet no one else actually think that way since i'm tall... and i guess to most people being tall means being sporty... so how can someone be sporty and yt fragile right? oh well... since now i'm in a sport already i'm not longer fragile eh... =D

this hols is a good month... i like it... haha... i've got things to do... i tire myself out till i can't tire myself anymore... i got a job by chance and of course through help... i got into tennis which means exercise... the only thing missing is that i'm not losing weight... but heck... i'm sure i'll be able to once i attend more trainings and of course start snacking which is kinda hard to do... haha... but i can do it... hahaha...

i miss diney... i miss ping... i miss my darling Miss Wong... i miss lots of peeps cos i havn't seen them quite some time already... luckily for me... my precious, Miss Lau has been appearing in front of me for awhile... hehe.... due to working connections of course... thanks to her... i got the job... so yeah... of course i'll see her... hahaha...

i wanna go KL... i wanna go to Sunway Lagoon... i've been wanting to go there for ages... since.... since it started... please please please let my mum be able to convince Jan's mum to allow her go... then i can finally go and she can finally have her holiday of no worries... who am i praying to i don't know... whoever hears it... just answer my prayer please... =D that'll be sweet of you... =D

okay... enough said... i'm gonna play Nightmare Before Christmas already... then i'll go snooze...

i think this is just enough to covr what has been happening in my life for the past many weeks eh... =D

]*[Her Ladyship's Very Happy Today]*[

2005-11-22T21:50:00.000+08:00

i've got purple nails!!!!! =D
i've got flowers on my pointer!!!! =D
i've got my dog to disfigure a little of it!!! =(
i've got blisters all over my feet!!!! (
i've got a pair of red shoes that hurt!!!! =(
i've got Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire in my computer but it's taking a long time to transfer!!! =(
i've got a grumpy Anna that hates my Spotty Doggy!!! =(
i've got lots of movies in my computer!!! =D
i've got a job in December waiting for me!!! [it better not disappear..] =D
i've got to exercise before i become obese!!!! =(
i've got too many chocolates!!! =D but it's making me fat!!! =(
i've got 1 more week before term break!!! =D
i've got pictures of my doggy woggy and i'm gonna show you now!!! =D

i've got more... but i'll not show already!!! =D

chao chao!!! =D

2005-11-13T00:34:00.000+08:00

went kite flying today... it's fun... the kite from shanghai flew twice for quite a while... it's very satisfying to make the kite fly... my dog went wild when i let him loose at the open field... so wild that he refuses to listen to us... =D he's soooo cute... i love the way he jumps and runs... very nice... =D i'm starting to feel attached to that doggy woggy already... =D he's sooo likeable...

my king dog's in the hospiatal... =( he's not feeling well and he's gonna stay there for 4 days... hipe he gets well soon... it feels weird not having him around the back of my house... no one to call for the sake of calling... hehe...

Barney's invading Downtown East now... *yucks* why doesn't Spongebob invade Downtown East instead... he havn't come yet has he? don't recall... =D

i should stop eating... i'm getting very very very fat... i'm depressed... =( help me... i have no determination to go jogging... everytime i wanna do that... i'm stopped by something... help!!!!

i can't tag anyone on my tagboard... i can't even tag sabby's tagboard... =(what's wrong with it... where the tagboard doctor???

friday was a carzy day... it's so draining and killing... the whole class almost went crazy doing A-Maths... mathematicians should die... they are sick people who enjoys squeezing their brain juice out doing these kinda stuff...

i'm gonna snooze already... i still have to wash the dog tomorrow... chao chao anybosy who's reading this... [Hannah... i finally blog... interesting enough? =D Sharon darling... I MISS YOU!!!!]

]*[Her Ladyship's dead beat...]*[

2005-11-08T23:08:00.000+08:00

fats are taking over me!!!!!!! i'm gonna feel fat... look fat... go out fat... sing fat... work fat... eat fat... married fat... date fat... give birth fat... and die fat!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! fats're driving me nuts... where exercise? where's diet? where's discipline? where's being skinny????

depressed... i don't wanna be fat... i can feel it bulging as i stand, sit, sleep, eat, talk or do anything... FATS... something that'll always bug the female gender... argh!!!!! so unfair... i hate skinny people now... till i become skinny... i hate all of them.... =D i love fat people now... skinny people go away...

i have new music artiste interest: Corrine May
i like her songs... very soothing and meaningful... but after one of her songs repeatedly for half an hour.... i became depressed... =D like it all the same... =D

that's about it... chao chao...

2005-10-31T11:49:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!!!

I'M A BALLERINA WITH A PRETTY PINK TUTU...

I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!!

WELCOME DEAD PEOPLE....

I LOVE YOU DEAD PEOPLE!!!!

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!

2005-10-27T14:52:00.000+08:00

how unfair it is that my parents allow my 2 older sisters to do whatever they please and never objecting their stuff and requests... why is it that my parents hates cats so much and rather allow a jack russel to come in instead of a cat... what is it that makes them treat me this way... who really cares about how i'm actually feeling...

i've realized i'm always giving people one big chunk about life and comforting them.. and yet... no one does that to me... i don't really want anything in return... cos i care because i want to care.... but sometimes people's concern comforts me... but then again... the one that comforts me ain't the one that i wanna be comfort by... it's complicating... life's complicating... everything's complicating... the world is complicating... the earth's complicating... space's complicating... other planets are complicating... the whole universe's complicating... the galaxy's complicating... so where has all the simplicity gone to? why can't everything be simple so that the feeling of hurt, pain, and all bad feelings would disappear from here? i would never be able to find that out and have an answer no matter how i come up with a million and billion of logic about life...

i'm starting to doubt my life... cos i don't know whay am i doing with life now... i go to school... i attend class... at the end of the day... i don't know what the hell's going on... what exactly do i do after i graduate from school... after uni... am i able to be what i wanna be... lost sheep... that's what i am...

i'm living a dream all the time... i float through the years without remembering anything that i have done for the past few years... how fascinating is that... i'm a dreamer... i'm a floater... i will never snap back to reality... cos that's just the way i am... =D

chao chao...

2005-10-25T20:03:00.000+08:00

i've got a weird RJ question today... a very very very very lame and stupid RJ... here it is...
What do you think of your new team? Do you resist or welcome the change and how has the change affected your learning?
stupid ain't it? totally... how am i gonna put it nicely that i totally hate school... that i totally hate the lesson... that i kinda find it hard to clique with my classmates... that this school is just bloody wasting one whole year of my life???? i have to change team all the time... i have to welcome it no matter what... even if i say i resist... that it sucks changing group cos you have to readjust again... cos it makes life difficult for me... so what? so what? so what?!?!?!?!? no what... that's the answer... i can't believe that bloody sucky fac gave that kinda stupid question... where's her brains... argh!!!! i havn't thought of what to write yet... but thought i should just blog first...

Jaff's a nonsense... he thinks me and Wilson[a total pest] look good... give me a break... he's sooooo chiina... very chiina... super chiina... exteremely chiina... it's horrible... he's a total pest... just entertaining if i'm bored... i'm not saying he's a bad guy or something... it's just that... he's like an entertainer to me... cos seriously... he's like Tan Tan... full-time entertainer... Jaff... get a life... i almost killed myself teaching him the stupid excel... it's crazy teaching him... he doesn't even know the difference between big and small... he can't differtiate.. it's total madness... but then again... it was nice of him to help me find plaster although in the end... it was Ping that got it for me... so no thanks to him...

i cut my finger... and hit my another finger on a chair till it went numb... all by accident... what is so up with the stuff at school... they suck...

the peeps in Pe0101 went geylang again today... but i didn't tag along.. cos i just didn't have the mood to... all i thought of was going home to get some rest before another draining day at school... school's stressful... i suppose that phrase has already appeared a million times before... or maybe a billion or trillion or infinity times... but i really have to repeat that it sucks and it's stressful... cos it's a plain fact... *sigh*

i bought cute plasters to bandage my poor finger... hahaha... plain ones looks plain... hahah... *doh*

*******the following section is just an opinion... no offence or directing anyone... =D***********
blog wars are stupid... tagboard wars are even stupid-ier... get a life to those peeps that do that... wanna quarrel... do it face to face... more entertaining and interesting that way... quarrel over what people blog... isn't that like dumb???? oh well... i suppose that how some people love to communicate... the dumb way... =D
**********************************REMINDER***************************************
the above short paragraph is just an opinion...
no offence and not directing anyone in particular...
************************************************************************************

gotta get back to my RJ already... =S chao chao... *i want crunchie*

2005-10-23T23:29:00.000+08:00

i was being huanted by Ms Wong's blog song for the past few minutes... and it's really kinda creepy... and it always happens... time to change the whole thing darling... you're creeping your darling out... she won't want to go there anymore you know... =D

it took my about 3 days to complete the puzzle Ms Lau gave me... 3 days!!! amazing ain't it? =D okay... maybe to some puzzle do-ers it's no deal... and most probably be done within day... but for my case... i'm no puzzle do-er... i get fed up easily and just totally give up on it.. but this time round... i completeled it... with no missing pieces... cool huh... =D i'm gonna get another... Ms Lau... do you wanna pick one for me again? this time it's a gift from me to you... a complete puzzle that is... in other words... i make the puzzle for you... so you go pick a picture... deal?=D

i'm getting fat... help!!!! i need to start jogging... but whenever i come home after school i'm just too tired to go... school's stressful and draining... and torturous... and horrible... and whatever bad thing you can think of.. bottom line is that it sucks... to the core.. absolutely... how can anyone love school? they are weird if they do... abnormal... very totally definitely absolutely... i've said it... =D

i'm having a migraine now... i think i'm getting tired... or rather... i AM tired... tomorrow's worse... another boring day of science with a sucky fac... where i don't understand whatever she's saying... god... i hope when i'm in year 2 i don't have facs that sucks like hell.. and make my life miserable... *sigh*

that's about it.. chao chao... *pain**pain**pain**faints*

2005-10-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

what's done when i still love my ex?
nothing...
what's done when i like someone new?
nothing...
what's done when i'm bored?
nothing...
what's done when i'm sad?
nothing...
what's done when i miss my past?
nothing...
what's done when i want a tabby persian?
nothing...
what's done when i can't forget?
nothing...
what's done when i have stupid cramps?
nothing...
what's done when my dad keeps picking on me?
nothing...
what's done when i feel that something's bugging me?
nothing...
what's done when i know that the past will never come back?
nothing...
what's done when i feel tired of pretending?
nothing...
so what's actually done?
nothing...

train rides makes me sleep...
car rides makes me sleep...
cramps makes me sleep...
talking on the phone makes me sleep...
watching TV makes me sleep...
presentations makes me sleep...
crying makes me sleep...
puzzles makes me sleep...
music makes me sleep...
stoning makes me sleep...
school makes me sleep...
having a bloated meal makes me sleep...
is everything making me sleep?
perhaps...

i miss happy memories with him...
i miss having a shoulder to lean on when i'm sleeping...
on the train standing, sitting...
on the bus sitting, standing...
i miss having someone dear to hug...
i miss the hand holdings...
i miss feeling blessed by love...[even if it was all an act]
i miss feeling loved...
i miss giving my love all out...
i miss the times i skipped school just to be with him...
i miss missing him...
i miss the arguments we had...
i miss crying for him even
though many thought it wasn't worth...
even me...
i miss late night talks with him...
i miss the nonsense that i can give him as and when i like...
and he just takes it quietly and smiles...
i miss blabbering about life and school to him...
i miss just watching him do his stuff...
and i just stare at him...
i miss having him by my side...
i miss his messages...
i miss going to his house and do nothing...
i miss doing nothing with him...
i miss his smiles...
i miss his silly arguments with his friends...
i miss being able to be there for him when he needs me...
i miss hearing him say "i love you"...
i miss receiving the morning calls from him...
and later making fun of what i did when i just woke up...
i miss hearing him say he called just to check up on me...
i miss being able to nag at him to study...
i miss our silliness...
i miss disturbing him...
i miss giving him boxes of stuff on special days...
i miss browsing through the men's section and say to myself
"i should get that for him..."
i miss shopping for him...
i miss movie times with him...
where we would cuddle together...
and hold each other tight...
i miss waiting for his calls and messages...
i miss a million things about him and i...
but will he ever feel the same?
will he ever miss the things we had?
perhaps...
but the odds are low...

back to reality...
i've lost him...
i'm moving on...
and he already did move on...
i'm silly at love...
i'm blind at love...
i'm hopeless at love...
i'm just too crazy in love with him...
to see sense in anything...
i'm a wreck...
but i pray to myself...
to give me the strength to move on...
even if i have to lie to myself about being happy...
even if it's not right to decieve myself...
even if i'm not that strong...
even if i have to pretend about everything...
even if i have to be who i'm really not...
the old me vanishing...
putting up a strong front...
that's the new me...
that's me now...
never gonna cry for anyone...
or anything anymore...
till someone gives me a reason to...

2005-10-18T14:46:00.000+08:00

i'm blogging while my class's presenting.. i'm so bored... mentally drain... i hate maths... i hate computing... i hate the facilitator... i just hate school... everyone's so busy today... no time to even have lunch.. what's so up with tuesday?? monday blues are over... ain't it??
the tabby cat i want... Mr Tan(da ge) doesn't believe me it's a real cat... but she's really real... and just gorgeous... too gorgeous to believe... i'm gonna buy her kind next time... Mr Lim(cottagemate)... brace yourself and prepare to welcome her... =D she's the queen of our cottage... =D oh god... she's a beauty... no wonder a lady like me love her... Ms Lau... wanna get her for me?=D she's a Tabby Persian... i'm sure you know that... hahaha...

i've plan to migrate out of this country once i have the ability to... that means... if my parents were to send me off to let's say Aussie, i'm gonna save up to buy a cottage by the beach in the countryside... with my tabby persian which will be named... Crunchie... yup yup... named after my favourite chocolate... =D and Mr Lim would join me cos he's agreed to be my cottagemate... and my precious Ms Lau when she's on vacation... and my darling Ms Wong when she needs to just get away... ahhhh... life... =D

garden parties would be arranged... where all our closest friends and family would just get together for the sake of doing so... i love parties... with such perfect weather... weeeeeweeeweeee.....

flowerbeds would surround my cottage... mainly daisies... cos i love them... and a big big apple tree near by with a swing... and a big oak tree to make a treehouse... that'll be where my workplace be... and fruits trees at my backyard... my bedroom would be in the attic... an attic bedroom... cosy ain't it... brick-walled cottage... those you see in London.. some sort like Anne Hathaway's cottage... if that's how you spell her name... very very cosy eh... =D that's why i love cottages...

i've closed my ears for 3 teams to write this blog already... hahaha... see what boredom does to one?? =D i wanna go home... i wanna sleep... and wanna just be brain dead for a week!!!!!!

the printing on my hand... pretty ain't it?? i like it...

that's it... chao chao...

2005-10-15T00:18:00.000+08:00

today's a happy day for this lady...

craves been satisfied...

MacDonalds'... simply delicious...

Cai Tao Gui... as black as can be... i like it...

i have hanna on my hand...

yippee!!!!

it's so pretty...

my class doesn't know what's humour...

what a sad class...

