
Thursday, October 19, 2006
hurrays for my voice being back!!!!! i can talk again... not fully recovered but good enough to talk my hearts out... and darling Joyce allowed me to burst it out on her... LoL... 4 more weeks till she's back... HURRAYS!!!! company from her!!!! can't wait... =D
went to the library to prepare for UT... yes... the first time i did that... and Tampines Library ain't that good... it has very limited reference book... luckily for me i could locate one that could help me for UT... and now i'm back on my com studying more for UT... molecular and cell bio... i know nuts man... in fact... i think i don't know what the hell i'm doing anymore... argh!!!! i'm lost... seriously... very lost... have no idea why... i seem to have lost my directions on where i wanna go and do and things like that... i'm drifting... and drifting very badly... help... i do need help!!! i'm going mad... =X
it's puzzling me the things the guy said to me... prolly being super emo and had a tiff with girlfriend leading to such senseless conversation... what exactly is he driving at and trying to get me to say? i don't know man... i'm disgusted by his actions and thoughts... i guess some people just don't change.. never cherishing what they have and always trying to destroy what they have... how stupid... i sympathize such people... cos they don't know what they want... told Joyce about my encounter with him and she said he's prolly testing me and wanna feel some ego about girls can't be without him and apparently... i haven't given him that... am i suppose to? i said before he'll regret ending with me... and he's now regretting... or pretending to regret... i have no idea... but this's the 2nd already... that's totally pathetic... can't he get a life... he has a girlfriend and he's flirting with his old flame...(if i ever was...) what is he thinking... stupid guy... what a loser... *rolls eyes*
it's going to be 2 and i don't feel sleepy at all... i'm having insomnia... oh my... i hate that... i wanna sleep at appropriate times and be awake correctly... do i have lots on my mind? well... ya... considering that school is full of competitions and test and me not knowing what the hell i'm doing anymore and dreaming of the impossibles... obviously i have lots on my mind... but a person got to sleep doesn't she... but i can't.... WHY!!!! * screams * i should stop thinking... but the thoughts don't stp coming... i think too much... dream too much... drift too much... i'm gonna fall into depression and start isloating myself... yea... i've totally lost myself now.. i'm no longer on track... no longer what i think i was.... i'm drowning in my own life... i'm going crazy... goodbye world... i'm gonna just fall into misery till i wake up again... and i pray that when i do wake up... it's not too late... =(
bonne nuit!! heading back to those notes which hopefully will get into my head before i doze off and head off to that dreaded place of mine when i awake... not from the darkness i'm feeling now... but from my sleep... IF i can get any... chao...
sHoW eNdS:1:30 AM
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