
Sunday, April 10, 2005
it's already a day after my 4th month with him... long? i think it is... not much of a celebration though... went out... caught a movie... and me as usual... blabbering and blabbering the whole time... and when we talk over the phone i have nothing to say... kinda funny isn't it? i wonder why.. hmmm.... ought to ask him that some day.. haha... anyway... yeah... as i was saying... we went to catch a movie... Spanglish-> funny and touching... but of course... i didn't cry... i'm not those who'll go bawling over a show... if that's what you call it... by the time it was over... most shops are closed so i couldn't walk around... wanted to take a picture.. but.... sigh... we couldn't... and i don't think he wanted it... never a very keen photo taker i guess... okay...enough about him...
around this time... i should be in school for the FOP camp... but i didn't want to go... I HAVE NO ONE TO ACCOMPANY ME~!! I'M LIKE SO LONELY IF I WENT!! so yeah... i didn't go... but damn... i need to g for FOP this coming tuesday... and friday i have to attend this computer course... all compulsory... i understand the FOP but what about the computer management thing thong bell... oh well... the school's very screw up anyway... it took me like so many days to do my admin thingy cos of a glitch in the bloody system... how screw up can THAT be... school's gonna start in like 2 weeks time... suddenly i don't have the urge to go school anymore... firstly i don't know anyone that's going to the same school as me and is in the same situation as me.. secondly... the people all don't look good... i mean... their dress sense are hideous... thirdly... there's like no cute guys or pretty girls around at all... it's just stupid ah lians and ah bengs or wierd looking people...i mean how bad can that be... seriously? VERY BAD... fourthly... since the system can have a glitch... i think lessons would be a screw up too...hmmm... now the school really sounds bad... but i still have to go to that school... i suppose i shall just be a loner for like 3 years... get really good grades(if possible)... quickly leave the school... and then go uni... and be successful... just hope everything goes smoothly...
ooo... i forgot to say... he bought my a doggy pendent... it's like so cute.. just love it.. haha... why he bought it for me... i have no idea.. whatever it is... i still like it... when it comes to our half year anniversary... maybe i should get him something... haha... something good... hehe... love him lots everytime now... haha... although i still hate it when he just have time with people and not me... one more thing... my choir had silver for SYF... i mean SILVER~!!! it's like... wow! 2 years ago bronze... this year silver... 2 years later gold? ooooo...cool... haha...i'm like so proud of them... hehe...
another issue... i think his darling is still not happy with me... i just wish that she'll just smile at me instead of giving a face that says " i hate you for taking my boyfriend away!!" i mean... i'm sorry hon... but i just couldn't help liking him... i mean... i have never thought that he and i would be together cos i knew he was out of bounds... i knew he belonged to his darling... i didn't want to get closer than just friends... but things do happen... and nothing could stop it..i mean... okay.. i could have stop it... but hey...i'm a girl too... i just wish she just stop making me feel so fucking guilty that i sometimes feel like just giving him up for her...but i know i can't... cos i'm a girl that don't wanna get hurt... i'm not some big-hearted girl... i'm a normal girl that wants to be with someone that i like... which is unfortunately him... going to any choir thing just makes me hate myself... and it's torturous going there... probably i'm a slut to her... just wish i could say sorry to her... it may not make her feel any better but at least i tried to... wanna do something for her to make her better... but i know it's useless... sigh.. i mean... just take the SYF concert for an example... i saw... she saw me... she was smiling before she turned... i was laughing before i saw her face... she saw me... i saw her... her face dropped... i stop laughing... and then she stop smiling throughout till she didn't see my face... i feel bad... but didn't do anything... so... what's wrong? what can i do? i don't know... and i know i'll never know... oh well... sigh.... hope she'll forgive me one day... she just got to... sigh...
okay... enough for today... write tomorrow again.. same time probably...
^*~CyNtHiA SiGniNg OfFfFfFfFf~*^
sHoW eNdS:2:59 AM
PeEk A bOo
[*] LoLLiPoPs
[*] CaNdY cAnEs
[*] CoTtAn cLoUdS
[*] HaPpY dAyS
[*] LiFe'S a StAgE
[*] i'M tHe LeAd

DiVaMaMa CyNtHiA
oBsEsSeD WiTh cAtS
LoVeS LoLLiEs
AdOrEs ReD
FeTiSh FoR FoNdUe
LiVeS tO sHoP
aPpReCiAtEs hUnKs & BaBeS
iN LoVe WiTh ZiDaNe
YeArNs FoR a bLyThE DoLL
hAtEs sChOoL
AsPiReS tO bE a PsYcHiAtRiSt
fAnTaSiZe aBoUt cOtTaGeS
dReAmS oF cOtToN cAnDy cLoUdS
'posts__*
'exitx__*
'tagged__*
'about__*