LAUGH PEOPLE...

THE JOKES ARE FUNNY!!!!

LAUGH!!!!

that's all i have to say... short and sweet... the first ever... chao chao...

2005-10-13T08:29:00.000+08:00

this is the show and story i like best... =D

Nightmare Before Christmas

It was late one fall in Halloweenland,
and the air had quite a chill.
Against the moon a skeleton sat,
alone upon a hill.

He was tall and thin with a bat bow tie;
Jack Skellington was his name.
He was tired and bored in Halloweenland

"I’m sick of the scaring, the terror, the fright.
I’m tired of being something that goes bump in the night.
I’m bored with leering my horrible glances,
And my feet hurt from dancing those skeleton dances.
I don’t like graveyards, and I need something new.

There must be more to life than just yelling,
‘Boo!’"

Then out from a grave, with a curl and a twist,
Came a whimpering, whining, spectral mist.
It was a little ghost dog, with a faint little bark,
And a jack-o’-lantern nose that glowed in the dark.
It was Jack’s dog, Zero, the best friend he had,
But Jack hardly noticed, which made Zero sad.

All that night and through the next day,
Jack wandered and walked.
He was filled with dismay.
Then deep in the forest, just before night,
Jack came upon an amazing sight.
Not twenty feet from the spot where he stood
Were three massive doorways carved in wood.
He stood before them, completely in awe,

His gaze transfixed by one special door.
Entranced and excited, with a slight sense of worry,
Jack opened the door to a white, windy flurry.

Jack didn’t know it, but he’d fallen down
In the middle of a place called Christmas Town!
Immersed in the light, Jack was no longer haunted.
He had finally found the feeling he wanted.
And so that his friends wouldn’t think him a liar,

He took the present filled stockings that hung by the fire.
He took candy and toys that were stacked on the shelves
And a picture of Santa with all of his elves.
He took lights and ornaments and the star from the tree,
And from the Christmas Town sign, he took the big letter C.

He picked up everything that sparkled or glowed.
He even picked up a handful of snow.
He grabbed it all, and without being seen,

He took it all back to Halloween.

Back in Halloween a group of Jack’s peers
Stared in amazement at his Christmas souvenires.
For this wondrous vision none were prepared.
Most were excited, though a few were quite scared!

For the next few days, while it lightninged and thundered,
Jack sat alone and obsessively wondered.
"Why is it they get to spread laughter and cheer

While we stalk the graveyards, spreading panic and fear?
Well, I could be Santa, and I could spread cheer!
Why does he get to do it year after year?"
Outraged by injustice, Jack thought and he thought.
Then he got an idea. "Yes. . .yes. . .why not!"

In Christmas Town, Santa was making some toys
When through the din he heard a soft noise.
He answered the door, and to his surprise,

He saw weird little creatures in strange disguise.
They were altogether ugly and rather petite.
As they opened their sacks, they yelled, "Trick or treat!"
Then a confused Santa was shoved into a sack
And taken to Halloween to see mastermind Jack.

In Halloween everyone gathered once more,
For they’d never seen a Santa before
And as they cautiously gazed at this strange old man,

Jack related to Santa his masterful plan:
"My dear Mr. Claus, I think it’s a crime
That you’ve got to be Santa all of the time!
But now I will give presents, and I will spread cheer.
We’re changing places I’m Santa this year.
It is I who will say Merry Christmas to you!
So you may lie in my coffin, creak doors, and yell, ‘Boo!’
And please, Mr. Claus, don’t think ill of my plan.
For I’ll do the best Santa job that I can."

And though Jack and his friends thought they’d do a good job,
Their idea of Christmas was still quite macabre.
They were packed up and ready on Christmas Eve day
When Jack hitched his reindeer to his sleek coffin sleigh,
But on Christmas Eve as they were about to begin,
A Halloween fog slowly rolled in. Jack said,
"We can’t leave; this fog’s just too think.
There will be no Christmas, and I can’t be St. Nick."

Then a small glowing light pierced through the fog.
What could it be?. . .It was Zero, Jack’s dog!

Jack said, "Zero, with your nose so bright,
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?"
And to be so needed was Zero’s great dream,
So he joyously flew to the head of the team.
And as the skeletal sleigh started its ghostly flight,

Jack cackled, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

‘Twas the nightmare before Christmas, and all though the house,
Not a creature was peaceful, not even a mouse.
The stockings all hung by the chimney with care,
When opened that morning would cause quite a scare!
The children, all nestled so snug in their beds,
Would have nightmares of monsters and skeleton heads.
The moon that hung over the new-fallen snow

Cast an eerie pall over the city below,
And Santa Claus’s laughter now sounded like groans,
And the jingling bells like chattering bones.
And what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a coffin sleigh with skeleton deer.
And a skeletal driver so ugly and sick
They knew in a moment, this can’t be St. Nick!
From house to house, with a true sense of joy,
Jack happily issued each present and toy.

From rooftop to rooftop he jumped and he skipped,
Leaving presents that seemed to be straight from a crypt!
Unaware that the world was in panic and fear,
Jack merrily spread his own brand of cheer.

A monstrous train with tentacle tracks,
A ghoulish puppet wielding an ax,
A man eating plant disguised as a wreath,
And a vampire teddy bear with very sharp teeth.

There were screams of terror, but Jack didn’t hear it,
He was much too involved with his own Christmas spirit!
Jack finally looked down from his dark, starry frights
And saw the commotion, the noise, and the light.

Was heard, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

Jack pulled himself up on a large stone cross,
And from there he reviewed his incredible loss.
"I thought I could be Santa, I had such belief"
Jack was confused and filled with great grief.
Not knowing where to turn, he looked toward the sky,
Then he slumped on the grave and he started to cry.

And as Zero and Jack lay crumpled on the ground,
They suddenly heard a familiar sound.

"My dear Jack," said Santa, "I applaud your intent.
I know wreaking such havoc was not what you meant.
And so you are sad and feeling quite blue,
But taking over Christmas was the wrong thing to do.
I hope you realize Halloween’s the right place for you.

There’s a lot more, Jack, that I’d like to say,
But now I must hurry, for it’s almost Christmas day."
Then he jumped in his sleigh, and with a wink of an eye,
He said, "Merry Christmas," and he bid them good bye.

Back home, Jack was sad, but then, like a dream,
Santa brought Christmas to the land of Halloween.

THE END

weee weee weeee

2005-10-10T23:36:00.000+08:00

it's been awhile i was here... blogging my time away... but since i've got a show to wait for... why not... right? right...

school's bad as usual... i was late... damn late... the latest i have come so far... all because of a stupid adaptor... how could i forget the next most essential thing for school... i think i'm suffering from memory loss... =X first was labby... then my phone... and now my adaptor... what's next? my wallet? my life? my whole self? what's soo wrong with my memory...

i do remember one thing though... i saw a Utt look alike... i don't know if it's him... cos he ain't a DJ at perfect 10... but he really looks like him... but oh well... he's still cute all the same... hahahahah.... i need cute guys around me... it brightens the day since i have no pretty girls to see especially in school... cos she's in blk N... =( why am i so obesessed with her? god knows...

i've got a compliment from diney and ping's classmate... but then... it got me wondering... what exactly IS pretty? i wanna be pretty... but am i really? what others see as pretty could be ugly... like some people say fishies are pretty... but to me.. they are all the same... plain ugly... but then again... what right do i have to say that something's ugly? what if someone ugly's pretty actually and someone pretty's actually ugly... is telling someone that he or she's pretty help him or her? does it actually makes them feel better? then again... people would be wondering if i'm saying this... then why is May Yip pretty? well... if you look at her... she is indeed pretty... she has this flawless face... slim figure... nice hair... and from what i see... a nice character... so she IS pretty... i'm not defending her... just seeing it from my perspective... whether or not if it's true that she's a real nice person... i wouldn't know... cos i only see her once a week and for only half a year...

the word "pretty" is a very soothing weird to most girls... cos it makes them feel noticed isn't it? cos if she's not pretty... would someone actually bother noticing and telling her that she's ugly? i don't suppose so... the word "ugly" however... is a taboo... but people use it more than they should... and sometimes it could hurt someone real real real bad... unless that person doesn't mind... but most cases... i guess they'll fall in a very low morale and soon depression... that's how powerful one word could do... scary isn't? words have to be picked out very carefully when saying... or even typing out here... pretty's different from charm... and charm is different from attractive...

a pretty girl with no charm makes her just plain pretty... but imagine someone that's looks sooo plain.. and yet... she charms almost everyone that crosses her path... regardless the gender... there are people who do have that powerful charm... i am of course not one of them... my charm level probably nil... being attractive's not exactly being charming either... charms are short lived... the desire only last awhile... but attractiveness holds the attractor's desire for quite long cos they give them a sense of challenge... a challenge to get her yet they know it's close to impossible... that attractiveness is had to come by... not many has that ability to do that... and i'll admire that person that has that ability... =D

i don't know if i do make sense... but heck... i like what i say... hahahahhahaa.... that's about for today... chaoz...

......................

2005-10-05T01:18:00.000+08:00

it's 1 plus and i'm here blogging... guess i can't sleep again... so i'm gonna write about my life once more...

yesterday was the first day of school.. and it sucked big time... the only thing pleasant was that my old class still hang out together... now i'm starting to appreciate my old class... missing the times with them... and i miss my facs... i miss my pretty fac!!!! yes... i'm obsessed with her... so what... she's just too pretty to forget... i can't help it... i have a thing for pretty teachers... so what... sue me if you don't like it... but i'm still gonna like her... my currently fac ain't good looking or pretty at all... it's very saddening... new class ain't fun either... they are soooo unfriendly... worst than initially i stepped into PE0101... *sigh* and now... we are practically spending every time possible with our old class... so is it our fault that we don't socialize cos we are always with our old class instead of the new? but who can help it... with an unfriendly bunch... who wants to socialize... none of them look friendly at all... not one bit... plus... they are sooo chiina... they speak chinese all the time... it's so hard to communicate like that... shouldn't we be speaking the international language since we are multi-racial... why speak our mother tongue? going to school now is really chore... worst than before... HELP!!!!!

hari raya puasa has officially started... it's walking through geylang pasar malam now!!!! yay... i don't know if they call it a pasar malam... but it seems like one... it's a huge pasar malam that last for a month or more i think... =D it's time to do Hanna... fun fun... old class peeps are planning to go there and have fun... weeee.... can't wait... that's the most fun during hari raya puasa... maybe we should go visiting too... haha... =D

the modelling thingy is bugging me... on monday... 3 BHI scouters approach me... and i was thinking to myself... do i really have the potential? if it's Elite scouters... i would definitely give my no. without much thinking... but that's the thing about prestigious modelling agencies... they don't hunt you... you hunt them... will my runway dream actually come true? school's dateline to participate is tomorrow... the actual dateline is on 14th october... part of me want to... but another part don't want to... cos i think it's a waste of time... though it's a dream of mine... but then again... i have many dreams... maybe this one ain't meant to come true... it's suppose to stay hidden as a fantasy... will there be such a chance next year again? i havn't seen this previous years before... this year then i knew there's such competition... is this a sign? an opportunity to realize my dream? a chance to walk the runway? a once in a lifetime experience? my sister was willing to be my legal guardian to help me enter... but is this all really neccessary? many questions pops up when i considered registering... we'll continue seeing... i don't have a proper photo of me to help me enter the competition anyway... maybe it's all part of the sign... =D

that's about it... chao chao...

]*[Her Ladyship Yearns For An ipodNano... 7 weeks Of Starvation... She Can Do It...]*[

2005-10-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

school's tomorrow... sigh... so fast... but i have a nice class no. though... haha... it's 0202 last sem was 0101.. now 0202... how cool is that eh... haha... i have someone i know in my new class... i guess it's a good thing eh.. not so lonely... =D but sad thing is.... my stupid class is so far away from the canteen and everything... it's sooo sooo soooo deep inside... that's totally stupid... stupid school... *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

elite's looking for a new face... but i can't see their own models... although i do indirectly know one of their models Mariam... you know... the M1 model? the winner for Newpaper new face... cos she's from my primary and secondary school... and she used to be my sister's goody friend... so yeah... from what i see... she's pretty... so i guess the criteria of being their model is high... i always wonder what it feels like walking on the runway... it has always been my dream to be one of them... although i'm not really depending on modelling to be my future career... i prefer to see it as a passion... i don't like being face models... although face models are just as cool... cos you get to tke lots and lots and lots of pictures... =D but walking on the runway gives a total different feeling... cos all attention is on you... and you have a big respondsibility to make the designer's clothes look good to appeal to the audience... it's something i don't know how to explain... but would definitely give me an "over the world" feeling... =D many people did ask me to be a model... but i suppose what i'm really looking for is this kinda modelling... being on the runway... looking all glamourous... having everyone's eyes on me... being face models definitely has lots of eyes on you since you'll be pasted everywhere... but feeling it live.. it's different...

i was at a fashion show before... it's Paul&Joe's summer/spring collection launch... and i happen to have free tickets to go in... it was laid out very simply and plain... but when the show started... all the plain-ness was gone... all attention was on the runway... and the models were woah!!! and i was also like woah!! i love models... i love the runway more... =D i actually got to take a few pics with them actually... and seriously... they're like perfectly flawless beings... sometimes i wonder if they're even human... they are perfect... the body... the face... the hair... i don't really know them... so i can't talk about personality... but they aren't haughty... so i suppose... they might be nice people... whatever it is... they are gorgeous...

oh well... dreams are still dreams... and i'll probably be walking on the runway in my dreamland or lalaland... or whatever that is nice land... or my hollywood heaven... i guess i have to stick back to more realistic ones... working hard to get into the uni to be a researcher and stay in the lab for the rest of my working life till i retire... =D but then again... i don't see any harmin registering... it's FOC!!! haha... money won't be wasted... haha... i have 12 days to decide if i should just register for the fun of it... i'm quite sure i won't be able to get in anyway... so try also won't hurt... haha... i'm sooo rubbish... haha...

that's it... i'm done dreaming about the runway... i'm gonna go to my hollywood heaven again... to continue that dream... =D chao chao...

2005-09-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhh.... another day of nothing... =D but it's gonna be taken away from me soon...=( *sigh* good things goes fast eh... oh well... yesterday was all about mahjong... =D played till we got bored... okay... i came late... so didn't play much... but still fun lar... and was with the babes before that...

it's kinda sad that the one that you loved so much once can't continue to be friends... there's so much i wanna say to him yesterday at the bus stop... and not just some deafening silence... i don't know... it's like... we can't talk like we used to... like we were even before we got together... even before i started loving him... how is it that things can turn out this way? is it me or is it him? or is it the both of us?? i wanna just blab out everything to him with my endless complaints and stuff like that... and feel at ease around him... all that bullshit about being friends after we're over... why say it if he's not gonna do it? why even bother? is it good that way? hmmmm.... being in love and the after effect are not a bit good at all... why can't he just talk to me like nothing happened? if he does that... i'll also do that... and life's must better... but no... he had to make it obvious that we were once together... that we were through... draw a clear line and stuff like that... well... then why don't he just delete me too??? dumb arse... god... i'm starting to scold him again... and that's not suppose to be the aim... the aim of me even saying this is actually i just feel that is kinda stupid for us to not talk to each other at all... i mean... what's the whole point of avoiding... it won't make you any less idiotic... it'll only make you even more childish... he never gets the point in anything... what's the whole point in losing a friend... *sigh* are things really that bad between us that we really have to be that distant between each other? i mean... to me... he's really not that level yet... maybe to a sec 2 or 3 fellow... his mind is something... but does that mean i can't befriend him? or that he can't befriend me? i'm fine being around him... but is he?? from what i'm seeing... i don't think so... it's like i'm the one whole ended it all... but the whole truth is the other way round... so why's he giving the cold silent treatment? if he didn't feel comfortable being around me then don't bother waiting for the bus with me... that'll only make things more awkward with us... he can't just take his stupid phone and leave... why pretend to be nice... where's his peuny brain... don't say what you can't do Mr Tan[the arse]... get a life... by the way... you're a fashion disaster... please update your wardrobe..[that's for the arse too]

that's it... chao chao...

blah blah blah blih blih....

2005-09-25T01:18:00.000+08:00

now's a sunday... so recap on 2 days ago... which is..... FRIDAY....

friday's soya bean milk day... i took 2hours plus to make that stupid milk and it didn't turn out well cos it was all powdery and stuff... so it was wasted... played the PS with my sister... i didn't really play... cos she wanted to unlock more cars... so i watched... kinda exciting actually... =D then i watch part 2 of my inuyasha movie no.3 without watching the part 1... kinda dumb... but it finished loading first... so obviously i watch it first right... anyway... had conference call with diney jenni and ping... and apparently our class dear clinston organized something without realizing that some others are also organnizing and both happen to fall on the same day and so we decided to just go with our original plan and clinston's gathering can wait another day... =D NYDC lunch date with diney ping jenni... and porbably the whole class... it's soooo hard to gather everyone during the hols... ain't easy organizing something... after the conference call and everything... i fell asleep... so move on to saturday now...

saturday was spent in JB... yup yup... grocery shopping and bought more Burnout and Need For Speed Underground and a movie... FF movie... something called Advent Children.. i think... looks good... so got it... =D bought my hamstie food... and while i was at the pet shop buying the food... i saw a baby monkey on sale... that's like pure cruelty... and it seriously looked pathetic... how can the government actually let this happen... sigh... and they were selling some endangered tortoise and my dad told me it was illegal... how can the shop landlord actually allow that??? sigh... poor animals... they got lots of animals that they shouldn't be selling and yet no one cares... they had kitty cats at the shop too... 2 only... and they are like soo soo soooooo cute... so want to bring them home... but i can't... cos it's hard to smuggle it back... plus... my dad would never agree to it... hamsties are still fine with him... but he never has a soft spot for kitty cats... but my mum's intending on getting one... but only after Coco dies... which is like... no fair... why can't we have both at the same time... kitty cat in my room and my care... Coco in his wonderland and in everybody's care... happy happy... but no... sigh... anyway... ate alot in JB... i putting on weight... =( and i havn't exercise... oh my... =( got to slim down again... i can do it... =D i think that's about it for what went on for saturday... not much special happenings... one thing i forgot to mention... DO NOT GO TO A RESTAURANT IN YONG PENG CALLED HONG HWA... I REPEAT... DO NOT GO TO A RESTAURANT IN YONG PENG CALLED HONG HWA... their toilet cubicles in the ladies are creepy... they have sipidies with ultra long legs hanging on the ceiling... and they are BIG... real BIG... it freaked me out and i came out of the cubicle immediately... if you really have to use the toilet... i suggest DO NOT LOOK UP... yeah... cos i made the mistake of looking up and freaked myself out... stupid spidies... curses to them... $^*@#!!! =D

ATTENTION ALL SMOKERS:

i suppose that's about all i've got to say about those 2 days... i'm gonna shower now... till then... chao chao... =D

to have a title... or to not have a title... that is the question...

2005-09-23T01:17:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha... i don't know why i did that... but i just felt like doing that... hahaha... anyway... today i'm suppose to go cycling... but it rained.. we're still suppose to go cycling but they just kept on playing DOTA[stupid game...] we still hoped to go cycling... but they still kept on playing... so... no cycling.. sucks... but at least we played mahjong... =D and playing with 2 beginners was funny... cos they'll be playing and then they'll be winning... and one game took almost like 15 mins to end.. that's like sooo slow... but oh well... at least it's fun playing.. =D

i have a stupid blue-black on my wrist... =( i don't even remember hitting myself against something... and the funny thing is... it doesn't even hurt.... how weird is that huh?? am i sick or something??? oh my... that's bad... but i don't suppose so... cos i'm feeling fine... just occassionally a little dizzy... but fine... =D bruises pop out just like that on me... and it's kinda scary... it's as if i'm trying to hurt myself... which is sooooo not true... i mean... why would i wanna do that? i'm happy with myself and the way things are... so i'm definitely not self-destructive... so don't go thinking that way or i'll hang you upside down and bite your head off... or maybe just bite you hard enough to leave a mark... the point here is i'm not violent... not on myself especially... and that's what i have to say... i'm a lady... i don't do things that hurt... not to myself most certainly... i'm nice... see?=D so many smiles... =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D smiley smiley smiley.... =D

that's all... chao chao... and i'm not self-destructive... =D

what's title? why must have title? how to have a title? when is it a title? who say must have title?

2005-09-21T20:59:00.000+08:00

today's the 21st of september... it's also the no. 19 day of my hols... damn... it's fast... how can time pass soo fast... i'm not enjoying it enough yet... i'm not ready to go back to that crappy school... i DON'T want to go back to that stupid retarded school... I HATE SCHOOL!!!! okay... it's nice to say that out... =D damn... i hate education... haha... but i wanna work in the lab... and mix stuff... and do research and stuff... damn... i hate studying... sigh... but that's life ain't it... =D life's weird... totally...

i had a bad tummy upset today... =( i don't know how to spell that d-word... and i think not many does... it starts with a d ends with an e has some rs in between... and an i and some other letters... but i can never get the spelling right... i bet those kids in the SpellingBee can't get it right either... but if they do... someone please tell me... cos i want that person to spell it out for me... =D but in encarta it's spelt as diarrhea... so yeah... i suppose it's spelt like that although i do remember it's not exactly spelt that way... but that doesn't matter... the matter here is had that thing... which sucks... but my tummy's flat... =D that's good ain't it?? haha...

my burnt finger's blister burst... haha... i accidentally burst it.. haha... and it didn't hurt one bit... and it ain't that gross... hahahaha.... so not it's flat and stuff... so i guess it's not biggie anymore... =D

okay... here's a game of taboo... only the person involved knows what i'm trying to say here... so don't try too hard to understand it... =D

i' glad that lalala and dadada are lululu... maybe this shows that that thingy's really you know... so i suppose lalala should be relieved about it... although you might say it's the you know but i assure you it's will never be... cos with this kinda thingy... it's soo obvious lalala and dadada are meant for lalaladadada... having said that... i hope that lalala and dadada will never go through this kinda thingy again so that lalala won't be sooo you know... cos the big thingy is coming soon... and lalala should be concentrating on the biggie instead of you know... although you know's still important... but not as important as the biggie... so ya... that's about it...

so it ain't that hard to play taboo eh... go figure and fill in the blanks... hahaha... but a secret's a secret... so i guess it'll make sense to the lady concerned... =D

that's all for today's thoughts... chao chao...

no titile... no title... NO TITLE!!!! =D

2005-09-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

today's my darling Ms Lau's day... wanna say happy day to you again... although... it's already past your day... hmmm... i wonder if she ever sees this... oh well... it's nice to give her a greeting anyway again... whether she sees this or not... doesn't really matter... i'm happy with what i wrote... =D

i've read your bloggie Ms Wong.. and i think i'm gonna dedicate the following to you again... i think others won't be interested in seeing this already... sooooo.... VAMUS!!! =D [you can stay if you want... but it'll be boring i think... =D]

okay honey... times are getting rough for you... and i think you should pull yourself together... if he's really that unfaithful... then hell with him... you deserve someone better you know... don't cry over something that's spoilt rotten... take it as you gave your love to the wrong one and that you made the wrong choice... so you decided to go with the cooling off idea then you know that you should be prepared for the worst... but of course... having some hope that things might work out would be nice... =D the point my darling is that i guess maybe it's a sign for you to maybe have a change of enviroment... you get what i mean? life isn't that bad without a guy... =D think of the other good stuff... you don't have to hide from your parents anymore... you don't have to report to anyone about what you do... and you're not tied down... you're free... free-er than whatever freedom you're feeling now... i suppose that should cheer you up with that kinda thought... doesn't it? besides... you have such good and close friends around... you don't have to be afraid of feeling lonely or anything... cos they'll definitely be there to see you through the whole thing without fail... a chapter of your life probably just ended... so write chapter 17 or whatever chapter no. it'll be... just be happy... now it's my turn to tell you... don't think so much... look forward and be happy... you've got more important things to deal with now... one can survive without the opposite sex for a period of time... a break for you perhaps? =D on the bad side... there's no more sponsor of course... but that's no biggie... be independant for awhile... your sponsor will come soon... =D but when your real real real REAL partner comes... he's never a sponsor already... =D choose a new book to read if it's a must... maybe the old one's a wee bit too boring that's why things happen... life's a show... so when it gets too rocky... change a new scene and act it out... that'll make your life and everyone's perfecto... =D what you gave can't be taken back... so don't bother about spilt milk... go take a new bottle... haha... you get what i'm saying don't you... if it's a little to complex for you to understand... here's my bottom line... life's a movie... don't get stuck in one scene... cos there're better scenes out there waiting to be discovered... be happy... and never look back... only occasionally if you have to... =D love you babe... don't be sad anymore ya?? it's not the end of the world yet... =D

i'm soooo back to my old self telling people how to deal with life and stuff... sometimes... i also wonder where did all these logic come from... hopefully it does make sense... cos to me... all that i just said... does make some sense... maybe because i'm the one saying it... =D well... chao chao for now... hopefully she reads it... =D life's sooo wierd... =D

untitled...

2005-09-19T15:33:00.000+08:00

i got a burnt!!!! =( my mum burnt me accidentally and now it becomes a rather big blister on my finger... =( have the temptaion to burst it though... haha... it's like a burstable lump you see... and i wanna burst it... but of course i can't... cos first it'll be gross... and second... it'll heard... so no way... i'm scared of pain... not denying it... =D

yesterday i took almost 2 hours to make my bloggie nice... and just did some new edition to it today... i love the cursors especially... =D and i think my tagboard's kinda nice too... haha... the smilies can move... you people should try it... haha...

i totally wasted 2 days... yesterday and today... haha... yesterday i woke up at like close to 4 and did nothing much... laze around... download Maple... which is like soo cute... but i can't seem to but clothes like in gunbound though... and i keep getting disconnected.. but i'm levelling up fast... hahaha... anyway... back to what i did... erm... ooo... i was up till 5 plus in the morning partly because of my bloggie template... cos i was selecting the nice ones from blogskin.com first... and then just randomly choosing one for my blog which i soon settled on this one... =D anyway... ya... then after that i watched Inuyasha... the movie version... cos it finished before episode 2... and i can't find episode 3... hmmmmm..... anyone with the whole full series... care to lend me?? haha... but i doubt anyone i know will have it... cos no one really watch anime... i watch it occasionally too... it's on my SCV too... but it's in chinese and it's season 3 already... so yeah... it's still nice... but it's nicer in japanese... and i wanna know what's going on in the beginning first... oh well... it's not that important... and so today... i woke up late too... but not so late cos ANTS was souting at her top of her voice for me to come have lunch... which is sooooo irritating and noisy that i have no choice but to wake up... so yeah... and now... i'm here blogging at such a time... and most probably i'll blog again at night.. or maybe not cos i might be playing Maple... hehehe....

Ms The wrote me something... and now this part is to her... you may wanna read it still but it's mainly back to her... here goes...
Ms The:
it's nice to hear that you read my bloggie and stuff like that... and of course i got over that arse fast... cos if i didn't... i think i'll need to see a psychiatrist to find out what's wrong with my brain... hmmm.... that should be a neurosurgeon... anyway... ya.... maybe i was just dumb to actually like him... he may be cute... but his good looks won't take him anywhere if he doesn't have to brains you get what i mean... don't get me wrong that i'm hating him or something... i suddenly just feel sorry for him... cos he doesn't know what to do with his life... even his friends know what they wanna do... but for him... he doesn't seem to know where he's going... in his mind... there's only 3 things... basketball... money... and maybe spreading his spores... you may think i'm saying this cos i'm spiteful... but try being with him... which i think maybe your girlfriend might be... and you'll know... i'm not trying to be mean or anything... but i now know why he likes your girlfriend so much... firstly cos she rather work than study... and might also be because she lives with her boyfriends... so you know... she's gonna stay with him if they were to be together... but i don't think she wanna stay with him.. cos firstly... his bed is a single bed... he shares the room with his brother... and personally... i don't think it's fun staying at his house... =D you may feel very pissed that i'm saying that about your best friend as to why he'll like her... but maybe because what you told me that time made me think that way... cos a guy like him... is easier if he's just a fling... cos he fools around cos he knows he has the looks... but looks ain't everything... and one day he's gonna suffer... like what your guy said... play soo much... one day when it's real... he'll get played... =D

of course things will never be the same again... and i'm not really gonna out hope on that... friends come and go... and if a friendship's very strong it wouldn't break easily right? just take Ms Lau and me for an example... how many times did we quarrel and stuff like that? but in the end... we're still supporting each other... even though sometimes we disagree about stuff... but i suppose... when both of us are in need... we'll be by each other's side... i never expected her to be my closest cos she does have an attitude porblem... it was you that i thought would be taking her place actually... hahaha... cos we had so much in common and could practically understand each other at that time... but vuola... Ms Lau's the one that's the true one... as attitude as she can be and a big wierdo she is... she always seems to be there when i need her the most... even if she's busy with stuff... and never fails to make me smile... now that's what i call true blue friendship... =D i'm sooo in love with her... haha... but i'm straight... totally straight... just in case you're thinking i'm deciding to go the other way... =D

we definitely can talk all we want... friends do still talk... and if you've got problems... i'll also be your listening ear if your darling's busy... =D and i'm not in a rush to get myself a guy... the other trees out there can just maybe like books where i'll just browse through to see if it's interesting enough to sit through and complete reading the book... =D

so that's basically what i have to say to what you have wrote to me... double the length... haha... but all what i have in mind to say... =D if it did offended you in some way... i'm sorry... i'm frank if you remember... so i say what's on my mind... plus this IS a blog... so it's suppose to be frank... =D so yeah... hope you'll like to know what i'm trying to say here... and we're still friends... starting from scratch again... =D

HaPpY MiD-AuTuMn!!!

2005-09-18T00:14:00.000+08:00

the day passed very fast today i realized... i was waking up and the next thing i know... the party has ended and i'm here blogging... now... recap on what i did today... first i woke up... then i got changed and met Ms Wong to pass her the green slippers i got from bangkok... i personally like it... but i'm not sure if she does... oh well... anyway... back to what i did... after i came back... hmmmm.... i don't seem to remember... used the com awhile i supposed... then i helped with putting up the lights which i very nice... i got them from bangkok... i got one for myself too... but it's the balls one instead of lantern ones... anyway... ya.. after that... i went to buy my cake... Mocha Cake... from Bangawan Solo... it's very yummy and not 1 slice left... just nice... so ya... and then... i took a nice cold bath to get myself ready for the party... and the rest is history... i celebrated my late birthday with my biggest uncle... Tua-gu cos it was his actual day... and yeah... had karoke session where my very adorable little cuzzie sang... she's like 3 or 4 years old only? and she can actually sing quite well... hahaha.... very very very adorable in fact... haha... her sister's too young to sing like her... but still very cute... haha... show you her pic one day... and then that's the end of the party... everyone went home all feeling tired... i didn't talk about the lanterning walking thing... but of course that's something that we'll never forego... it's just a tradition for us to do that... kids going to the park... adults staying home to talk and stuff... =D pretty busy day today... i guess my hols's not that wasted after all... hahahah...

i'm so tired out today... i'm gonna have a good sleep today... i can feel it... haha... and now it's late... hmmm... anyway... to Ms Wong... if you see this...

Ms Wong:
don't think too much about what's going on right now ya? this is a phase where every couple will go through and everyone would actually experience what you are feeling now... you see... this is the phase that is most important cos it's already testing how strong the bond between the both of you are... feel like giving up? well... don't... you'll regret it if you ever did that... maybe what you need is some attention... hinting it to him is possible... you have god brothers that are close to him... i'm sure they'll be able to let him know that he's neglecting you without realizing it... cos you see... it's always easier when his brothers tell him things... he'll most probably listen... he might not actually accept it at first... but after awhile... he will realize what he's doing and start being the sweet him again... the reason why he doesn't listen is because whenever you say that you're neglected he thinks you are just unreasonable... it happens to every guy... only when an outsider tells him then will he feel the same... only resort to the last way when you really think that you can't take it anymore... and the last resort is cooling off... why is this the last resort? cos it holds the possibility that you'll lose him for real... but if it turns out right, he'll be with you still and might even be a better person... you know what i'm trying to say? the cooling off period is to make both parties think of what they want... what they really seek in this whole relationship... and a test to see if both parties can still care for each other even though there's no contact... cos if one really cares about someone... in one way or another... he or she will find a way to know what's going on in that person's life... that's one stage where many people could not pass... only those that are truly truly in love with each other would be able to do so... however... it takes 2 to make this happen... if one party cares but the other doesn't... it's a goner... cos you'll know by then that he or she is fading away... but if both parties are doing the same thing to each other... you'll know that this is what you call a strong connection to each other... i may not be the best person to listen to for all these kinda thing.. cos i couldn't even deal with my own failed relationship but i think it taught me something... and that's never leave problems unsloved... and that's why i always tell you to no matter what tell him what you're unhappy about... even if he doesn't listen to you... you know that you tried... and if the time ever comes...[which i hope not...] at least you knew that you gave your best in the relationship by making understand and that it was he who didn't want to take things seriously... so ya... i hope all these helps...

and in the event that Mr Tan... i'm meaning your guy Mr Tan... not that arse Mr Tan... saw this and feels like killing me for saying all these stuff... well... too bad... you can't kill me... cos i'm not encouraging Ms Wong to leave you or anything... i'm just giving her my point of view cos she asked for it... but hey... i do make some sense here okay... just reflect on it... and maybe you'll see some light in it... i'm not some relatioship guru or anything... but i know what's good to do and what's bad to do... cos i have my own experience to speak from...[although it's only 1] and seeing it from a third party's view for several years from my precious people...[excluding Mr Lim] i picked up some lessons along the way... and i'm just sharing it with her... she can choose to take them... or just leave it... i can't control that... and neither can you... so just let her choose... =D

so yeah... i have my say already... hopefully it's useful... Ms Wong... don't think so much... wanna see you smile again like in the photo above... Mr Tan...[not that arse... the brother of that arse... boyfriend of Ms Wong] try listening and understanding instead of arguing back... and to the rest of the people out there... good night... =D chao chao...

wEiRd DrEaMs... fUnNy ThOuGhTs... sTuPiD CrAmPs!!!!

2005-09-17T00:56:00.000+08:00

for the past few days... i have been having weird dreams... concerning Mr Tan a.k.a The Arse... anyway... it seems that he keeps appearing in my dreams... like what's up with that... it's always when i'm with someone cute, he suddenly changes into that arse... totally spoiling the whole dream... and it's always the same case... what is sooo wrong with these dreams... can't i have something happy... it was happy till i realized it was him again.. and when i wake up... i'll be thinking... what was that alll about man... this is sooo wierd... and i only started having this kinda thingy when Ms Lau told me that she dreamt that i was back with him which is sooo not gonna happen... but then these dreams starts to come showing that i'll end up with him... freaky... but i suppose... if i took that as a good dream... it would appear as the opposite... and so... no worries about that... just feeling freaky about this kinda thingy... oh well... =D

it's funny how 2 very very very good friends so close like they're sisters drew apart under influence... and yup yup... i'm referring to myself... somehow... i don't know why i drew apart from my closest girlfriend who i shared everything with and she probably did likewise... i wouldn't know for sure... but i knew we did had a connection and a deep one... okay... this is not some kinda les confession... but something that happen that i kinda regretted... i mean... why did i even turn against her over the influence of a two-faced hypocritical cowardly gay??? thinking back... it's ridiculous... and now... talking to her again... feels as if nothing happened between us... just that of course we aren't besties anymore... she has her new one... and i have my all weathered Ms Lau... but it's kinda different with her though... we somehow seems to be able to talk about anything under the sun... i know i shouldn't be living in the past... but sometimes... the past is much much much better than the present... Ms Lau probably heard this a zilloion times before... but seriously... i don't have anything against her... she didn't do anything to me actually... i'm the only one that she didn't "harm"... she and Ms Lau had some feud that's unheard of... Ms Leow and her... well... let's just say... Ms Leow doesn't like brats... and it so happens that me and her fell into that category of brats cos we don't have much hardship compared to hers... so naturally... she doesn't like hanging out with her at that time... although now... she hangs around with her lots despite her total disgust for her... so ya... that's basically the history of the 4 girls... me... Ms The... Ms Lau... and Ms Leow... but the ones closest and dearest to me were Ms The and Ms Lau[who still is...] possibility of bringing these back to me is near to nil... but oh well... friends are still good... at least there's no hatred... just maybe some regrets... that's life i suppose... regrets along the way... with something better to mend the holes of regrets... losing my darling was regretful... but i still have my baby[Ms Lau] by my side... =D so it ain't that bad eh... ^.^

sometimes i wonder... why is it that when guys says they still wanna be friends after splitting and yet do otherwise... i mean... if that's the case then don't say it right... like how dumb can one be?? oh well... but seriously... i don't really think much about it... he can go ahead and try to break someone else's relationship... and see what he'll get... most likely... nothing??? duh... dumbarse... wait... this is a little spiteful... maybe i shall put it in nicer terms... good luck with the next poor girl[although she's not exactly] that you'll try to hook up with... hmmmm.... that still sounds spiteful... fine... i shan't try to make it nicer... you get the idea...

my stupid cramp's killing me... argh!!! it sucks being a girl when there's cramps... stupid cramps... why can't the guys be the one who suffers these kinda things since they are quite a jerk at some points?? huh? huh? huh? oh well... that's how Mother Nature wants it to be... so i suppose i just have to accept it... damn... =D

okay... so that's about what i have to say... chao chao...

mY dAy... wAs...

2005-09-16T00:03:00.000+08:00

my day just ended 3 minutes ago... not much went on... but i suppose it doesn't really matter how big the celebration was and stuff like that... it's the little things that actually happen... that's right... just a simple wish from people who actually remembers... and from my precious people like Ms Lau... my sisters... my parents... and the one & only old maid... =D presents don't really count that much... i mean... what are presents if they don't mean anything ya? well... just wanna say thanks to those who remembered my day... and those that don't... it's okay... now you know.. haha... but if you still don't... it's fine too... cos i don't really care... it's only those important people that have to remember... especially Ms Lau... hahaha...

last time... i used to think that presents counts alot... but after some time... i think only selfish people think that way... i mean so what if the present is expensive or that you actually recieved soo many presents... but if there isn't any thought with it doesn't that make it an empty present? of course i would love to get many and expensive presents... i mean... who doesn't... but small and cheap presnts or maybe no presents at all is fine with me too... who says presents are all that matters... i had this problem with someone before... and i guess he knows who he is if he's reading this... he keeps thinking of just presents and presents and how many people's gonna celebrate his day with him... and in his stupid mind... all he wants is a nice expensive present... and i told him to grow up... i got pissed off with his thinking actually... and made up my mind that i'll get him his stupid present and dress it all up nicely for that arse... and on the eve of his day... i gave it to him... and i suppose he should be damn happy that he recieved presents... and seriously... this kinda guy should just get a life and think... anyway... back to the topic... the whole point is... sometimes... maybe just some quiet time with your very closed ones on such an occassion are all that is needed... to give a present or not... it's totally up to the individual... of course... i do ask for presents... but that's just a joke... with no meaning at all... some thing to make fun of or something like that you know what i mean... by the way... that guy had his best present by his side all the time anyway... it's too bad that he too dumb and lifeless to even realized that... he'd rather something more material when he had a priceless one... conclusion... he's dumb... and immature... and has no life... okay... i'm not suppose to talk about him here... or rather not in this entry... some other time then say about him... hmmmmm.... come to think of it... he's not even worth talking about...

okay... so the whole day... i just sat around... recieved quite a few people's wishes... but was extremely pleased when i received wishes from people i want to receive from... thanks Mr Lim... thanks Ms Lau... thanks cuzzie Ms Ng... thanks jie and ah ling jie jie... thanks Daddy & Mummy... for the bangkok trip... that was the best gift ever... though i couldn't get you people things cos you don't seem to lack anything... =D [the above all the people that makes my day] and now... thanks to those who remembered... like Ms Foo... Ms Sing... Ms The... Ms Soh... Mr Ridzuan... Mr Tan...[the arse mentioned previously] so yeah... then it's just like any ordinary night... nothing special but contented with it... i'm contented with my slow moving life now...time passing without much worries and stuff like that... sometimes it does get boring cooping myself up at home... but i kinda like it actually... haha... weird huh.. and besides... my concession's expired... and i have no money to pay for it... so i suppose that's a sign to stay home and rot... =D maybe some running wouldn't make me bored... okay.. it's settled then... i'm gonna start running... it's gonna be bye-bye-flabby-legs... and hello-muscles... haha... lame... but i'm seriously gonna do some running... =D

that's about what i have to say about my day... time check... 12.40am... 37mins to write this... hmmm... =D chao chao...

tHe EvE oF mY dAy!!! wEeEeEeEe....

2005-09-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

today's the eve of my day... hahaha... i'm gonna be 17 soon... yayee... but still not 18.. but it's okay... 17's fine too... hahaha.... today's a day of editng photos to make them pretty... hahaa... and i'm happy with my creation.... you see... when one gets bored and has nothing to do, one starts editing photos to make oneself happy... and it does... it's kinda fun actually...you should try it... my cuzzie Ms Ng came over today... and we edited our photos to make them pretty like the one you're seeing now... and it's kinda nice actually... =D

the day passes real fast... almost 2 weeks of my hols is gone... man.. i hate that... how can time actually pass so fast... hate it... but that's reality... I NEED A JOB!!!!! okay... i said that like so many times and in this bloggie woggie here... everyone's sick of knowing that... but i'm still gonna say it... I NEED A JOB!!!!!!! okay... i said it... and i'm happy already... =D

idling ain't that bad after all i suppose... haha... when it's school time... everything seems to be in a rush... and now... everything just flows... you just glide through everything with no worries or whatsoever... i'm so dazy now... i don't even think... i'm brain dead... i'm a zombie... ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

this is so crappy... hahaha... but i don't care... probably anybody that's reading this doesn't understand what the hell i'm saying... but guess what... i don't too... haha... but sometimes ain't some entries not suppose to make any sense? it's just something to write about for the sake of writing and put down some meaningless thoughts for the fun of it... that's the beauty of blogging... even if you write nonsense... so what.... hahaha... i'm so cappy today... weeeweewee...

okay... my thinking stops here... chao chao...

bAcK tO rEaLiTy...

2005-09-14T01:41:00.000+08:00

the past 1 week passed very fast... one minute i was baking... next minute i'm on a spree... and then now... i'm back to reality being broke... hmmmmm.... how fascinating can it be eh... =D but at least i did enjoy myself the whole week... busy week actually... haha... bought lots of stuff... but couldn't buy souveneirs for my people... sorry guys... couldn't find something nice you see... and it's the truth... not an excuse...

it's 1 plus in the morning already... and i'm still not alsleep... well... i feel bad not staying home for dinner just now... if i had known they had prepared something good for me i would have come home... i'm sooo sorry... but i don't know how to say sorry to my parents... bake them muffins... will that do? =D i hope so... anyway... was out job hunting with Ms The today... it turned out to be not so bad actually... we seemed to have lots to say to each other and there were no awkward silence between us... that's good isn't it... haha... we exchanged stories about life... talked about the past... laugh at what we did last time... talked about school and work... sometimes i wonder how is it that we have so much to say even in the past... maybe because she's my clique and she has always been? haha... anyway... found 3 potential jobs and a few numbers to call... but kinda lazy to call though... haha... after that we went to take pictures and headed to cartel in siglap to just chill out and talk cos we didn't want to go home and do nothing... i feel so happy these days... and i have no idea why... haha... everything seems so happy even the bad things seems so right and happy... haha... i think i'm going out of my mind... hehe... but i think i'm okay with that... at least i'm not thinking too much now... everything's seems to go the way i want it to be... =D

tomorrow's muffin day... or maybe not... cos i don't have the mix... and i have to money to buy it... maybe i'll just watch tv and play the PS instead... hehe... Ms Ng will be coming tomorrow to maybe make something for her father for his birthday and stuff... haha... i have no idea what she wants to make... but oh well... i suppose it's still better than she buys something... haha... a whole day of slacking... and i'm gonna think of a way to make up to my parents for making them disappointed that i wasn't home for dinner... =D

okay... i think i'm gonna catch my beauty sleep already... and my complexion's worsening... HELP!!!! okay... so good night people... off to dreamland already... weeeeeeeeee..... chao chao...

wHo StoLe tHe CoOkiE fRoM tHe CoOkiE jAr... =)

2005-09-07T15:22:00.000+08:00

today's baking day... uh-huh.. haha... well... not exactly baking day... more specifically... cookies day... =D exactly 2 jars full and it's not burnt... haha... or rather... majority of it ain't burnt... an improvement in my cooking... haha... i'm a natural chef... totally... hmmm... next baking target... MUFFINS!!!!! hahaha... that'll be good too... muffins are nice... and easy to bake... but i'll never bake a cake... cos i think it's too complicated... plus... who's gonna eat the cake if it fails... it'll be so wasteful... by the way... the pic is the gift from Ms Lau... yup yup yup... pretty isn't it... till now... i havn't eaten the chocolates... cos it's too pretty with the roses... haha... anyway... what else should i bake... tag me and give me suggestions... haha... i'm gonna be the baking queen.. haha... where i'll bake anything and everything that's bakable...

stayed up late to do a puzzle yesterday and i'm not even close... it seems like i'm missing lots of the edges... Ms Lau's puzzle is full of missing pieces... oops... do i really have to get a new one? but it's sooo ex... of course in Lovely Land it is cheap... but oh well... i'm too broke to buy anything... i need INCOME!!!!! i need a JOB!!!!! ahhhhhhh..... anyone got lobang... tag me... tell me.... thanks eh... =D

okay... i suppose that's almost what i did today... gonna try doing that stupid puzzle... i don't know how Ms Lau actually can sit down there for hours and not get fustrated by it... =D chao chao...

nickalodeon.... cartoon network... disney channel... and more nick...

2005-09-06T12:03:00.000+08:00

the 4th day of my hols... and it's pure slacking... staying home all day watching the tv... i'm gonna be a couch potato soon... hahaha... i need to exercise... but no one for company... haha... hmmm.. i wanna learn guitar... but my mum's never gonna let me... sigh... i wanna go yoga too... my mum of course supports me cos she goes too... but i havn't been able to register for class... haha... plain laziness yeah... haha... oh well... haha...

on sunday... i didn't go for the cat show cos Ms Lau had to work... so... yeah... but i went for then tennis thing... haha... it was fun... in a way... and sean's house i really beautiful... the scenary and the GUEST ROOM!!!! hahaha... i love the guest room... makes me feel like a princess... hehe... but the thing with his condo is that it's sooo ulu.. and hidden... it's so hard to find it... anyway... by night... we went back to his house to have some snacks and at the same time we celebrated vanessa's birthday with the cake that happens to be there... haha... and then we snacked some more... haha... when we left it was rather late already... and i reached home nearly to 12... was too tired so i just went to bed... haha... and the rest is history... =D

yesterday was a day of lying on the couch as usual... =D and i finally talk to my sweetie Ms Leow... she's working now... full time... and we had a brief conversation... but i suppose it'll be hard to meet up if i want to... the whole gang together... how sweet... haha... i wanna go back to the past... when i'm single and happy and i'm living in my happy world with my dearies... but now i'll never be the same... but i'm moving on... yup yup yup... and it's fantastic... although it gets boring cos there's no one to go out with... cos they are all working... so they have no time for me... oh well... PS2 shall be my company now.. haha...

i left 3 more days to shopping... yup yup yup... haha... can't wait... all the stuff that im gonna buy... wooohooo... hahahahha.... it's the morning flight though... which means i have to wake up early... but it's okay... the thought of shopping will make me wake up... hahaha...

okay... so that's it for my day for 2 days... for now... it has yet to get started... but probably the same thing... tv and PS2... =D anyone wanna play mahjong? haha... tell me eh.. haha... mahjong session at my house... hehe... chao chao...

cat show... tennis... and sooooon......... SHOPPING!!!!

2005-09-04T11:03:00.000+08:00

the 4th of september.. busy day... hahaha... gonna go for a cat show later with my darling Ms Lau at 1.30... then we're gonna hang around and take pictures there till she needs to work.. then i'm going for my tennis session.. yup yup... haha.. need some exercise... haha... i think... for the whole month of this hols... i'm gonna tone up my body... haha... exercise to clear my mind... to be fit... haha... i wanna take up yoga to meditate.. haha... funny thought... but i just want it... haha... have no idea why... maybe i shall go there alone... and then see what kinda people i'll find there... =D

yesterday Ms Lau was so sweet... haha... uh-huh... she got me a bouquet of 3 roses and 3 chocolates... hahaha... ain't that nice of her? it's to cheer me up... well... i am... cos i know that i have such a bestie be myself whenever i'm in need... thanks darling... i love you sooo much... i'm sure jordan won't mind sharing you with me... =D we sang from 12 to 4 yesterday at Kbox and i scolded the people there especially the manager cos they were like soooo dumb... totally... and it felt good... haha... sick eh... haha... but i just feel happy scolding them... haha... after that i gave that guy his stuff... hang around for awhile with him... and of course with my darling and her girlfriend... bore the hell of him by shopping for clothes... and he left... haha... then me and them left too cos they had a dinner to attend and i was going to my grandma's house... it was Mr Lim's day yesterday and i gave him a birthday wish... but couldn't grant it cos i didn't have any idea what the hell it was.. haha... but oh well... at least i gave him my good wishes on his birthday... after all... he's one of my girlfriends ain't he? haha... love my girlfriends to bits... haha... although there's like only 2 of them... =D and anyway... there's no point having to many girlfriends right?

sometimes... i do wish that things were like in sec 3... where i have 4 beloved... Ms The.. Ms Leow... Ms Lau... and Mr Lim... but now... 2 gone and 2 left... it's kinda sad... cos... i've always loved them lots... even now... i just hope that we are together again... maybe excluding Mr Lim.. cos he's just another kind... but the 3 girls and i... i miss those times... and i don't even know why me and Ms The drew apart... she's very nice to talk to although she can be a total bitch at times... but who really cares... all of us will be total bitch at times... sigh... but i don't think i can ever change the hands of time... things get more complicated as we grow older... i don't wanna ever grow up sometimes... but that's life i suppose... if any of my beloved sees this... just wanna let you know... i always have you in my heart no matter how far we drifted apart...

that's it for now... chao chao...

Ms Lee... *oUt*

HOLIDAY!!!!!!!! WOOOHOOOOOO~!!!!!

2005-09-02T21:09:00.000+08:00

it's the last day of school... uh-huh... the start of my holidays... uh-huh... the start of playing PS2 that whole day... uh-huh... and the start of a new life... uh-huh...

next saturday would be shopping day... yup yup... going to bangkok to shop shop SHOP!!! haha... can't wait... in singapore i'm broke but in bangkok... i'm on a spree!!!! yayee!!!

tomorrow's program's gonna be simple... meet up with my darling to sing in the morning all the way to the afternoon... and maybe in the afternoon i'll be meeting him... uh-huh... actually... i don't know why... but i got over him rather fast... faster than i expected... it's like a burden is off my shoulders... yeah... but something's bugging inside me... i don't know what... it's been at me for since we broke up.... hmmm... something's gonna happen... i can feel it... somehow... but i don't know what... and i know it's something bad... instincts? most probably... but whatever, i'm happy these few days... overly happy... maybe... just feel soooo high now... very high in fact... but i keep needing people to keep talking to me.. and say something... i don't like silence suddenly... it's like sooo deafening... and seriously... no kidding... i just feel sooo deprived of talking... maybe cos i have not talked on the phone for a very long time... a habit i suppose... =D whatever it is... i'm happy... the only thing is... i wanna be the one that ended us... haha... i don't know why... i just wanna be the one... weird huh... that's why i didn't wanna let go... cos i wanna be the one... hahaha... so egoistic... haha... but that's me eh... i'm what i am.. and one day... a guy's gonna love me for what i am and he's gonna love me real real deep...

come to think of it... it's funny that i actually cried over a useless guy... hehe... no offence mr tan... but seriously... you don't seem to have what i want... the education... the mind of planning... everything's so last minute with you... and i don't really like that... hmmm.... why am i complaining... haha... good luck with the next girl dude... haha... hopefully you'll change for the better...

about school today... we made a game... and my group won... and we got M&Ms peanuts... and everybody had fun... and my babes and me wore long skirties... uh-huh... pretty pretty... haha... and we took quite a number of photos cos it's the last day we're gonna be together in a class and working together... hmmmm.... i'm gonna miss my babes... ping... diney... jenni... they make me like class sometimes... cos we sort of like got kahkis... haha... to do stuff like poning school, toilet partners... haha... the rest of the peeps are kinda nice too... except of course one guy.. who will NEVER NEVER EVER MAKE IT... hahahaha... cos seriously... he really CMI... like totally... hahahaha.... so glad i won't be seeing him anymore and working with him at all... cos it makes me sick working with him... hahahahahaha....

i'm gonna SING tomorrow... yayee... havn't done that for soooo long... and much more photo taking to be done.. i'm obsessed with myself!!! haha... look through my com pictures and you'll actually see that i have alot of just myself and my face in it... i just simply love it... even in my phone has all or rather mostly me... wahahaha.... i LOVE myself... haha... obsessed kid... hahahaha... no... correction... obsessed lady... hahaha... i'm a lady... totally... hahahaha...

that's it for today.. chao chao... =D

moving on... almost over him.. am i not?

2005-09-01T19:06:00.000+08:00

a song that's totally related to what i'm feeling now... sigh... but life goes on as usual... but he's avoiding me... yet he was the one that wanted to continue being friends... hmmm.... confusing...

I saw an old friend of ours today
She asked about you and I didn't quite know what to say
Heard you've been makin' the rounds round here
While I've been tryin' to make tears disappear

Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you

You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
For you leavin' came easy but it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know
'Cause it seems like forever but I'm letting you go

Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you

I can forgive you and soon
I'll forget all my shattered dreams
You took the love that you wanted and left me the misery

Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
When you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you

ta da... my song... =D bangkok here i come!!! that'll be 2 weeks later... =D

trying to go on... can i?

2005-08-30T18:49:00.000+08:00

yesterday was the end... i gave my all... and he wanted me to go... i can't stop feeling sad... i wanna move on... is this ever possible? i love him... man... i really do... what's wrong... i can't treat him as a friend... i know i can never... but if i don't... he'll be gone... i don't want that... i never had the thought that he would leave me... never... but he always says he'll hurt me... i freaking tired of crying... i really am... someone please help... i dying here... why is this happening to me... i want him sooo badly... sigh... i wanna be happy... i wanna be who i was again... i love him too much again... i have no idea what went wrong and it really really sucked... i wanna know... i want him to let me know... why is it like that... it's not fair.. i hate loving him too much... i don't wanna love anyone... they sucks... it brings pain... and the pain kills... i'm so empty inside i don't know what to do... all i can think of now is retribution is coming my way... maybe it was a mistake from the beginning... but i know i never regretted loving him... i was just foolish to believe his lies... please let me forget and move on... i don't have anyone now... i only have myself... even my friends can't help me... but i so want them to...

mr tan... if you ever read this... i will not stop loving you... cos you made me happy and all i really ask for is that we work things out and start all over again... i love you...

to love...to hate... or to feel both...

2005-08-15T22:39:00.000+08:00

lalala...
i love him...
lalala...
i hate him...
lalala...
i don't know what to do...
lalala...
what is to be done...
lalala...
he's my dearie...
lalala...
talk some sense into him...
lalala...
i still love him...
lalala...
and i still hate him...
sigh... but which is more?
the love?
or the hate?
he's not romantic...
but he's sweet at times...
he's not automatic...
in the dating part...
he's too understanding...
but is that bad?
he's too friendsly with other girls...
but is that alright?
so many good points...
but so many bad ones too...
so many questions...
but too few answers...
sigh...
so many quarrels...
and so many patches...
so many sorries...
but are they accepted?
sigh...

sTuPiD FriDaY!!@#$%^&*(

2005-07-15T16:29:00.000+08:00

today's just not my day... i hate today... stupid team mate... stupid grade... stupid people... stupid school... just STUPID!!!!!!!!!! argh~!!!! what's wrong with today ever since i'm back from my very very long break... okay... maybe it's not right that i went for the long break... but what's his stupid problem... why is he so stupidly irriating... stupidly selfish... stupid... if he's so clever why don't he just go SP??? stupid guy... stupid country of his... stupid character... everything's just sooo stupid... it's stupidly raining outside now... and i'm stupidly sleepy... stupidly broke... stupidly bored... and i'm stupidly waiting for my parents... stupidly running out of what to write for my RJ... and the class is just stupidly cold... i'm stupidly freezing... and stupidly grumpy and stupidly grouchy and stupidly mad... and stupidly insane... what's the stupid world coming to? why is stupid things happening on this stupid friday in this stupid week the stupid date? life's stupid at this stupid point of moment... the whole day was stupid.. stupid module... stupid fac... stupid worksheet... stupid VB.... stupid this... stupid that.... stupid stupid stupid... and this is the end of this stupid blog...

....:::::::StUpiD:::::::....

SiGh... JuSt SiGh & SiGh AwAy....

2005-07-13T14:33:00.000+08:00

i'm bored... and pissed with that bloody guy... what's his problem... exams are coming and all he can think of is work? can't he like priortise is bloody time... he has all the time in the world to work next year... like duh.... he doesn't think... all he thinks about is how broke he is... i mean... he's having Os like in a few months time... can't he be sensible? god... what's so wrong with his mind????? he didn't go school and instead of being home to study he goes for a bloody interview... i'm sooo not gonna go into committing with someone that has no sense... i think it's really time to put things on whole... for real... for good... i want to knock some sense into him... but it never get into his head... dumb guy... stupid guy... senseless guy... he should read this... he ought to read this... maybe then he'll realize his stupidity... his no sense of priorty... his immature-ness... ARGH~!!! stupid arsehole...

having presentation now... and it's the 3rd group presenting... and i'mnot listening..and some guy touched my com when i told him not to... what's his problem... such an ass.... ARGH~!!!
bad mood... stupid guy... it's all because of his stupidity and senselessness that's making me sooo irritated... he can soooo go to hell... sucks man...

.:::.CyNtHiA.:::.

SiCk~ JuSt SuPeR SiCk~!

2005-07-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

i'm sooo not feeling well now... i'm bloated... and bloated... and even more bloated... it's really driving me crazy... you know... i have this damn bitter taste in my buds and it's making me wanna puke... and now... my tummy's aching... i'm feeling sooooo terrible now... i wanna shit but i can't... having constipation and it's totally irritating... why's this happenning to me? why? why? why? damn it...

i've decided... i'm not gonna leave my dearie... i'm gonna stay with him as long as i can... hahaha... i supposed... i was thinking about some stuff that made me want to leave him.. but had a talk to him about those stuff and now it's cleared... he's my dearie again... maybe i just realized that he actually cares about me... i mean... i can't expect everyday to be like before... where we just have fun... fun... fun... and more fun... i mean... i still want fun... but we have to get into something deeper... we can't be at the surface forever can we? hmmm.... as for my the other attraction.... it's short lived... i think... it should be... hahaha... oh what the hell... i'm soooo not gonna think about it...

to go or not to go to school? that's a question i'm thinking about... hmmm.... i'm not exactly sure... i don't know what i'll be missing if i don't come to school... but i'm just sooo sick and tired of school... this is the 3rd week already... i have 7 more weeks... and it just seems so far away... why can't it come faster? i'm dying in school already... boring lifeless school... sigh...

i miss the days when my darlings are around to make life in school better... one's avoiding me now because of a silly jacket... and the other? her messages just seem to always come when i'm sleeping... plus... now... she's always busy with her girlfriend... come to think of it... i think i have forgotten how they even look like... *oops* hehe... it's been a long time since i saw any of them... but what can i say... we are just too busy... got to talk to my darling some time...

my class in attracting ants today... and it's really freaky to see a big army of ants crawling under the table and they attacked my feet... seriously... and it painful... real real painful... i hate ants... stupid black tiny ants.. what is sooo worng with them... stupid school... with stupid ants... dumb! dumb! dumb! argh~!

i think that's all for now... time check... 11.16pm... i need to head to my comfy bed already... the world's already starting to spin around me... chao...

:::*CyNtHiA*:::

~FriDaY fRiDaY fRiDaY~

2005-07-08T23:09:00.000+08:00

it's a friday... the end of the second week of school... that's like 8 more weeks to the holidays... and 12 more weeks for me to change class... Yipee!! but of course... as much as i hate my class.. i gotta admit.. i starting to like a few of the peepsies already... but that won't change my mind about changing class... cos i just want to... hopefully it's with Valen... then life won't be such a bore in school... now what are the probability of that happening? hmmmm.... like... 1/10000000 chances? then again.... maybe i might be very lucky... hahaha...

my relationship is on the rocks now... i'm beginning to lose feelings for him... apparently... i think i'm attracted to another... how weird... but is true... i hope it'll be short-lived... and then everything would be normal... won't it? sigh... well... what my cute guy said is very true... after a patched relationship, there's still a crack.. and that'll never go away... things will never be the same... and that's exactly what i'm experiencing now... i'm gonna ask for a break for the time being from my darling... but when should i tell him? i don't wanna tell him over the phone... it's just not right... but he's always busy... so how am i gonna start saying... sigh... sometimes it's just so hard... but before i do that... i have to ask him a question... i personally think it's a important thing to ask... if i didn't ask him to come and accompany that night... would we actually be together? i guess is a no... he wouldn't want a patch... sometimes i just don't understand what's going on in a guy's mind.. maybe it's just them... to be like that... oh well... i'm sick of this pretense.. WE ARE NOT OKAY... so stop pretending already... clear things up and be done and over with... i just have to....

cotton candy and lollie... is that for me to choose? or does these sweets choose me? honestly, i suppose none... maybe i should go for fruits instead... =S

::^'' _~*CyNtHiA*~_"^::

2005-06-25T01:19:00.000+08:00

had Sakae Buffet today and ate till i was like sooooo bloated... over-ate i supposed... ordered lots and talked lots with none other than my sister... she treated me.. so i guess it's fine... haha... after that i met up with Smiley... walked around... mostly the cinemas... cos we are like soo wanting to catch a movie... or maybe i want to catch a movie... cos i didn't have anywhere to shop... plus i'm so flat broke... so i didn't really had the mood to shop... just wanted to be with him... haha... but i supposed happy time was over after he sort of raised his voice at me when i bit him... i know i'm wrong to do that... but does he really have to raise his voice? after that... i got quite scared or rather... shocked... i almost cried there and then... but i hold back... cos i didn't want him to think what's wrong with me... you know... crying for no rhyme or reason... although... there IS a reason... i don't suppose he'll actually understand...

you see... it's just my nature to cry when i'm angry frightened and of course hurt... but not much people see it that way... for one... my dad... all he thinks is that i love crying and things like that... and probably my whole family thinks that way... so i give up explaining myself to them... no one understands me... not even Smiley... even if i want him to... i don't know what's gotten into me these days... i feel that inecure feeling again... something's bugging me... but i'm trying to figure that out... i'm so scared... scared that history's gonna repeat itself... someday he's gonna do it again... we've been like having small arguments these days... all by me... i don't know why... i just feel scared and start arguing with him... ah ling jie jie say it's time to change guy... but i don't want to... and i hate it when she keeps saying that... why won't she just stop... i want to forget what happened... but she's not making it any easier... sigh... i really don't know what to do...

i cried just now... after i came home... i need to get it out from just now... i don't want his voice to be raised at me again... i'm was really frightened... and i went all silent... after he raised his voice he somehow softened... i think he sensed i was scared or something... but even if he softened his voice i was still a little freaked out.. i didn't say much cos i was scared i would cry... and that would be weird wouldn't it... so we got all silent all the way back... from town... to tampines... and back home... and then i went to my room... use my labby and started crying while using.. luckily my parents didn't come into my room... or they'll think there's something wrong with me... my heart is aching... i don't know why... sigh... everything's so complicated... i wished that things didn't happen before this... that he never said he wanted a break up then a patch... wish it was like before... cos now is just so very different...

~*-^>CyNtHiA siGniNg OfFfF<^-*~

EaRLy DiSmiSsAL bUt sTiLL iN sChOoL... HmMm...

2005-06-02T15:35:00.000+08:00

it's like school's over and i'm still waiting... and i'm bored... that's why i'm blogging... haha... it's been a while yeah? haha... well... been busy... with what... beats me.. cos i don't remember... hahaha... gonna fill up on what's been happening ya...

i finally know my cute guy... talk to my cute guy... and being friends with my cute guy... hmmm.... come to think of it...i think it's not so fun anymore now that i actually know him... i suppose it's not very interesting anymore... haha... short lived interest i guess...

my holidays are coming like in 1 day's time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like can't wait... i'm sooooo sick of school and everything... can't wait to just be home... plus... the great singapore sale is here... so it's like... SHOPPING SPREE TIME!!!!! YIPEEEEE!!!!!hohohohohohohohoohoho... i just love holidays... hahaha...

i'm not seeing smiley for a while cos i guess he's busy... and he's always busy... so why bother right? like ya... shouldn't bother too much... lazy to care already...

madagascar is like out already and i've not yet catch it... so irritating... no one wanna watch with me... stupid people... i wanna watch!!!!!! *whining* hahaha... oh well... worst comes to worst i shall either download the movie OR go malaysia buy.... hahahahhahahahahahahaha... LAME!!!!

neewaysss.... i think i'm like done blogging... this should just about sums up my life these days... MY CUTE GUY'S CUTE!!!!!! SMILEY IS SMILEY!!!!MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.... okay... that's it... bye...

~*^!CyNtHiA SiGniNg OfFfFf!^*~

StUpiD CrApPy iRriTaTiNg DiSgUsTiNg HoRriBLe DePrEsSiNg AnD tHe LiSt JuSt GoEs On DaY... SiGh~

2005-05-24T22:27:00.000+08:00

this is like the crappiest day ever... nothing seems to go right... my phone went blank early in the morning.. i accidentally erased the interviews that i took pains to do... then it came to choir audition and it was like crap... they want to sing pop song and i'm like what the hell... then there's no bloody spare phone around for me when i need one.. it's like.. what's WRONG with everything everyone????????? are they like out of their minds.. even non-living things are out to get me... like what the FUCK~!!!! i hate life...

my phone's like soooo spoilt and my mum is refusing to buy me a new one... do i really have to resort into buying a phone frm a ulu store and risk getting export stuff with no guarantee? do i really have to go to the extend of secretly buying a phone and lie about it for the rest of its working life? what's wrong with getting me a new phone? what's wrong with just getting me a proper phone??? it's not as if i'm asking her to buy me like a 500 over bucks phone... it's just a $168 phone... which could drop to lesser by august.. but why can't she just see that i really do need a phone... is it very hard for her to sign a paper while i pay for my phone? is it? is it? is it? no right? ARGH~~!!!!!! sucky life...

then came my interviews to make my day worse... i just wanted to deleted a few voice recordings and i ended up erasing all instead.. like... what the hell... is that like sort of a punishment? but what have i done wrong recently... hmmm... like i have no idea... like what the shit is this... but it's okay right... i can always do another recording alot of people would say.. but guess what... i DID do another set f interview... and THAT got like erased too? i'm like... what IS wrong with today... and i think my fac which is a teacher actually doesn't seem to empathize with me... sigh... so there goes my chance of good grade again...

choir audition was crap... it's like i don't even have to go for it cos they are like gonna sing stupid pop songs as a choir... i mean... do you call that a choir? what's their excuse for singing these kind of songs? cos they are just a small group... it's like... what crap is this... my choir started off like them... but i don't see myself singing pop songs during practices in those days.... like what bull are they trying to say man... get a life... you don't have real stuff then just say so... why blame on having just a small group... this choir ain't a choir at all... it's like soooo cannot make it... so now that leaves me with nil CCA at all... maybe i shouldn't join any... it's like a total waste of time?

in about like 2 weeks time... it's finally our half an anniversary.. that's right... it's me and Mr. Smiley's 6 monthsary... it's like finally here.. gonna fill the box that i have for him... something special probably? something no one has ever given him... hmmm... like that'll be... er... i have like no idea... lots and lots of cards about my thoughts? hmm.... sounds interesting... but then that means i have to start back tracking... 6 cards... 1 for every month... or maybe i should start now... 1 card for everyday... i have lots of cards... haha... time to make them useful... haha...yeah... i think that's what i should do.. i've got all the time in the world to do it... haha... okay... but what if that don't work out... hmmm.... okay... i need a back up plan... hmm.... er... let's see... give him a photo frame and in it is my message to him... hmm... that'll be great... with the box... haha... i just have to give a box to him... boxes are nice to give.. haha.. okay... then it's settled... box... farme... message... a necklace chain to replace the thick one he has... hmm.... total price... just under my budget.. yippee... now all i have to hope is he'll be free on that day itself... or i know i'll be very pissed with him for making himself busy instead of celebarting with me... yeah... then i'll start throwing my tantrum... which would then lead to me being unreasonable and then we'll all just be unhappy... and then that's it.. our half an anniversary is ruined by him...

okay... i'm done for today... super terrible day fot me... hopefully it'll get better tomorrow or just as soon as possible...

~*^~CyNtHiA SiGniNg OfFfFfFf~^*~

tiReD~!!!!!! FeELiNg SiCk~! A LiSt Of ApOLoGiEs~

2005-05-11T10:07:00.000+08:00

it's already the 4th week or is it the 3rd? hmmm... either way... it seems like i've been schooling forever in this stupid retarded school... i'm sooo not feeling well... having my mense... then lack of sleep... with occasional migraine coming to me... super tired... and i miss Mr. Smiley... haha... now that's rare... haha... i'm supposed to be doing my research in class instead of blogging.. but who cares... so long never blog... ought to do some updating... hohoho...

monday... out with my baby and saw HER baby... she really does look like a monkey... haha... never mean to be mean... but just a truth... haha... as it goes... the truth always hurt... haha... before that... we went for a movie... seeing nicole kidman on big screen is just such a pleasure... love her to bits... wanna put her in my display cupboard... shall plot a kidnap... hahah... went to vist my baby honey's father at Mount Elizabeth cos he had a heart attack... it looked serious... with tubes about... so... yeah... wish him speedy recovery... people will pray for his health back somehow... although i don't pray... giving him my best wishes... took pictures with my baby honey... both the machine ones and the camera... oh yeah~! *beams* super nice and cool... haha... it's been ages since i gone out and took pictures like that... haha... but well... i'll be back to that habit soon... haha...

yesterday.. was feeling extremely sick... had stomach craps... feeling dizzy.. all i wanted was sleep... my phone went mad too and pissed me off.. in other words... i'm grumpy... grouchy.. a Oscar the Grouch... haha... i'm so nonsensical... like... whatever... but 1 thing good was... i did well in school today...

as for today... the day has yet to get started... stupid classmate touched my com and stuff... hate it... rather slacky today i think... Mr. Smiley's last paper today and the end of his first prelims.. sigh... he'll be busy still... so not fun... no one to go out with..

okay... now... i shall list my apologies to some people... they won't see this i think... but... oh well... it's for me to feel better i suppose... well... here goes...

first person: Mr. Smiley
speech: mr... i'm sorry if i still don't believe that you are over her... maybe it's because previously you broke the trust i had for you... so if you're expecting me to trust you as much as i did last time.. sorry man... i can't... you'll just have to build that trust again... i'm sorry for feeling insecure about us.... i guess i still need some time... cos you came back to me when you said you didn't want me... it's rather contradicting to me... so yeah... i supposed i have not registered the idea that you are really back to me cos you really want to be with me... some hurt just stays... and this is one of them... i'm sorry about that... hopefully you will somehow not make me feel that way during this whole relationship and that i am really able replace her in your heart... i'm sorry if i sometimes don't understand you and ask questions that you can't answer either because you don't dare to or you really don't know how... which ever it is, i'm sorry... i just can't hepl myself sometimes... i'm sorry i treating this as a game... a game that have false game overs and real ones and hurt that comes with it... everything is a game... even life... i hope you get that... if you don't... then... i also don't know... i'm sorry i can't love you more than i already have... cos i'm just protecting myself i think.. a defence thing? maybe time would break that defence... but for now... i don't think i can...probably you'll help me... probably not...

second person: samantha
speech: hey hey... i'm sorry... i shouldn't have taken him away from you... but then again... i never have... you always had him and you knew it... you wanted him but you're just pretending... i'm sorry for saying sorry... i'm sorry that everytime you see me you give me a face that makes me feel so bad and guilty and feel like a slut for stealing your guy that has to be with you whenever you want... and that he cannot love another but only you cos you want him still... the "break" you had with him it's i suppose bull... yeah... total bull... and you just feel happy about that... but... oh well... i can't say anything... i'm only feeling sorry... sorry for you... i know i'm supposed to be apologising to you... but i also want to get this anger at you or just this stuff i have been wanting to say to you for a long time off my chest... yeah... so... yeah... and that face of yours... hey... you want to make me miserable as long as i'm with him... well you are already doing that... so yeah... do whatever you want... i'll restrain my love for him as long as i can...until he gets over you... and so.. it's up to you to ya... okay... isound like a bitch... like who cares...

third person: Mummy
speech: hey mummy... i'm sorry if i'm rude and all that to you and give you all kinds of smal tantrums... i'm sorry for always making you responsible for things like coming home very late... didn't mean to do that... but it's just that i know my limits... if i go out till late... i'll definitely do my stuff before going... just have to trust me...

fourth person: my parents
speech: sorry that i have to hide my relationship from you... but i know you won't be able accept it... you will not accept that i have a boyfriend... i'm always a kid to you... someone that'll never grow up...and always depending on you people... i'm sorry if i get agitated at you people when you all ask so many questions... i guess that because i feel that you do not trust me i suppose... that you are like wanting to control me... i'm sorry...

fifth person: joyce
speech: i'm sorry for using your name everytime i'm out with him.. you don't know about it.. but yeah... i did... the lucky thing is that my parents didn't insist on calling her... and checking on me... so.. yeah.. sorry about that... but... you know my situation i hope... sorry that you have to listen to me complain and talking about my stuff all the time mainly about him... just needed someone to talk to even though i blog... i guess it's just different... whatever it is...i'm sorry...

sixth person: my sisters
speech: sorry for all the trouble i caused... the things that you have to cover for me... and the rudeness you sometimes get from me... it'sjust me... i want to change... but it's not easy... plus... i do have moods too you know... you all can do this to me why can't i... i know when i say that you will say you don't... but you do... just that you don't know or rather ignore that... and i think it's soooo unfair... anyway... sorry...

that;s it... i'm signing off...

hOw FiNe dO i ApPeAr To Be~

2005-05-04T13:09:00.000+08:00

it's been 4 days since we got back together... i don't know if i should feel happy that he's back to me and mine again... and that he wanted me back... is this i can say my happy ending? hmmm.... i'm not realy sure... somehow it just doesn't seem right... i mean... why the hell did he want to come back tome again when he said his love for me is fading? another respondsibility for him to fulfil? asking him that is useless cos i know that he would just deny... will he ever be telling the truth? that's something that i can never answer....

last week was hell to me... cried consecutively every minute and every second and everytime i close my eyes and lie on my bed... somehow i can't let go of him during those days... saturday i decided maybe i should let go.. cos i'm tired and he's probably tired too... tired of listening to me telling him to come back to me... went to his house and did the break clean... giving him what he really wants and crying for the last time... and saying what i had wanted to say for a very very long time... and surprisingly when i left his place i stopped crying completely and actually felt better... like i have lifted something that has been on me throughout this whole relationship... i rather happy that i cleared things out... not calmly... but at least i did clear things up...

the same night he decided to come back to me... he said he wants me back... he don't wanna see me sad anymore... that he doesn't want me to cry anymore... that he loves me... but he saying he loves me make me think if it's true... is that what he wants or is it just a blame he's taking and is trying to make up for it... i sometimes don't know which is the truth... being in his arms again does feel great... but is it right? is it really meant to be? is it what it was last time? i always wished that he'll give me more security... but i know he'll never give that to me... he can give me anything i asked for except for 2 things... all his love and security... he's still not letting go... i know that... cos i trust my intuition... i trust what i feel and what i know... he'll never get over it... and now.. i'm trying very hard not to fall any deeper... already at this level i'm already quite hurt... falling deeper will kill me... maybe i'm just not cut out to play this game... the game of love... no rules yet so hard to play and win it... the higher you go... the more hurt will come to you... and game over comes very very fast...

i want to feel his love for me again... but now... i don't feel it at all... not even a teeny bit... he's no more there... no where near me anymore... he's al very distant... he's more of a friend than a lover now... i very much want to feel that he's still a lover... but how? i've already built a wall against him.. cos he hurt metoo badly... my sis said i'm stupid for letting him come back to me... after all... he sort of cheated me by loving another girl... maybe i'm just stupid... maybe i'm just having wishful thoughts that he wouldn't do it again... i cannot be sure that he won't hurt me again and probably deeper this time... and i cannot be sure that he's trying to love him wholeheartedly... but i do know one thing for sure... i love him... even if i'm not loving him more than what i'm supposed to now i still love him... he made me happy... and made me feel loved... i never loved a guy so much before... and i never ever regretted being with him at all... we may be together for the wrong reasons... we may not experienced what we had during the first 4 months... and i may always have to live in our past... but i don't mind... cos i'm in love and somehow.... nothing in the world can affect my love for him...

he'll never sees this... but i'm still gonna say it...

dear dear... i love you... i know your heart will never be with me... but i just wanna say it again... i love you... and you cannot change that... no matter how you very much want me to not love you and you don't love me anymore... i still love you...*hugs*

~^*~^CyNtHiA SiGniNg OfFfFfF^~*^~

2005-04-26T13:14:00.001+08:00

another week of school and it sucks... sooooo boring... now it's lunch break and i've done my stuff... so i can rest and do this... haha... i'm lame... last week and these few days ain't good at all... lots of sad things happen... i sometimes just feel like just crying my way out of all these... but i have to control... i cannot do that... it's just not me... i mean i do cry... but it's those angry cries... but no one understands... my family just thinks that i cry because i want some sympathy from whoever... i mean... come on... why do i want some... i just get angry and i cry... it's those "i hate you" crying thing... no one gets it...

for the past few days that i have been talking to him... we always end up quarreling... we end up pissed and unhappy... and i get all upset and stuff... yesterday we argued again and it was early in morning... he said i don't care bout him... he say i always sy hurtful things... i mean... he says jokes and i have to take it and get it the first time if not he'll say it's unfair... but it's already unfair to me... i mean... i make jokes and he takes them so seriously and i'm like suddenly at fault... like what the hell~!!!! i have to understand him... i have to care about how he feels... well...what about him? he doesn't care... he can't even be bothered with me... he doesn't even bother having time for me... after i complaint once he decided to spend more time with me for maybe like a week... and then? what happens next? he doesn't care.. he's back to not bothering about me.. and this time i didn't even bother complaining... i take it as since i've started school it'll be fine with me... so.. okay... i don't care anymore... that was about 2 weeks ago... okay... old story? take the most recent one then... last thursday... i went for basketball training and didn't have any intention to join.. just go for the fun of it... i told him about it... and what.. he said i ouldn't take it which means he's indirectly saying i'm not that fit... then i told him i was just gonna look at guys anyway... he said i was just out to look for someone else to replace him... i was like so freaking pissed off with him for thinking that way about me... i mean... does that mean that he thinks i'm that sort of person to him? does he really think that i'm just trying to get rid of him at every chance? does he really not trust me that much.. i mean.. i didn't even make any comment about he being with samantha still... think i'm not scared that he might just be hugging her while he is talking to me over the phone? the truth is i AM scared... but i just kept quiet about it cos i know ought to give him a little trust altough i can't stop the feeling... then the problem solved... okay.. then the next day friday... i think.. should be.. or is it sunday? either one... anyway... we argued again... over what? he was doing he work when i called him... so i told him to go do his work then... when he have time then talk to me again... and then he just concluded that i was pissed with him and that he irritated me... then he put it as his MSN nick saying he irritated me... and i asked him if that message was meant for me... and he said yes... and i was like... when was i irritated... then he insisted that i was.. and i told him i wasn't pissed till he insisted i was pissed... and then... yeah..monday came which was yesterday... early in the morning he messaged me and we argued over a stupid thing... and i was like soooooo not happy with it... i mean... does he have to come and spoil my day? was soooo pissed... and i was like soooo sad... then at night... things just got worst... i thought maybe we should cool off for weeks and when we're ready to face each other already then we'll talk... but i guess he didn't know what i meant by cool off... or maybe he just ignored the meaning of it... he told me to trust him and promised that we'll never be like that again... but i know it'll difinitely happen again and again... but he insisted that it won't... i don't know what to do...i'm like soooo lost... is everybody who had their first like that?

this morning... he aske me if i wanted to end it... and i just wanted to cry... but i can't cos i'm in class... i held back my tears... and i asked me if he wans me to? he told me i probably should cos he didn't want me to be unhappy... but he doesn't know that i would be even worse if i just end it this way... i don't wanna break up with him and i did tell him that... then he said he wanna make peace with me and that we shan't be likethat anymore... i soehow feel that he is not happy... that he wants to go... that maybe if i had said that i wanna give up he'll be happy... although i won't... but i don't know... maybe i really love him sooo much now although it's like only 4months plus that i can't bear to let go... but maybe he wants to let go... i don't know if this is right... is it right that i held on to it... i want the answer...but i know i'll never get one.. unless one day... he saw this... which will be never...

i shall say no more... presenting soon...

~^*-^CyNtHiA SiGniNg OfFfFfFf^-*^~

2 dAys Of oRiEnTaTiOn~ TiRiNg~!!!!

2005-04-14T01:30:00.000+08:00

today's the final day of my orientation... thank goodness it's over... been so tired these 2 days... i've not started school and i'm already starting to get bored with it already... this is bad... real bad... well... but at least today's orientation was not as bad as yesterday's one... yeasterday was downright boring...had to attend talks... and totally no friends at all... didn't really get to laugh and talk as much as today... let me just feel in what was yesterday like...

i arrived at school at aroung 8.30 or a little later... had to join a queue to register my name... then i ended in some class with the most boring people... then moved on to THE PLAZA and had to sit through a no. of talks for like maybe 2 to 3 hours... my butt was like soooooooo pain... anyway... then we had lunch... and the food was disgusting... and eating in silence is really really awkward and everyone was already in a group... so it's like soooo hard to get in... then went for a PBL lesson thingy... and made some vehicle to bomb a camp... it was quite dumb... in the end my vehicle didn't even make it to the camp... don't get the wrong idea... th vehicle is just made up of cardboard and vanguard... with marbles as bombs.. it's very very dumb... after that.. it was the end... and i was glad that it was over...

today's orientation is a little more fun... i was with a friend from ZARA... valentina.. yeah... didn't know she was in RP... but sadly she not in the same course as me... she's in biotech...but oh well... at least she's in SAS[school of applied science]... so it's not so bad... we were brought to our OG.. which is called Hector... the guy from Troy... anyway... yeah... we had played some ice breaker games... getting to know each other.. and then we had to make this flag for our OG which was like soooo ugly... valen and i didn't domuch at first... we went and pick up lunch instead with our OGL but of course... we didn't carry anything... we just walk around... look here look there... haha... then we went back into the classroom... then we decided that just help abit also good lar... won't feel so guilty... so we modified here and there on the flag... after that we had lunch and then games between each OG... and there was this OG with all girls and one guy....they were like soooo scary... very fierce... like wanna kill you like that... when my OG had tp play with them...all of us were like so scared... dread every match we have with them... then... it started raining... so we went back to our classroom and started playing a boring game... Hangman... haha... we were all so bored you see... haha... then we played till dinner came... after that... it was "war" time... some water-bomb again... didn't play though... cos the whole thing was rather confusing... haha... then that's about it... we got our stuff and then... poof... we all just gone home... all saying " see you on friday.." that kind of stuff...

talking about that...i still need to attend a course on friday... this is really damn sickening.. argh... have to carry myheavy laptop all the way to redhill... my god... oh well... the school made it compulsory... so what can i do... hai...

saw this rather good looking guy from the orientation today... though he's not from my OG... he looks a little like my dear dear... but he's taller... hopefully he's in the same class as me or even better... in biomed too... hehe... that'll be nice... then i can be his friend... haha... *wink*

okay... i think i shall stop here already.. i'm sooooo tired... and sleepy... i'm going to snuggle up in my bed with my toys and sleep peacefully and sufficiently finally... good night...

*^~CyNtHiA SiGniNg OfFfFfFf~^*

4 mOnThS 1 dAy~! SoOoOoOo LoOoOnG!!! iS iT nOt??

2005-04-10T02:59:00.000+08:00

it's already a day after my 4th month with him... long? i think it is... not much of a celebration though... went out... caught a movie... and me as usual... blabbering and blabbering the whole time... and when we talk over the phone i have nothing to say... kinda funny isn't it? i wonder why.. hmmm.... ought to ask him that some day.. haha... anyway... yeah... as i was saying... we went to catch a movie... Spanglish-> funny and touching... but of course... i didn't cry... i'm not those who'll go bawling over a show... if that's what you call it... by the time it was over... most shops are closed so i couldn't walk around... wanted to take a picture.. but.... sigh... we couldn't... and i don't think he wanted it... never a very keen photo taker i guess... okay...enough about him...

around this time... i should be in school for the FOP camp... but i didn't want to go... I HAVE NO ONE TO ACCOMPANY ME~!! I'M LIKE SO LONELY IF I WENT!! so yeah... i didn't go... but damn... i need to g for FOP this coming tuesday... and friday i have to attend this computer course... all compulsory... i understand the FOP but what about the computer management thing thong bell... oh well... the school's very screw up anyway... it took me like so many days to do my admin thingy cos of a glitch in the bloody system... how screw up can THAT be... school's gonna start in like 2 weeks time... suddenly i don't have the urge to go school anymore... firstly i don't know anyone that's going to the same school as me and is in the same situation as me.. secondly... the people all don't look good... i mean... their dress sense are hideous... thirdly... there's like no cute guys or pretty girls around at all... it's just stupid ah lians and ah bengs or wierd looking people...i mean how bad can that be... seriously? VERY BAD... fourthly... since the system can have a glitch... i think lessons would be a screw up too...hmmm... now the school really sounds bad... but i still have to go to that school... i suppose i shall just be a loner for like 3 years... get really good grades(if possible)... quickly leave the school... and then go uni... and be successful... just hope everything goes smoothly...

ooo... i forgot to say... he bought my a doggy pendent... it's like so cute.. just love it.. haha... why he bought it for me... i have no idea.. whatever it is... i still like it... when it comes to our half year anniversary... maybe i should get him something... haha... something good... hehe... love him lots everytime now... haha... although i still hate it when he just have time with people and not me... one more thing... my choir had silver for SYF... i mean SILVER~!!! it's like... wow! 2 years ago bronze... this year silver... 2 years later gold? ooooo...cool... haha...i'm like so proud of them... hehe...

another issue... i think his darling is still not happy with me... i just wish that she'll just smile at me instead of giving a face that says " i hate you for taking my boyfriend away!!" i mean... i'm sorry hon... but i just couldn't help liking him... i mean... i have never thought that he and i would be together cos i knew he was out of bounds... i knew he belonged to his darling... i didn't want to get closer than just friends... but things do happen... and nothing could stop it..i mean... okay.. i could have stop it... but hey...i'm a girl too... i just wish she just stop making me feel so fucking guilty that i sometimes feel like just giving him up for her...but i know i can't... cos i'm a girl that don't wanna get hurt... i'm not some big-hearted girl... i'm a normal girl that wants to be with someone that i like... which is unfortunately him... going to any choir thing just makes me hate myself... and it's torturous going there... probably i'm a slut to her... just wish i could say sorry to her... it may not make her feel any better but at least i tried to... wanna do something for her to make her better... but i know it's useless... sigh.. i mean... just take the SYF concert for an example... i saw... she saw me... she was smiling before she turned... i was laughing before i saw her face... she saw me... i saw her... her face dropped... i stop laughing... and then she stop smiling throughout till she didn't see my face... i feel bad... but didn't do anything... so... what's wrong? what can i do? i don't know... and i know i'll never know... oh well... sigh.... hope she'll forgive me one day... she just got to... sigh...

okay... enough for today... write tomorrow again.. same time probably...

^*~CyNtHiA SiGniNg OfFfFfFfFf~*^

i'M a HaNdYgIrL~!!

2005-04-02T02:09:00.000+08:00

i just realized something... i have no one going to RP with me... didn't ask around whether any of my people going to RP at all... i'm going to be like soooooo lonely.. sigh.... this totally sucks.... what am i going to do... showing up on orientation day all alone... pathetic i say... pathetic... absolutlely pathetic... sigh... oh well... what to do... this is what get if i want to get into the course i asked for... sigh...

today's a busy busy day... haha... fixed up my bed... and my table... I'VE FINALLY GOT BACK MY ROOM!!!! YAY~~~!!!!! extremely happy about it... haha... but then... the dreaded part comes... i have to pack my stuff again... and this is totally not good... i have too many stuff already... how the hell am i going to store them... my room is in a complete mess now... or rather... it's always in a mess... i need to get rid of my books... but the trouble is... which one am i to get rid of... now... that's tough to decide isn't it... sigh... anyway... i still love having my room back... i finally can sleep 0n my own bed... it feels like heaven... haha...

this whole week i'm not going to see him... (not counting the day we watched Spongebob..) SPONGEBOB'S LIKE SOOOOOOO CUTE... I LOVE PATRICK~!!!!! anyway... back to him... yeah... i'm not going to see him... cos i'm busy and i think he's busy too... he asked me to join him in eugene's chalet... i'm thinking twice about it... i don't really talk to his people... especially that stupid eugene... he just love pissing me off... the next time he does that... i think i should just completely ignore that bothersome irritating idiotic jackarse.... miss him.. but never like telling him cos it just doesn't feel right... is that normal? hmmmm.... maybe... maybe not... who cares... i don't like it... so it's normal...

i'm a loner... i just realized that... i don't like making friends with people... hmmm..... i'm like so no friends now.... on;y the occasional "hi" "bye" "how are you?" "how's life?" and blah blah blah... not much people to really talk my heart out... i'm like so lonely... *self-victimised* haha...

okay.. i think i'm gonna stop here... this should cover up for not writing for so long... been busy lately... once i get my laptop... it'll be a everyday entry... definitely... haha...

~^*CyNtHiA*^~

pAiNt PaInT pAiNt~! fEeLiNg SoO gOoD!!

2005-03-24T18:06:00.000+08:00

it's been a while since i wrote... been painting and busy... getting some workout.. burn those fats... and vuola! not so fat anymore... wahahahahahahah~! you see... i'm having a major revamp to my room... new furnitures.. having the room all to myself... no more sharing... heaven i say... heaven... hahaha... a room to call my own... finally!! after like 16 years of my life... hahaha... but now... i still do not have a room... i have no where to sleep... never like sleeping in other people's room but i have no choice... luckily... my mum's not in sngapore for the time being... so... i can use their room... hahahahahahahhaha... but i stil miss my room... oh well... that's a price to pay to have a room of my own...

SPONGEBOB THE MOVIE IS OUT AND I STILL HAVN'T WATCH IT!!!! sigh... the kids just have to snatch tickets with me for that show... why... why... why... hmmm... i'm anti-kids from this day onwards... can't watch my cartoon i've got to watch a horror movie with him... damn... i think i'm going to freak out during the show... how am i going to sleep like that... sigh... hmmm...i've got no choice... i have to let him watch something he enjoys sometimes too.. if not i'll look evil... right? right... oh well... i'm good... i'm always good... i'm forever good.. hahaha... it's amazing that we are already together for more than 3 months... haha... never thought he could toloerate me for that long... or rather... i never thought i would actually last that long in a realtionship... not that i've been in others... but don't one get bored being with the same person for so long? i mean... 3 months is long enough... haha... is my relationship perfect? but what is perfect... is not quarelling at all considered good? or is it a bad thing? hmmm.... no idea... i'm contented with how we are now... so... i guess i shouldn't care... haha...

last week... my darling came over with her guy and i have him with me too... played mahjong... and then sleep... but too bad.. he had to leave early cos i couldn't allow my parents to see him... maybe not just yet.. cos i know they would disapprove about me having a relationship... let's just say i'm scared to let my parents know about him... as in like he's still in sec 5 and stuff... i know it's wrong to think that way... but to my parents this kind of thing is very important to them... maybe once he gets his O levels results and see his results... definitely he'll go poly... i'm sure of it... then i'll just somehow naturally let my mum know about him... and then.. ta da!!! it's no secret anymore.... hahahahahhaa.... i'm a genius...

i'm going to RP~!!! taking biomedical sciences... oh yay... i got into something i want... i'm like so lucky... didn't expected it... but this is good.. that means... i have a chance still... haha... got to be a study freak though... cos if i don't make it to the uni... then i'm a goner... hmmm.... my resolution of my new going to school term... to work as hard as possible... less playing time and more mugging time... i can only enjoy once i know that i can make it to the uni... ay least this year i think i'll be able to concentrate.. cos firstly... he's got a big exam to study for too... so i can study and he can study... and then we'll both be happy... hahaha.. i'm a genius... wahahahahahahaha....

okay... i think i've cover up for the pass few weeks of absence... hahaha... written whatever i have to say... now... i've got to go... gonna bathe and relax a bit... later i've got a show to catch... hahahaha.... will write again... when? some time when i have the time to... cos after monday... it's back to shifting... hammering and unpacking... then... i finally have MY ROOM~!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~*^CyNtHiA sIgNiNg OfFfF^*~

A vErY vErY bAd LiFe NoW~

2005-03-01T16:52:00.000+08:00

i'm falling into depression after i got my results yesterday... was at a lost when i got my results... wondering whether i could get into any course at all... i screwed everything up and i really feel like dying... but i didn't dare to... it's like... my future's gone... no good course is ever gonna get me... i'm totally a failure now... sigh... ah ling jie jie was good to me... making me feel better... but not mummy or daddy... jie jie just suggested courses... but didn't say much... i wonder what's going to happen now...

he told me not to be sad... but i just can't help it... his friends rushed him to the school gate so that he could console me... and in the end... he lost his phone... i feel bad about it... sigh... i wanted to wait till i got home and then i'll cry like nobody's business... but i couldn't stop it... sigh.... i'm soo sooo sooooo soooooo sad with myself... i don't know what to do with myself...

ignored many messages that asked me about my results... what is it about people that like to know who did worse than them.. i didn't bother about them or other people's results... oh well...

i think i'm gonna stop here already... can't write anymore... it's so freaking hot... gonna bathe already...

~*CyNtHiA sIgNiNg OfFfF*~

A dAy Of LaZiNg ArOuNd~

2005-02-17T17:08:00.000+08:00

It's a day of nothing again... boredness to the max is what i'm feeling now... jobless and penniless... all i have for entertainment is gunbound... if not... writing my blogs... kind of funny that i've got 2 blogs... though... this blog is unknown and so no one except for people who don't know me reads all these crap... haha... my life... everyday would may be the same... cos the same thing happens everyday... i wake up late... have lunch... then use the com or watch tv... then bathe... have dinner... then sleep late... then the whole thing starts all over again... of course... occasionally i'll go out... but nowadays... i don't think so... cos firstly... there's no one to go out with... secondly... i'm broke... i hate going out when i'm broke... so go figure... i'm home all the time... or rather most of the time...

I've got back my hamstie... at last... okay... not exactly got it back... i deposited it at my cousin's place... cos i don't know how to tell my mum that i want a hamster... so... yeah... have to give it to her... for the time being... poor hamstie... she's so unwanted... not that i don't want her... but my mum doesn't want her... sigh... thinking of how though...

Things between me and him are fine... once again... how? i have no idea... it just goes back... on it's own... i don't know if it's good or bad... but at i suppose we are happy... and that's all that matters right? right... passed him his present yesterday... didn't ask if he liked it... but oh well... i like it.. that will do... haha...

I'm in pain while writing this... hit my head against the receiver when i answered the phone... i think i'm gonna get a blue black for that... ow! ow! ow!

Had a talk with my cousin... now she wants the hamster gone... sigh... gotta ask my mum soon... my cousin's driving nuts and irritating the shit out of me...

Gonna stop here for the day... will write... tomorrow... or maybe the day after that... or maybe after that... or after that... or that... chao...

*CyNtHiA sIgNiNg OfFfFf~*

A dAy AfTeR vAlEnTiNe'S dAy~

2005-02-16T06:02:00.000+08:00

It's one day after valentine's day... not much of a celebration with him... the reason? cos he was busy... am i complaining that i don't get a celebration? probably... but then again... we never celebrate anything... our first month... our second... last christmas... and now... valentine's day.... we've got all the timing wrong i suppose...

Yesterday i found out that we were together all because of a respondsibility... hmmm.... what am i to make out of that? this morning he replied me saying it's not... i'm rather confused... if he said it's not... then why the hell he said it was yesterday? maybe my sisters were right... we will never last long... although... i do want it to last long... oh well... we'll see what happens... have not spoken to him this morning at all since i got up... i don't know what to say to him... he's got a match today... i think i shouldn't distract him... let him finish his all that crap training and matches then we'll see what happens next...

My life's so boring... there's nothing for me to do except to watch tv... eat... then sleep... 10 more days to my results are out... scared scared scared... but come what may... there's nothing i can do now...

Alrighty.... i think i've got to stop here... got to have my lunch already... will write soon... sooner or later...

***CyNtHiA SiGnInG OfF~***

28th January-> writing at work... skiving... hahah...

2005-01-28T10:35:00.000+08:00

28th january... i'm bored... just finish having my breakfast... got to start work soon though... sigh... this work is kinda boring... easy.. realaxing... but lack the entertainment... oh well.. but i get $6.50 per hour... how cool is that... i've calculated that in one month i'll get at least 800 bucks plus.. which means... i'm gonna be rich again.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

been spending lots of money these few days... on clothes... on stuff for valentine's day... on food... and on enetertainment... like my gamboy advance sp... which cost me 200 bucks... got a game and charger... not bad a buy... have estimated that i've spent about 300 plus altogether this month... horrible horrible horrible... havn't even got my pay yet... and i'm already spending everything away.... when will i be really rich... i'm only rich for like...1 day? sigh... but i've got a reason for spending... you see... i need to buy new year clothes... plus valentine's day coming and my second month with my black doggy is coming... so i'm combining everything together.. so the cost is rather high... and mostly i spend on food too.. so... yeah... that's why i am broke... once again... sigh... getting fat with all that eating... got to control..

i've got a big big blister on my feet!!!! it's soooooooo pain... argh.... can't walk properly now... and a new blister pop out on my right leg... that one doesn't hurt that much... BUT... IT"S STILL A BLISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh.... my slipper ain't a very friendly slipper eh... i'm wearing the slipper to season it... and my feet's so full of blisters now... sigh... sigh... sigh... hopefully by chinese new year it's seasoned and i won't have to suffer anymore... oh well...

my black doggy's sooo busy these few days... always training and working... he's so not free and i'm like soo free... our life's are total opposites... oh well... only talk to him everyday... must be understanding... haha... i am sooooooo understanding... cos i'm nice... hahaha.... anyway... i suppose this week i won't be seeing him at all... oh well... can't ask too much... hehe... don't see him is fine... as long as he calls to talk... i suppose it's better than nothing... hohoho....

i think i shall stop here or i'll never get much done today... so yeah... me-eeeeeee signing offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff-ieeeeeeeeeee...stay tuned tomorrow not the sane time but same website for more boring stories in the office...

5th January->PaY dAy~!!

2005-01-05T23:32:00.000+08:00

5th december... my pay comes today... money money... hoho... not so broke anymore... haha... i'm so happy... a mini tai tai once again.. haha... it's been so long since i wrote here... after the Os so many things just happens... just had no time to write... but now... i'll be able to write all the time again.. haha... i'm counting the days till i'm free of work again... 4 more days to saying bye bye to ZARA staff... some are nice... but they sucks all the same...

4 more days to my 1 month with my darling... but i have to work though... and is full shift some more... so i suppose we can't celebrate it then... sigh... oh well... doesn't matter... we'll have lots of monthsary to celebrate... i hope so... he's sick now... not in a pretty good shape...

yesterday i cried... confused cry i suppose... i don't know what's wrong... i don't seem to be able to understand him at all... he's so distant sometimes... his coach was angry with him for not turning up for training yesterday... and his team mates think he didn't want to go cos he wanted to go out with me... part of it is true but he was with others too... sigh... i don't know his problems... he doesn't really say them... i sometimes wonder whether am i good enough for him... i don't seem to be able to give him enough... we're only together for a few weeks and i'm already thinking of ending it... sigh... i don't know what i want... i'm scared... stupid of me to feel scared... but i just can't help it.. i'm afraid of losing him... cos i know i will... one of these days we'll just be apart not knowing it.. it's kind of scary to think about it... but i know that's the fact... the lead of thinking this way? it's sam... i know i shouldn't have this thought... but i guess i just feel very insecure about it... my gut feeling tells me he still has feelings for her... i want that feeling to be gone and wrong.. i never tell him this... cos i know he won't be happy about it... and i don't want us to be unhappy... sigh... what am i to do... sigh... why must he be the ex of someone i know... i am a spoiler... a really big spoiler... if it weren't for me... he'll probably be with her and everyone's happy... it's a stupid mistake... i'm stupid... stupid to get into this shit... yet i love him and decided to continue this mistake... i'm confusing myself... why can't i know what i want... part of me wants to be with him... but the other part of me has doubts.. please give me some signs... i'm tired of these fears... fears that keep bugging me even though i don't want them... what the hell... i hate this... my mind just love doing this to me.. sigh...

that's it for today... i don't know what i'm writing... so if it doesn't make any sense... then just ignore this crap... just need to let out some stuff that's been in my head for so long... pretty girl's signing off the first time in 2005...

30th November-> end of the month, the start of being flat flat flat broke...

2004-11-30T15:29:00.000+08:00

30th November... been super broke ever since the end of the exams... no money no job... life sucks... running out of resources soon... how am i going to survive!!!!!!! argh.... this really sucks... I NEED A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! somebody.... anybody... just help this poor girl here... i meant it literally and figuritively... i seriously can't go on living like this... soon i'll be having debts all over me... still owe my sis $80... where am i to find that much money? beats me... a interview coming up on 6th December... have to get the job... not exactly what i wanted but oh well... what am i to do... i'm desperately in need of a job... i need the money... argh~ life's soooo hard without having money...

the past few days have been super tiring... went all over town... went to all the bridal shops.... just to look for a prom dress... it really was tiring... and we started looking like super early... past 3 days woke up at around 9 10 plus... just to look for a dress... and of course jobs... and it seems luck is not on my side... what am i to do... we finally found a dress for the prom at Mirama Hotel... tailor made... very reasonable price... thank god for that... now i do not have to keep hunting for one stupid dress and my sis is happy with it... now is just down to finding jobs... applied at every shop i saw and went in to when searching for a dress... i practically applied it all over town... surely one of them would approve my application... please let them approve...

my sis offended the warehouse sales assistant at Raffles City Shoppong Centre... this was what happen...

Sister: excuse me, are you seeking for employment? is there any vacancy left?

Sales assistant: i don't think so... but you can leave your name and contact no. with us and we'll contact you if there's any...

me and my sis then followed the sales assistant to the counter,.. we wrote down our contact no. on a piece of paper and started leaving when i heard...

Sister: Saggy Breast...

Me:?!?!?!?! (turned around) did you just called her saggy breast?(all the sales assistant turned towards my sis...)

Sister: no... no... no... i didn't... it was written there... i wasn't scolding her saggy breast... it really wasn't me... serious... i didn't say she got a saggy breast... i just said saggy breast...

(sales assistants starts giving the frown... sales assistant at counter didn't look too happy... gave my sis a dirty look)i guess that busted our chance of working in warehouse anymore since my sister called one of them saggy breast...my head is red.... okay... not exactly red red... it's reddish brown... and it came out well... i'm happy with my hair.. and it also pleased my mum... hoho... happy happy.... haha... off to Sarawak i will be today... dreading the hike.. hate it... i'm having sore throat now... it's very pain... but i'm still talking normally.. haha... i'm still as noisy as ever... haha...

i think i'm going to end here yeah... the chio da xiao jie is once again and always again signing off once more!!!